If your family are trumpsters

[Anonymous]

Please don't argue the issues here.

What do you do if your family supports a regime that is cruel and immoral and hurting children and families?

I am going to visit for a vacation in a couple weeks and not sure what I will encounter. I have been discussing with my mom and she concedes that child detainment is horrible, but says so is abortion.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to go "don't ask, don't tell". Just avoid the subject(s), and keep the conversations light and fluffy. It's what I have to do with my family members, and at this moment, that even includes my husband .

[Anonymous]

I can't interact with them at all. The divide between Republican/Trumpsters and Dems has gotten VERY wide in the last decade or so.

Two of my former republic friends have gone Dem.

If I were you, I would not vacation with them. When I'm on vacation I don't WANT to be PC or filter myself, or avoid talking about issues that float through my head - I want to relax.

[Anonymous]

I can't discuss it with them -- they are bigots and I can't engage. It sucks, because I don't want to remain quiet, but it also sucks because I do want a relationship with my family.

[Anonymous]

I have the same exact situation and am going to visit for a couple weeks at the beginning of July. I'm dreading it, but just resign myself that they're ignorant and stubborn. I refuse to engage in any discussion having to do with Trump.

[Anonymous]

I don't know - it's so hard. In my case it's my MIL and FIL...we've been fighting for years (since they started insisting that Obama is Muslim and born in Kenya and joked that people crossing the border should be shot on sight). We've had raging fights and finally my DH asked me to stop. I've stopped being friendly with them and am now just civil. I engage kindly when my children are around but once my kids are in bed I essentially leave the room and won't deal with them at all. They know I find their views repugnant and am only maintaining a relationship for the sake of my DH and kids. FWIW they are good grandparents but I listen and watch like a hawk to make sure they don't say anything racist or hateful in front of my kids. They are coming to visit in a week...we'll see how it goes. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

We just don't talk politics or any current issues.

We stick to boring ass topics like the weather, entertainment news, family gossip, etc.

[Anonymous]

Assuming you have to go on this vacation, remember that you won't be able to change their minds.

Keep a list of "safe" topics in your mind (what the kids are up to, travel spots, entertainment, etc.). I wouldn't advocate getting drunk, but a glass of wine always makes me more tolerant of morons.

[Anonymous]

DH and I both come from republican families. My family LOVED the Bushes and are hard core Catholics. They have slowly turned the corner to a more moderate view and even voted for Obama the 2nd time and Hilary this last election. They are truly disgusted with Trump and also "sad" they no longer have a party since the republicans they considered themselves have all gone nut-so. My husbands family decided to go nut-so and they are so far gone its shocking. MIL posted something the other day and used the term "Barack Husain Obama." Had to un-friend. I am just not putting up with it anymore. Im just not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to go "don't ask, don't tell". Just avoid the subject(s), and keep the conversations light and fluffy. It's what I have to do with my family members, and at this moment, that even includes my husband .

+1 I abhor Trump but I also don’t feel the need to talk about the administrator and it’s policies at social gatherings. I want to be present with loved ones and discuss their and my non-political lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to go "don't ask, don't tell". Just avoid the subject(s), and keep the conversations light and fluffy. It's what I have to do with my family members, and at this moment, that even includes my husband .

Same with my H.

My ILs and H are all very conservative and they'd been so angry during the Obama years. No family gatherings had been free of political talks and rants. Now adays it's kind of nice that everyone avoids talking politics. I guess they're not so angry anymore, which makes my head spin.

[Anonymous]

Thankfully, my Republican in laws despise Trump and everything he stands for. They're still pretty conservative and we just avoid certain topics when together.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have done the quiet, don't discuss route.

At times I have tried to persuade.

But this child torture thing is my breaking point.

I was looking forward to the visit before this crisis happened.

Now I am not sure I can break bread with these people. If I don't go, it would be statement. But not sure they would get the message right. This is all my family - mom, dad, dad's gf my sisters and their hubs. Views may vary amo g them - but I think it is likely they think this is ok because the parents broke the law.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I avoid talking about immigration since I am anti illegal immigration and he thinks the whole world should be allowed to come to the US.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I guess I am trying to figure out if I would associate with my family if they were Nazis. I am thinking no??

I love my family but to me, if they are not outraged by kids being tortured, they are as bad as Nazis.