Wife’s Behavior Confirms I Should Divorce Her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discount the sacrifices your wife made for your career. Being an EFM sucks. You are basically an appendage.

Reading skills people. Did you catch she makes $230K per year. Most EFMs would kill to even 25 percent of that rather than send me sh*tty CLO job. Appears OP’s wife has been able to make her career work while trailing.

Last time he said they live sort, she and the daughter don’t come. She’s basically starved of interaction from him and looks like arguments and put downs are the only type of attention he gives her. I hope she wakes up and divorces him.

Oh please. Nobody put a gun to her head and made her hang back stateside. She likely hung back here because writing is on the wall that her husband can't stand her and their marriage is hanging by a thread. So she lives separately and works. She probably knows, as she likes $4,000 handbags, that she wouldn't survive on alimony from a FSO. She knows what she is doing. She is miserable, and when she is in his space, it's "come closer so I can slap you" BPD mentality. She's gonna make him pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

Woman FSO here. I don't know why everyone here is piling on. She sounds like a nightmare.

We've done unaccompanied posts (including right now). It may be the only way we can make it through - ha!

Anyway - go ahead and file. Don't let her come to post. Talk to Management/HR about dropping her from your orders.

Good luck.

She’s not on my orders and has no diiplomatic passport. She can travel here on a tourist passport with no visa, but can stay no more than 90 days. Someone up thread mentioned BPD. She has a diagnosis, but IMHO displays more NPD traits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discount the sacrifices your wife made for your career. Being an EFM sucks. You are basically an appendage.

Reading skills people. Did you catch she makes $230K per year. Most EFMs would kill to even 25 percent of that rather than send me sh*tty CLO job. Appears OP’s wife has been able to make her career work while trailing.

Last time he said they live sort, she and the daughter don’t come. She’s basically starved of interaction from him and looks like arguments and put downs are the only type of attention he gives her. I hope she wakes up and divorces him.

Oh please. Nobody put a gun to her head and made her hang back stateside. She likely hung back here because writing is on the wall that her husband can't stand her and their marriage is hanging by a thread. So she lives separately and works. She probably knows, as she likes $4,000 handbags, that she wouldn't survive on alimony from a FSO. She knows what she is doing. She is miserable, and when she is in his space, it's "come closer so I can slap you" BPD mentality. She's gonna make him pay.

Whatever you say OP, whatever you say.

[Anonymous]

OP isn’t going to file for divorce. He never does. He’ll be back next month with some new tale of woe, because he doesn’t actually want to leave his marriage. What he wants is to be a victim, and if he leaves his wife he loses the victim narrative.

[Anonymous]

FS officer? So you want one of those complacent overseas women that will be servants? Lol. Yes please divorce her, you are a chain around her neck.
fyi, you all that might not know this foreign service is full of utter whiners, men are worse than women. They do not know how to “adult” even at 50.
“Call maintenance, my light bulbs are burned out! There is snow, can you send someone to shovel it so I can get to work. There is nothing to do here, entertain me!”
It is a never ending litany of whining!

[Anonymous]

Foreign Service is a gig for the modern day equivalent of the third sons of nobility. Salary too low for people rising from the working class and with student loans but a HYP or equivalent degree required.

OP has likely gotten used to exploring the great cities on his own or being posted in places like Manila where he can have many women quite willing. He probably has family $$$ hence the house she is living in rent free

On the other hand the wife seems like no picnic with the public tantrums about store closings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discount the sacrifices your wife made for your career. Being an EFM sucks. You are basically an appendage.

Reading skills people. Did you catch she makes $230K per year. Most EFMs would kill to even 25 percent of that rather than send me sh*tty CLO job. Appears OP’s wife has been able to make her career work while trailing.

Last time he said they live sort, she and the daughter don’t come. She’s basically starved of interaction from him and looks like arguments and put downs are the only type of attention he gives her. I hope she wakes up and divorces him.

Oh please. Nobody put a gun to her head and made her hang back stateside. She likely hung back here because writing is on the wall that her husband can't stand her and their marriage is hanging by a thread. So she lives separately and works. She probably knows, as she likes $4,000 handbags, that she wouldn't survive on alimony from a FSO. She knows what she is doing. She is miserable, and when she is in his space, it's "come closer so I can slap you" BPD mentality. She's gonna make him pay.

Whatever you say OP, whatever you say.

I'm not OP. Just someone with discernment. A normal wife who hadn't seen her husband in months would have been overjoyed just to be together and share a bed. But no, not OPs wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FS officer? So you want one of those complacent overseas women that will be servants? Lol. Yes please divorce her, you are a chain around her neck.
fyi, you all that might not know this foreign service is full of utter whiners, men are worse than women. They do not know how to “adult” even at 50.
“Call maintenance, my light bulbs are burned out! There is snow, can you send someone to shovel it so I can get to work. There is nothing to do here, entertain me!”
It is a never ending litany of whining!

This post made me chuckle. OP will know exactly what the PP is talking about.
-Ex FSO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP isn’t going to file for divorce. He never does. He’ll be back next month with some new tale of woe, because he doesn’t actually want to leave his marriage. What he wants is to be a victim, and if he leaves his wife he loses the victim narrative.

Yup, this. Literally, what, close to 50 threads by him?

[Anonymous]

folks on here are crazy. Dude, divorce her and go be happy. Hopefully you're both happy after the divorce.

[Anonymous]

I recommend reading this helpful handbook. The Foreign Service clearly has led to enough divorces that there is a statutory structure for the division of benefits.

https://rnet.state.gov/pdf/FS%20Divorce%20Handbook%20Revised%20September%202014.pdf

[Anonymous]

Is this the guy who is too cheap to get divorced? He’s afraid of having to split everything 50-50 with his wife because he doesn’t want to see his net worth go down by half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

LOL. You sound like such a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Foreign Service is a gig for the modern day equivalent of the third sons of nobility. Salary too low for people rising from the working class and with student loans but a HYP or equivalent degree required.

OP has likely gotten used to exploring the great cities on his own or being posted in places like Manila where he can have many women quite willing. He probably has family $$$ hence the house she is living in rent free

On the other hand the wife seems like no picnic with the public tantrums about store closings.

The wife is earning $$$$$ and wont miss this loser one bit. What a clown he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discount the sacrifices your wife made for your career. Being an EFM sucks. You are basically an appendage.

Reading skills people. Did you catch she makes $230K per year. Most EFMs would kill to even 25 percent of that rather than send me sh*tty CLO job. Appears OP’s wife has been able to make her career work while trailing.

Fine. But if she really has been trailing for 23 years, andespecially has kids, she would very likely be making even way more.