Is it a Thing For Men to Ask a Woman How Many Fathers Her Kids Have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.

Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

What do you expect from someone who picked you up in a parking lot?

[Anonymous]

At least he didn’t ask you “how much?” When he propositioned you in a parking lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

You should have told him in your texts. # of kids is basic information like being unmarried or married when it comes to dating.

Op here, this is hilarious! Having kids is not akin to a herpes disclosure! I don’t “disclose” the fact that I have kids, I mention it matter of factually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.

Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

[Anonymous]

A relative has two kids by two different guys, no marriages in her past, she wonders why she can't meet anybody. She barely knew who the dads were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

You should have told him in your texts. # of kids is basic information like being unmarried or married when it comes to dating.

Op here, this is hilarious! Having kids is not akin to a herpes disclosure! I don’t “disclose” the fact that I have kids, I mention it matter of factually.

Being married or not is something you should disclose before a date... just like having FOUR kids.

[Anonymous]

It’s very rude.

If it were me, since asking a question that rude is going to rule him out anyway, I’d say 4 dads just for the heck of it.

[Anonymous]

I would say 8 dads.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you need to be a bit more discerning about who you date and when you date them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.

Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

Well, a middle aged mom of 4 picking up strange guys in parking lots kind of lends itself to a certain type of "catch."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I dated when I had four kids. And someone married me. Now I have six kids.

[Anonymous]

Are ya black? I think assumptions might be made about your baby-daddy situation if you are, that might not be made if you're white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am amazed that you can find men who will date you with four kids.

I dated when I had four kids. And someone married me. Now I have six kids.

That’s great! Did you meet your DH in a parking lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's a bit forward; I also see why they want to know. But it seems like there are nicer / better ways to phrase it...(All from the same relationship? Do they all have the same father?)

Op
Can avoid all that by telling them how many kids she has before the first date. It is completely disingenuous to tell someone you have four kids on a first date. Waste of everyone’s time.

I am not meeting the men online, so they aren't reading a profile. I meet men the old fashioned way--in person. The guy from today pulled up on me in a parking lot on Tuesday and asked for my number. We went out to lunch today after several back and forth text messages.

Should I have told him in the parking lot that I have 4 kids? I don't view my kids as a detriment or a dirty secret so having them works its way into the conversation organically and within the first conversation. Geesh

No, you probably should not have gone out with a stranger who pulled up and propositioned you in a parking lot.



Don't you remember Silence of the Lambs?

Sheesh.

Meeting someone online isnt dangerous?

Well, a middle aged mom of 4 picking up strange guys in parking lots kind of lends itself to a certain type of "catch."

Are you male or female? I ask because having guys hit on you wherever is pretty much the norm. Would it have been any different if he had done it in the produce section of the grocery store or at the bar?? Funny how what used to be normal is now viewed as abnormal, and what used to seem weird (online dating) is now the norm.