If your family are trumpsters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If pressed, they say they think it's awful. But then demonstrate they don't really know (care) much about it. Complacency when kids are being systematically torn from families??

I want outrage from these people who supposedly hold Christian values.

My tactic is to give my family a path to walk. It is difficult for people to admit that they are wrong. If you expect them to swing violently from one side of the pendulum to the other than you don't know much about people.

Doubt is a good first step down the path. Regret, wondering if you would do the same thing again, all additional steps. Give them space to change their views gradually or risk pushing them farther into a corner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I quit talking to these people a long time ago. Don't miss it a bit.

Ditto, they weren't close family members though

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm a very conservative pro-lifer, Christian, etc, whose in-laws are Trump supporters (I am not). We are visiting for Fourth of July, and I'm just prepared to walk. We usually fly in and use their third car, but have rented our own car this time. I'm going to give them some leeway, but if they attack me, I'm done. Is that something you can plan and live with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If pressed, they say they think it's awful. But then demonstrate they don't really know (care) much about it. Complacency when kids are being systematically torn from families??

I want outrage from these people who supposedly hold Christian values.

So they agree with you, but in your estimation they are not sufficiently outraged? That definitely seems like a legitimate reason to make a huge stink, boycott or the like.

I definitely have a policy of only associating with people who not only agree with me, but express such agreement in the same manor and the same fervency.

[Anonymous]

No election, no election outcome, no politician should never divide a family to the point that you won't visit with them or have them in your home. It's not worth it, and those freakin' politicians sure aren't worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If pressed, they say they think it's awful. But then demonstrate they don't really know (care) much about it. Complacency when kids are being systematically torn from families??

I want outrage from these people who supposedly hold Christian values.

Text them back and do another poll now that Trump has signed an EO reversing his policy. Then judge accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No election, no election outcome, no politician should never divide a family to the point that you won't visit with them or have them in your home. It's not worth it, and those freakin' politicians sure aren't worth it.

correction--no politician should EVER divide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to go "don't ask, don't tell". Just avoid the subject(s), and keep the conversations light and fluffy. It's what I have to do with my family members, and at this moment, that even includes my husband .

+1 I abhor Trump but I also don’t feel the need to talk about the administrator and it’s policies at social gatherings. I want to be present with loved ones and discuss their and my non-political lives.

The problem is that others can’t be present with their loved ones. And you should be thinking of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to go "don't ask, don't tell". Just avoid the subject(s), and keep the conversations light and fluffy. It's what I have to do with my family members, and at this moment, that even includes my husband .

+1 I abhor Trump but I also don’t feel the need to talk about the administrator and it’s policies at social gatherings. I want to be present with loved ones and discuss their and my non-political lives.

The problem is that others can’t be present with their loved ones. And you should be thinking of them.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to go "don't ask, don't tell". Just avoid the subject(s), and keep the conversations light and fluffy. It's what I have to do with my family members, and at this moment, that even includes my husband .

+1 I abhor Trump but I also don’t feel the need to talk about the administrator and it’s policies at social gatherings. I want to be present with loved ones and discuss their and my non-political lives.

The problem is that others can’t be present with their loved ones. And you should be thinking of them.

Nope. I will not spend every waking minute of the day thinking of the world’s atrocities. It’s ok to be present with your family.

[Anonymous]

I struggle with the same feelings about my pro-Trump family members. I tend to find common ground with everyone, but I just can’t with the whataboitism, naked racism, mindless support for the eradication of democratic and civil norms, and the frothing at the mouth hysteria at the mention of the word Hilary. See also the lying, the corruption, and the general lack of moral or personal integrity. I also think the Christians among them would vote for Satan himself if he promised them a Supreme Court seat. I feel a lot of shame and sadness for them, same as I would feel as if they were duped into dumping their life savings into amway.

