Why do some men get married early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they don’t want to end up like my ExBF who lost me because he wouldn’t commit. Now he’s with a poor approximation of me and full of regret. Worked out great for me though! My DH is phenomenal.

+100

My husband’s best friend should have committed to his girlfriend he had late 20s. The one he went for in his mid 30s was nowhere near as good. They have a very bad marriage. Precisely because he felt he had to settle. He now hooks up with the ex-girlfriend who is also married to someone else with kids, for years now. It’s pretty sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best ones get snapped up quickly.

I agree with this. No, you don’t have to be married at 22 and I think there are serious downsides to getting married too early for many people, but if you wait until mid 30s to find a suitable partner you will have a harder time finding someone who shares your values. This applies to people who value marriage, children, and building a life together.

Yeah I agree there is a cliff in the mid-30s. I think you can wait until around 30, but there are a LOT of people that get married at 30-34 in professional circles so there's a big challenge after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think marrying late is a DC phenomena. I feel bad for people in their 40’s who have young children. It’s a great feeling to have an empty nest before you even hit 50.

Great point.

It's also tons of being able to keep up with my teenage kids as we shoot hoops or do anything athletic. Both kids will be out of the house before I turn 47.

Wouldn't change it AT ALL.

Sure, missed out on some happy hours and trips in our late 20s and 30s. But the pay-off in the 40s was totally worth it

+1

But meeting my spouse in mid-20s, we still did tons of happy hours, travel and even a sabbatical and lived abroad before having kids in our early 30s. We were pretty heavy partiers, foodies together before kids---and our passport was filled with stamps.

That's a good point. It was the kids, not the marriage, that stopped us from the happy hours and the international travel, etc

Yep. I'm another person who got married, then spent about 10 years traveling, going to concerts, etc. with my husband before we had kids.

[Anonymous]

According to my husband, he knew someone else would swoop me up if he didn't. Still we dated for three years. Sometimes you just meet the one in your 20s. Still very happy 20+ years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think marrying late is a DC phenomena. I feel bad for people in their 40’s who have young children. It’s a great feeling to have an empty nest before you even hit 50.

Great point.

It's also tons of being able to keep up with my teenage kids as we shoot hoops or do anything athletic. Both kids will be out of the house before I turn 47.

Wouldn't change it AT ALL.

Sure, missed out on some happy hours and trips in our late 20s and 30s. But the pay-off in the 40s was totally worth it

Plenty of us are loving and excelling at “keeping up with” our younger kids in our 40’s, so get over yourselves. You are not special or better at life because you got married and had kids young. These things happen for people at different times due to various life circumstances, including luck, so don’t be so smug. If anything I have noticed that people in their 40s with young kids seem much younger than people their same age who are empty nesters. The kids are keeping them young I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to my husband, he knew someone else would swoop me up if he didn't. Still we dated for three years. Sometimes you just meet the one in your 20s. Still very happy 20+ years later.

Some of you people have very high opinions of yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to my husband, he knew someone else would swoop me up if he didn't. Still we dated for three years. Sometimes you just meet the one in your 20s. Still very happy 20+ years later.

Some of you people have very high opinions of yourselves.

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think marrying late is a DC phenomena. I feel bad for people in their 40’s who have young children. It’s a great feeling to have an empty nest before you even hit 50.

Great point.

It's also tons of being able to keep up with my teenage kids as we shoot hoops or do anything athletic. Both kids will be out of the house before I turn 47.

Wouldn't change it AT ALL.

Sure, missed out on some happy hours and trips in our late 20s and 30s. But the pay-off in the 40s was totally worth it

Plenty of us are loving and excelling at “keeping up with” our younger kids in our 40’s, so get over yourselves. You are not special or better at life because you got married and had kids young. These things happen for people at different times due to various life circumstances, including luck, so don’t be so smug. If anything I have noticed that people in their 40s with young kids seem much younger than people their same age who are empty nesters. The kids are keeping them young I guess.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best ones get snapped up quickly.

I agree with this. No, you don’t have to be married at 22 and I think there are serious downsides to getting married too early for many people, but if you wait until mid 30s to find a suitable partner you will have a harder time finding someone who shares your values. This applies to people who value marriage, children, and building a life together.

Another full of shit poster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume it’s because they want to lock down a woman who theU subconsciously feel is out of their league in attractiveness.

Women have more societal power n their twenties. Men have more in their forties.

Yep there are a lot of.smart women and also some guys who are nerdy etc early on don't realize they'll be a "catch" later on when they are successful and have learned to dress better and work out. They are just happy to have found someone.

Lol no

[Anonymous]

I still can’t believe that people are arguing that when you have kids determines the quality of parent you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to my husband, he knew someone else would swoop me up if he didn't. Still we dated for three years. Sometimes you just meet the one in your 20s. Still very happy 20+ years later.

Some of you people have very high opinions of yourselves.

Nevertheless, I think FOMO drives the decision in many cases. My DH was actually older when we married, so why me instead of enjoying even more bachelor years? FOMO. I was literally about to break up with him when he proposed, which he did before he even had the ring yet because he sensed I was about to leave him. I'm not the most attractive women he ever dated but I am attractive, plus good job, good family, shared hobbies. I never said I was about to break up with him because I didn't want to stay in a relationship because I had to give someone an ultimatum, but I did have my exit already planned because I figured I could find someone who wanted the same things I did (marriage and kids) and it didn't seem like he was ready. I guess that got him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience religious or religious and gay.

You are forgetting military. I’m from a military family. One of my brothers and over half of my male cousins were married by 25. All were active duty at the time. I think they see their buddies get married and then they have a wife to handle stuff and they get more pay.

Military is another one. Also in my experience " townies". I'm prepared for a bunch of posts telling me they met there DH while living abroad and they travel all the time, and that's great for you but the guys I know who married young never left their hometown may have gone to college but usually it was a local school landed decent jobs but weren't overly ambitious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to my husband, he knew someone else would swoop me up if he didn't. Still we dated for three years. Sometimes you just meet the one in your 20s. Still very happy 20+ years later.

Some of you people have very high opinions of yourselves.

Nevertheless, I think FOMO drives the decision in many cases. My DH was actually older when we married, so why me instead of enjoying even more bachelor years? FOMO. I was literally about to break up with him when he proposed, which he did before he even had the ring yet because he sensed I was about to leave him. I'm not the most attractive women he ever dated but I am attractive, plus good job, good family, shared hobbies. I never said I was about to break up with him because I didn't want to stay in a relationship because I had to give someone an ultimatum, but I did have my exit already planned because I figured I could find someone who wanted the same things I did (marriage and kids) and it didn't seem like he was ready. I guess that got him!

I think FOMO is what drives the majority of marriages not to say that the people don't care for each other, but it's not the big romance and meeting this amazing person people claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still can’t believe that people are arguing that when you have kids determines the quality of parent you are.

People especially the people who post on DCUM will argue anything to make themselves feel superior to others.