Wife’s Behavior Confirms I Should Divorce Her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce.

(PS I don’t know any FSOs who can afford 4K purses!)

exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

So you were antagonizing instead of helping when shopping. Basically goading her into a negative reaction.

I bet this is true. Go divorce already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce.

(PS I don’t know any FSOs who can afford 4K purses!)

exactly

It sounds like his wife has an actually lucrative job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

So she makes more money than you?

How is she living “for free” in your house?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the point of this post. If you don’t want to be married to her, then just divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

I am really sorry about the situation, if it is what you say it is (verbal abuse).

And if she is making 230,000 now, think what she would have made if you had been in the US. State doesn't help in situations like this, and part of me - fair or not - hopes you are screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why everyone is piling on OP and if he were a woman the advice would be totally different. If OP and his wife have lived in separate residences while he’s been overseas he is probably eligible for an immediate divorce. If I were OP I’d cut my losses and get a divorce. If his wife makes that much more than him he’d be the one entitled to alimony from her. And while she’s entitled to half of his pension and retirement he’s equally as entitled to hers. So it may not be that much of a financial hit overall. Life’s too short to tolerate miserable people.

Because many of us have seen this play out with male/female foreign service couples, and know how abusive the (employed, typically male) spouses can be - in assuming that the wife does and sacrifices everything. It may not be the case, but the OP seems to fit the stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Could you have posted here months ago - considering serving your wife quick before she flew to your post? I have a vague recollection of thread.

[Anonymous]

I'd say divorce. Any women who HAS to have a $4000 purse on 400k HHI sounds like a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick background. I’m a Foreign Servíce Officer married for 23 years. My wife has not accompanied me on assignments for the past few years as she pursues her own career. I have been considering divorce for some time. She is just an unhappy person and when she is around me she brings out the worst in me. I’m irritable and angry all the time, under stress. When she is not around, I’m calm and feel at peace. During this current assignment during COVID I’ve really started taking care of myself: exercising more, improved diet and I’ve lost about 16 lbs in the last six months.

Recently, she came to visit me at post. Her behavior while here confirmed for me I cannot live with her. She was constantly verbally abusive and demeaning me. She lost her temper last night b/c we were in an upscale department store and they closed the registers before she could complete her purchase. This led to a 20 minute tirade where I “ruin everything” and am just an “asshole.” She has no capacity for gratitude, complaining that I won’t drop $4K on a purse for her like other “husbands she knows.”

She forgets that she lives for free in a house I pay for, etc. She needs to grow up. She is narcissistic, spoiled and entitled. She has been making noises about quitting her job and joining me at post, but here she can tool around on her motorcycle. I don’t want her here. I need to file for divorce ASAP to keep her from coming here and ruining my day-to-day life.

Why are you telling us? Do you need our approval? Just live your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

So she makes more money than you?

How is she living “for free” in your house?

Yeah, I’m stuck on this one too. They both seem to have issues, and he certainly sounds like no prize, claiming that it’s “his house” despite the fact that she brings in a substantial income. Did she raise your kids too, OP? For free?

OP, I do I think you should divorce because it sounds like you’d both be happier apart. But I’m sure not throwing the pity party that you seem to want for yourself. You sound like you have a very self-centered and self-aggrandizing attitude, and little recognition of what her work has contributed to your career and household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

Why should you get lifetime alimony? Can't you support yourself? Is that ghe real reason you want to divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say divorce. Any women who HAS to have a $4000 purse on 400k HHI sounds like a piece of work.

OP probably drops that and more on frivolous stuff that he wants, the wife was likely trying to make a point. Or she knows OP has spent that and more on his AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say divorce. Any women who HAS to have a $4000 purse on 400k HHI sounds like a piece of work.

OP probably drops that and more on frivolous stuff that he wants, the wife was likely trying to make a point. Or she knows OP has spent that and more on his AP.

Dysfunction junction! Expensive "point." More like demerit point for idiocracy. Better off using 4k towards retainer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say divorce. Any women who HAS to have a $4000 purse on 400k HHI sounds like a piece of work.

OP probably drops that and more on frivolous stuff that he wants, the wife was likely trying to make a point. Or she knows OP has spent that and more on his AP.

Dysfunction junction! Expensive "point." More like demerit point for idiocracy. Better off using 4k towards retainer.

A woman who needs a 4k purse is a liability on a balance sheet. Full stop.