This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who had this happen, was still intimate with her AP, when he had a heart attack. She had to hear through 3rd parties that he died. She was bereft and completely cut off.

She had no other relationships with even women friends because no one approved of this long term affair. She has no other family. She built her whole world around him. He acted as if she was his partner. But at the end of the day she didn't even have a way to find out what happened to him other than dig around.

I really don't understand how women can put themselves in this position.

Ouch.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her long term AP died, and she asked me to attend the funeral in her place. I did it to help her, but it was awful, and I found it pathetic at the time, though now I wish I had been more empathetic about the bird position she put herself in but I didn't really get at the time how isolating it must have been.

It was pathetic. She put herself in that position. Your friend, OP are not the first women on earth to be lonely. they just chose to play a foolish game and lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has been good for me in some ways and life ruining in others. But it seems like it’s not longer good for me, or him.

Is this OP? You are hanging on to something that doesn’t even exist anymore. In your OP you said you don’t talk or meet, and sounds like you haven’t for a while. This was a mistake years ago when you did it and hanging on to it as long as you have is really sad. I agree with the PPs that recommended therapy. Obsessing over a married man who’s not interested in you is not healthy.

You are entering psycho territory, OP. You have an unhealthy obsession with something that isn’t there and never would be. He married the woman he lived and has turned back to his family. It’s not you.

Go find your happiness elsewhere, and good lord not somebody else married, unavailable or in a relationship.

Disagree she should find someone else. Totally messed up person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was never dying. He just wanted a reason to get you to stop being a Stage 4 clinger.

This is one of the myriad of reasons why married people should not have affairs. There are so many unstable people out there like OP. They live in fantasy land and read something into nothing. They just can’t accept that they ultimately meant nothing. Tough pill to swallow. To know you were duped.

Okay I will let his Surgeon and ICU team know you think they were imaginary. I'm sure the enormous scars are also just makeup.

It's not hard to google names of surgeons or pictures., OP. The bottom line real or not this man does not want you in his life in any real way. At the best, you are his dirty little secret. You are of zero value to him. Stop communicating with him and get therapy.

TBH you sound crazier than the OP with your "fake illness" conspiracy theory.

That anyone's imagination would even go there tells you so much about who is in this forum. This is nuts.


You are responding to at least 2 different people, and it may sound crazy to you, but it's really not that hard to fake an illness, especially if you think it might get someone to finally leave you alone, and you haven't seen this person in years. OP and the guy are pathetic people. I totally see a pathetic person faking an illness and another pathetic person believing it, but it really doesn't matter if the illness was fake or real.


What matters is OP needs to move the hell on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has been good for me in some ways and life ruining in others. But it seems like it’s not longer good for me, or him.

Is this OP? You are hanging on to something that doesn’t even exist anymore. In your OP you said you don’t talk or meet, and sounds like you haven’t for a while. This was a mistake years ago when you did it and hanging on to it as long as you have is really sad. I agree with the PPs that recommended therapy. Obsessing over a married man who’s not interested in you is not healthy.

You are entering psycho territory, OP. You have an unhealthy obsession with something that isn’t there and never would be. He married the woman he lived and has turned back to his family. It’s not you.

Go find your happiness elsewhere, and good lord not somebody else married, unavailable or in a relationship.

Disagree she should find someone else. Totally messed up person.

Yeah she needs to work on herself a lot before getting involved with someone else, as she is now she'll only end up in another toxic situatuion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who had this happen, was still intimate with her AP, when he had a heart attack. She had to hear through 3rd parties that he died. She was bereft and completely cut off.

She had no other relationships with even women friends because no one approved of this long term affair. She has no other family. She built her whole world around him. He acted as if she was his partner. But at the end of the day she didn't even have a way to find out what happened to him other than dig around.

I really don't understand how women can put themselves in this position.

Ouch.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her long term AP died, and she asked me to attend the funeral in her place. I did it to help her, but it was awful, and I found it pathetic at the time, though now I wish I had been more empathetic about the bird position she put herself in but I didn't really get at the time how isolating it must have been.

My husband’s a death investigator it’s called a DIS. Died in the sac.

The cops won’t even talk to the whore because she is not “next of kin”. Her belongings are often confiscated as evidence and rarely returned.

They call and call and call but they can’t give any info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you never gave us your back story. What happened to get you to this place?

She cannot share this because it would poke holes in the star-crossed lovers fairytale she's created for herself and this man. She'd also probably lose the little sympathy she has.

Also, OP is clearly an attention seeker, and she gets more attention this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who had this happen, was still intimate with her AP, when he had a heart attack. She had to hear through 3rd parties that he died. She was bereft and completely cut off.

She had no other relationships with even women friends because no one approved of this long term affair. She has no other family. She built her whole world around him. He acted as if she was his partner. But at the end of the day she didn't even have a way to find out what happened to him other than dig around.

I really don't understand how women can put themselves in this position.

Ouch.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her long term AP died, and she asked me to attend the funeral in her place. I did it to help her, but it was awful, and I found it pathetic at the time, though now I wish I had been more empathetic about the bird position she put herself in but I didn't really get at the time how isolating it must have been.

My husband’s a death investigator it’s called a DIS. Died in the sac.

The cops won’t even talk to the whore because she is not “next of kin”. Her belongings are often confiscated as evidence and rarely returned.

They call and call and call but they can’t give any info.

WTF I didn't say he died in bed with her! He died at home of a rare blood cancer. Jesus, who even are you people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you never gave us your back story. What happened to get you to this place?

Thank you for asking, it is 100% relevant but not something I would disclose to this group. Sorry.

