Wife’s Behavior Confirms I Should Divorce Her

[Anonymous]

Quick background. I’m a Foreign Servíce Officer married for 23 years. My wife has not accompanied me on assignments for the past few years as she pursues her own career. I have been considering divorce for some time. She is just an unhappy person and when she is around me she brings out the worst in me. I’m irritable and angry all the time, under stress. When she is not around, I’m calm and feel at peace. During this current assignment during COVID I’ve really started taking care of myself: exercising more, improved diet and I’ve lost about 16 lbs in the last six months.

Recently, she came to visit me at post. Her behavior while here confirmed for me I cannot live with her. She was constantly verbally abusive and demeaning me. She lost her temper last night b/c we were in an upscale department store and they closed the registers before she could complete her purchase. This led to a 20 minute tirade where I “ruin everything” and am just an “asshole.” She has no capacity for gratitude, complaining that I won’t drop $4K on a purse for her like other “husbands she knows.”

She forgets that she lives for free in a house I pay for, etc. She needs to grow up. She is narcissistic, spoiled and entitled. She has been making noises about quitting her job and joining me at post, but here she can tool around on her motorcycle. I don’t want her here. I need to file for divorce ASAP to keep her from coming here and ruining my day-to-day life.

[Anonymous]

You sound really bratty and angry. Have you ever considered marriage counseling? Or reading some John Gray? He writes intelligently about the differences in communication both men and women need to make. If you have a lot of money and all the people she knows are wearing 4k bags, I see why she would want the same. You seem to only want to win and be right.

[Anonymous]

I am a FS spouse. I can identify with her. If you hate each other and no one wants to rectify that, it sounds like it's done. But... think about what she has given up in terms of hopes and dreams.

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

(PS I don’t know any FSOs who can afford 4K purses!)

[Anonymous]

Also: what do you mean by "verbally abusive and demeaning?"

[Anonymous]

Grow up. This whole post is petulant and childish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a FS spouse. I can identify with her. If you hate each other and no one wants to rectify that, it sounds like it's done. But... think about what she has given up in terms of hopes and dreams.

Quoting myself- I don't know anyone who can afford this, either, although we don't know what the wife does...

[Anonymous]

You both sound in bad place from each other.

My husband would have been supported me in the store if they suddenly de-staffed 20 minutes before closing and wouldn’t check out people.
You chose to aggravate her and attack her for the store not doing it’s job.
You’re in a bad cycle. You escalate by invalidating her feelings and then like to turn around and call her verbally abusive.
I’ve seen that a-hole type before. They don’t want to talk or here about your opinion or feelings so start an argument, every time. And then accuse you are arguing!

[Anonymous]

Didn’t you already gin up a lawyer a month ago when you posted this? Weren’t you protecting your daughter and then serving the divorce papers?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she needs to divorce you. She's already upset at the store randomly closing early (a normal thing to be annoyed by) and you pile on and start an additional argument?

Sounds like narcissist behavior to me. Kicking someone while theyre down.

[Anonymous]

OP- do you date someone else ?

[Anonymous]

Is there a question? Not sure why you’re posting here since you already have your answer.

[Anonymous]

Since you clearly don’t like your wife at all, yes, of course file for divorce. But why do you say she is “living for free” in a house you pay for when she has her own career?

[Anonymous]

OK? So what are you doing here? We don’t care. Go file.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick background. I’m a Foreign Servíce Officer married for 23 years. My wife has not accompanied me on assignments for the past few years as she pursues her own career. I have been considering divorce for some time. She is just an unhappy person and when she is around me she brings out the worst in me. I’m irritable and angry all the time, under stress. When she is not around, I’m calm and feel at peace. During this current assignment during COVID I’ve really started taking care of myself: exercising more, improved diet and I’ve lost about 16 lbs in the last six months.

Recently, she came to visit me at post. Her behavior while here confirmed for me I cannot live with her. She was constantly verbally abusive and demeaning me. She lost her temper last night b/c we were in an upscale department store and they closed the registers before she could complete her purchase. This led to a 20 minute tirade where I “ruin everything” and am just an “asshole.” She has no capacity for gratitude, complaining that I won’t drop $4K on a purse for her like other “husbands she knows.”

She forgets that she lives for free in a house I pay for, etc. She needs to grow up. She is narcissistic, spoiled and entitled. She has been making noises about quitting her job and joining me at post, but here she can tool around on her motorcycle. I don’t want her here. I need to file for divorce ASAP to keep her from coming here and ruining my day-to-day life.

Since you have been married for 23 years, prepare to have to pay lifetime alimony in addition to splitting half the marital assets. But then she can buy her own $4,000 purse.