Reply to Struggling in longterm relationship with attraction

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

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My boss doesn't say they love me. My husband doesn't judge me on my performance or adherence to his expectations.

Your love seems conditional. [/quote]

You’re conflating love and physical attraction. The two can be quite different.[/quote]

In a long-term relationship they are supposed to be interconnected. I think my husband still wants to have a lot of sex with me b.c he loves me so much. I'm a sweat pants aficionado and have gained weight after 3 kids. But he's still into me.

What's going to happen when you are both 50? 65? 75? Old ladies don't go in for lingerie very much as far as I can tell. [/quote]

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