That’s fine I sympathize. I have many friends who got bamboozled by a man.

Seriously get therapy I’m not joking you can have a great life you can forget this user of a loser. You will look back on this time as a horrible mistake and you will see him in a clear light.

You deserve a good life and he has enabled you to waste years on a dead end road and never gave 2 sh!ts about how it’s left you lost and alone.

Getting involved with a married man is not being bamboozled. It’s being a complete idiot. Obviously, he’s a liar and it’s not going to end well.

She was 100% complicit in this evil arrangement. I’m not sure why people think she’s the “good one”. They were both messed up and evil people living a lie that was bound to hurt innocent people. She knew that and willingly went after it.

Now she needs to get the hell over it and be better. Right now she’s a pretty shitty person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you never gave us your back story. What happened to get you to this place?

She cannot share this because it would poke holes in the star-crossed lovers fairytale she's created for herself and this man. She'd also probably lose the little sympathy she has.

Also, OP is clearly an attention seeker, and she gets more attention this way.

OP and you really have no idea and this is case in point of why this is the wrong audience for this information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who had this happen, was still intimate with her AP, when he had a heart attack. She had to hear through 3rd parties that he died. She was bereft and completely cut off.

She had no other relationships with even women friends because no one approved of this long term affair. She has no other family. She built her whole world around him. He acted as if she was his partner. But at the end of the day she didn't even have a way to find out what happened to him other than dig around.

I really don't understand how women can put themselves in this position.

Ouch.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her long term AP died, and she asked me to attend the funeral in her place. I did it to help her, but it was awful, and I found it pathetic at the time, though now I wish I had been more empathetic about the bird position she put herself in but I didn't really get at the time how isolating it must have been.

My husband’s a death investigator it’s called a DIS. Died in the sac.

The cops won’t even talk to the whore because she is not “next of kin”. Her belongings are often confiscated as evidence and rarely returned.

They call and call and call but they can’t give any info.

WTF I didn't say he died in bed with her! He died at home of a rare blood cancer. Jesus, who even are you people.

Sorry I read “was still intimate when he had a heart attack” as a DIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has been good for me in some ways and life ruining in others. But it seems like it’s not longer good for me, or him.

Is this OP? You are hanging on to something that doesn’t even exist anymore. In your OP you said you don’t talk or meet, and sounds like you haven’t for a while. This was a mistake years ago when you did it and hanging on to it as long as you have is really sad. I agree with the PPs that recommended therapy. Obsessing over a married man who’s not interested in you is not healthy.

You are entering psycho territory, OP. You have an unhealthy obsession with something that isn’t there and never would be. He married the woman he lived and has turned back to his family. It’s not you.

Go find your happiness elsewhere, and good lord not somebody else married, unavailable or in a relationship.

Disagree she should find someone else. Totally messed up person.

Yeah she needs to work on herself a lot before getting involved with someone else, as she is now she'll only end up in another toxic situatuion.

Ready to be used by the next married man that needs to get himself off with some strange before going back to his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you never gave us your back story. What happened to get you to this place?

Thank you for asking, it is 100% relevant but not something I would disclose to this group. Sorry.

That’s fine I sympathize. I have many friends who got bamboozled by a man.

Seriously get therapy I’m not joking you can have a great life you can forget this user of a loser. You will look back on this time as a horrible mistake and you will see him in a clear light.

You deserve a good life and he has enabled you to waste years on a dead end road and never gave 2 sh!ts about how it’s left you lost and alone.

Getting involved with a married man is not being bamboozled. It’s being a complete idiot. Obviously, he’s a liar and it’s not going to end well.

She was 100% complicit in this evil arrangement. I’m not sure why people think she’s the “good one”. They were both messed up and evil people living a lie that was bound to hurt innocent people. She knew that and willingly went after it.

Now she needs to get the hell over it and be better. Right now she’s a pretty shitty person.

I’m guessing she has child sexual abuse or a rape in her past. Without therapy I don’t really feel she has the emotional maturity to understand the full compliment of her actions.

[Anonymous]

I had the exact same situation, so close to yours I had to check the date to be sure I didn't write it.

I can accept the situation, he was trying to protect his family from additional pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you never gave us your back story. What happened to get you to this place?

She cannot share this because it would poke holes in the star-crossed lovers fairytale she's created for herself and this man. She'd also probably lose the little sympathy she has.

Also, OP is clearly an attention seeker, and she gets more attention this way.

OP and you really have no idea and this is case in point of why this is the wrong audience for this information.

No, I know your type very well. IT's also why you continue to play this game with him, post on DCUM instead of getting actual help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who had this happen, was still intimate with her AP, when he had a heart attack. She had to hear through 3rd parties that he died. She was bereft and completely cut off.

She had no other relationships with even women friends because no one approved of this long term affair. She has no other family. She built her whole world around him. He acted as if she was his partner. But at the end of the day she didn't even have a way to find out what happened to him other than dig around.

I really don't understand how women can put themselves in this position.

Ouch.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her long term AP died, and she asked me to attend the funeral in her place. I did it to help her, but it was awful, and I found it pathetic at the time, though now I wish I had been more empathetic about the bird position she put herself in but I didn't really get at the time how isolating it must have been.

My husband’s a death investigator it’s called a DIS. Died in the sac.

The cops won’t even talk to the whore because she is not “next of kin”. Her belongings are often confiscated as evidence and rarely returned.

They call and call and call but they can’t give any info.

WTF I didn't say he died in bed with her! He died at home of a rare blood cancer. Jesus, who even are you people.

Sorry I read “was still intimate when he had a heart attack” as a DIS.

It's two different stories in the post you responded to.