Why do some men get married early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

What women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

I am late to this thread, but I think how you have framed this question is telling. You think being single is "fun" and being married I guess isn't.

I got married at 25, my wife was 22. I knew very well that my dating "stock" would continue to rise at least into my thirties but that obviously wasn't what I was thinking about. I loved my wife and wanted to get married. I have no regrets. I did the college thing. I had been in a couple of long term serious relationships. I knew enough to know that my wife and I were a good match. We have traveled the world together. We have wonderful kids. We have both been successful in our careers, and we have done it all together.

What would I trade that away for? Dating absolutely had its moments, and I certainly get the appeal of the prospect of more variety, etc, but there was also so much BS and wasted energy. I can't imagine giving up what I have had just for the chance to roll the dice a few dozen more times.

There will always be the possibility of something a little bit better out there I suppose, but an inability to recognize when you have something special is ultimately self destructive.

This is where the thread should end. So well said.

Pretending to be a husband and sockpuppeting.

[Anonymous]

My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

[Anonymous]

That's only early in this absurd-cost-of-living/career-obsessed area. It would be late in my hometown (rural Southeast).

I married at 25 and it was because I found the love of my life at 23.

[Anonymous]

Anecdotally,
1. Religious

2. From a fairly conservative culture.


3. Military.

4. Related to 1 and 2, but gay and afraid to come out.


Also anecdotally, there's no real difference in the quality of husbands between those that married in their 20s vs those who married closer to 40. If there's a difference it's in the quality of what they are able to give their children, finances and waiting for better career positions, is the main reason the people I know who maybe married at 20 something waited until 30s to have kids.

As for dating, the majority of my late 30s+ friends male and female aren't having trouble dating and finding quality people. The few who are having problems have issues that are not age related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

How long have they been married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

Overly involved inlaws is a big issue for those that marry early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotally,
1. Religious

2. From a fairly conservative culture.


3. Military.

4. Related to 1 and 2, but gay and afraid to come out.


Also anecdotally, there's no real difference in the quality of husbands between those that married in their 20s vs those who married closer to 40. If there's a difference it's in the quality of what they are able to give their children, finances and waiting for better career positions, is the main reason the people I know who maybe married at 20 something waited until 30s to have kids.

As for dating, the majority of my late 30s+ friends male and female aren't having trouble dating and finding quality people. The few who are having problems have issues that are not age related.

Related to #1-2, their high school or college sweetheart won't put out before marriage.

[Anonymous]

I honestly assumed they were oversexed same for the women who marry early. IF you have been dating around and sleeping with people since you were 14/15 years old, you feel like you're washed up by 25. nothing else to do but get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

How long have they been married?

5 years and 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

Overly involved inlaws is a big issue for those that marry early.

I don’t see that at all. DH and I got married when we were 22. We have never had an issue with either set of parents. We are all very close. We have been married well over 30 years. I don’t see it in my kids’ marriages either. We aren’t “overly involved”. We see them three or four times a year. I wish we lived closer, but that’s where their jobs took them. I have two married kids and three who are single. Everyone will be with us for Christmas this year! I’m so excited!

[Anonymous]

Some men hate dating and when they find someone they want to settle down with, they're ready to lock her in before she gets away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

The bolded statement bothers me. The attitude of a woman needing to be “good for” a man both infantilizes men by making it seem like they NEED some one to help them through life and degrades women by making it seem like their job is to “support” their men.

This is in contrast to a man and woman coming together as individuals that support each other.

Your daughters in law do not exist for your sons. They are their own people. Your language here makes it seem like you may give this idea lip service, but deep down, you think they are supposed to just support your sons, not be their own people.

Maybe you just chose your words poorly, but that is how I am reading it right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys got married at 28 and 26. It had nothing to do with age. They fell in love. They were ready. Neither one of them cared about partying or sleeping around by that age. They were ready to settle down. My Daughters-in-law are so great for them. Why would they have waited? They knew a good thing when they had it.

The bolded statement bothers me. The attitude of a woman needing to be “good for” a man both infantilizes men by making it seem like they NEED some one to help them through life and degrades women by making it seem like their job is to “support” their men.

This is in contrast to a man and woman coming together as individuals that support each other.

Your daughters in law do not exist for your sons. They are their own people. Your language here makes it seem like you may give this idea lip service, but deep down, you think they are supposed to just support your sons, not be their own people.

Maybe you just chose your words poorly, but that is how I am reading it right now.

They are good for each other. The topic of the thread specifically mentions men. I guess I thought that was obvious.

You need to read The Four Agreements.

[Anonymous]

Because some men, at 24/25/26, find the idea of settling down with a partner they love in a committed relationship to be a really attractive way to live.

Kind of how some other men feel like dating around and living the single life is a really attractive way to live.

Kind of like how some people like pizza and other people hate pizza but like sushi, and others don't really have an opinion about either, and others dislike or like both.

People like different things. CHRIST!