Is it a Thing For Men to Ask a Woman How Many Fathers Her Kids Have?

[Anonymous]

I have 4 and for the record they all have the same dad (my ex-husband). Over the years the question of how many fathers has come up with several first dates, with the most recent occurrence taking place this afternoon. As soon as I mentioned having 4 kids, he followed up with "how many dads?"

Each time I am a bit miffed by the question. Although I am glad mine all have the same dad, why early on does it matter how many they have? The question is rude.


Guys, have you ever asked this question, if so why? Ladies, have you ever been asked?

[Anonymous]

I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Where are you meeting these super klassy dudes? Hopefully they found their way back under their rock when the date was over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I don’t mean to be rude but I agree. It is an obnoxious question, but they are probably just shocked. If I were you I’d bring that up before the date just so men are aware of what they are (potentially) getting into.

[Anonymous]

You should tell them how many kids you have before the date. They probably ask because they want to know how many baby daddys they have to deal with if they are in a relationship with you.

They can be more subtle about asking but it’s not a unreasonable question.

[Anonymous]

I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I am intrigued by this, as post divorce I have never had a problem meeting men. Not a single one has run for the hills upon finding out either. Which is the reason I am not sure why the answer matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I am intrigued by this, as post divorce I have never had a problem meeting men. Not a single one has run for the hills upon finding out either. Which is the reason I am not sure why the answer matters.

So they still want to date and get laid. Doesn’t mean they want to become stepdad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

[Anonymous]

I am inspired to watch a classic this evening, Bebes Kids.

Thank you OP

[Anonymous]

Cut the date short if they ask that. Politely excuse yourself, pay your portion of the bill, and walk out. Use you night to go to the movies by yourself, go to the bookstore, take a walk to get coffee, washing your hair. Pretty much anything else other than wasting your time with someone who is so ill bread that they would ask something like that. It reflect on them not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

Yes, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

You should have told him in your texts. # of kids is basic information like being unmarried or married when it comes to dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut the date short if they ask that. Politely excuse yourself, pay your portion of the bill, and walk out. Use you night to go to the movies by yourself, go to the bookstore, take a walk to get coffee, washing your hair. Pretty much anything else other than wasting your time with someone who is so ill bread that they would ask something like that. It reflect on them not you.

Ppl here. lol. I meant breed. It was an awesome autocorrect though.