I guess Putin won after all. We’re so divided among ourselves, even our family, about things that used to be universally accepted. Now Russia can just walk right in and neutralize us and the party in charge of all three branches of government by hook and by crook doesn’t care because they won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I struggle with the same feelings about my pro-Trump family members. I tend to find common ground with everyone, but I just can’t with the whataboitism, naked racism, mindless support for the eradication of democratic and civil norms, and the frothing at the mouth hysteria at the mention of the word Hilary. See also the lying, the corruption, and the general lack of moral or personal integrity. I also think the Christians among them would vote for Satan himself if he promised them a Supreme Court seat. I feel a lot of shame and sadness for them, same as I would feel as if they were duped into dumping their life savings into amway.

I guess Putin won after all. We’re so divided among ourselves, even our family, about things that used to be universally accepted. Now Russia can just walk right in and neutralize us and the party in charge of all three branches of government by hook and by crook doesn’t care because they won.

I think you're on to something here.

Which is one reason why I don't let it affect my family relationships.

I absolutely debate about it (so hard to avoid!), but then 'we agree to disagree' just so we can maintain good relations.
No way am I losing my mother or sister over Trump!

The other thing to mention, some of the nicest most "normal" people I know voted for him! And some of the most sophisticated people I know did as well (so-called sophistacates). So, it's at our own peril that we write these folks off as angry, bitter, uneducated Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I struggle with the same feelings about my pro-Trump family members. I tend to find common ground with everyone, but I just can’t with the whataboitism, naked racism, mindless support for the eradication of democratic and civil norms, and the frothing at the mouth hysteria at the mention of the word Hilary. See also the lying, the corruption, and the general lack of moral or personal integrity. I also think the Christians among them would vote for Satan himself if he promised them a Supreme Court seat. I feel a lot of shame and sadness for them, same as I would feel as if they were duped into dumping their life savings into amway.

I guess Putin won after all. We’re so divided among ourselves, even our family, about things that used to be universally accepted. Now Russia can just walk right in and neutralize us and the party in charge of all three branches of government by hook and by crook doesn’t care because they won.

I think you're on to something here.

Which is one reason why I don't let it affect my family relationships.

I absolutely debate about it (so hard to avoid!), but then 'we agree to disagree' just so we can maintain good relations.
No way am I losing my mother or sister over Trump!

The other thing to mention, some of the nicest most "normal" people I know voted for him! And some of the most sophisticated people I know did as well (so-called sophistacates). So, it's at our own peril that we write these folks off as angry, bitter, uneducated Americans.

Some people have the privilege and the ability to just say oh they're nice they just voted for someone so but there are a lot of people who is every day lives they are very life is affected by the policies that these people have put in place .
to put baby in a corner and just say it's just politics it's differing views know the things that people in power are doing to day affect people's lives , not just your pocketbook and your idea of what your family member shooter should not have voted for .
Again I say this kind of narrow it's all about me mindset is how we got to the place we are in t again I say this kind of narrow it's all about me mindset is how we got to the place we are in today.
Talk about , it call people out about it , vote about it stand up for it .
SMDH

[Anonymous]

Op, I am back and ready to conclude this on my end.

Your responses were hepful, and I feel more clear on this than I was.

I was concerned anout what my position should be if my family were actively supporting or excusing family separations. Hence the thought experiment about whether I would hang out with family members who were actual nazis.

Anyway, I asked some questions and they are not. I don't love where they are at, but they don't support family separations. So I am ok with going and let them know I don't plan to talk politics.

[Anonymous]

It's hard. My family is working class and I have a Ph.D. from an elite university. It's not all about formal education because my dad is largely self-educated and brilliant, but most of my family embrace the anti-intellectual working man thing. They are always trying to tell me I don't understand "how it really is" because I'm some effete intellectual, but we all grew up together. I know how they live, I understand the challenges in their lives. I think a lot of their arguments are ill informed or just wrong, but I also don't want to be a pedantic asshole-because who has ever changed their opinion after being lectured by a pendantic asshole. I usually say "either we can have a real conversation about this from the heart, or let's not talk about it at all." I try to avoid trading barbs back and forth, and if someone says something I find offensive I'll say something like "You know I'm a snowflake, so why don't you drop it unless you really want to get into it with me."