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If your family are trumpsters
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Anonymous
It's not about politics at this point. My family members aren't monsters. They will not vote for trump. |
Anonymous
| My MIL voted for Trump and openly supported him. She's white and I am not. After a decade of a strained relationship I stopped seeing my MIL about a year ago. I have no idea what she thinks about anything and I don't care. My eyes are open to her and I can't unsee or unheard her veiled hate. |
Anonymous
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Ughhhh....I feel for you. My MIL and FIL aren't exactly Trumpsters, but they support similar ideas, and I know my FIL was willing to vote for him. To me, it's a total moral failure.
However, my DH is close to them. Fortunately, they live multiple states away. I have to consciously choose to adopt a mental stance of cognitive dissonance to them. Because if I think of their views (that they are probably fine with family separation) I begin to loathe them for what I feel are morally repulsive views. So I consciously try not to think about it. I try to focus on their good qualities that DH loves. I absolutely do not engage them on current events. If need be, I leave. Fortunately they don't really talk a lot of politics, thank goodness. The times they have, has been a freaking disaster. I would never ever take a vacation with them, so god bless you and good luck! |
Anonymous
| I quit talking to these people a long time ago. Don't miss it a bit. |
Anonymous
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The only member of my family that voted for Trump is my grandfather, who is nearly 100. It was disappointing to me and most of our family but I am not going to end my relationship with him over it.
I have found that politically charged conversations among family, especially my DH's loud and outspoken extended family, are just too hard since 2016. Even though we all have similar views and values I feel like there tends to be blanket condemnation of huge groups of people, and/or just total despair over the state of things. We tend to have a better time when we just enjoy each other's company and talk about other things. |
Anonymous
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I had to de-friend them all on FB- I tried to explain that, while everyone has the right to their beliefs, I'm not going to be associated with certain statements. Some things they said are just downright wrong and frankly, embarrassing to me.
We don't talk about politics now-it leads to arguments because wrong is wrong and I know it will lead to an estrangement. |
Anonymous
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Op here. I checked in with my mom and sisters. One sister was doing a lot of moral equivocating. Good news: other sister wanted to know where she send money to help children! My mom said if she could go back in time, she would abstain from voting. Next up is my dad and I do not expect that to go well.
I am not totally happy with above. I heard fox or trump talking points from all of them, and they are all Christian mothers. My mom was an elementary teacher! |
Anonymous
Why do you need to check with anyone at all? If we’re talking about cutting off relatives, YOU’D be the annoying political jerk people should be interested in cutting off. Do you hear how completely annoying and insufferable you sound? |
Anonymous
I asked them a couple questions via text to ascertain their current thinking, to help me decide whether I can tolerate visiting them in a couple weeks. |
Anonymous
You're over involved. It sounds like your relationship with your family is dependent on politics which isn't healthy. They probably give you a line of bull just to shut you up. Or hopefully grow out of this nonsense. |
Anonymous
I'm the PP semi prepared to walk out of my July 4 week with my family and think you're OTT OP. My feelings on this issue are widely known in my family, I'm going to at least give them the opportunity to not start a giant family debacle over it. I feel like anyone proactively reaching out to family members to start drama pre-vacay is annoying and asking for trouble personally. |
Anonymous
I am just really upset and don't want to get more upset while I am there. |
Anonymous
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Op again. I was reaching out not for drama but to help make decision on this visit. Like, if they all said family separations were fine, I wouldn't go.
Instead they all basically said that it was bad, BUT. They'll all make great Nazis. The way I feel right now, I don't wanna go but still thinking it all over. |
Anonymous
The best way to make sure it is on everyone's minds and hanging in the air is to have a big set of pre-trip interventions about it. And you seem dissatisfied even when they're essentially meeting you halfway (ie, your mom saying she'd have abstained). I think you shouldn't go on the vacation. Clearly it will be on your mind and you are mad at them. If you don't think you can act like a normal person you shouldn't go. Going simply to start some giant political familial firestorm will just make you seem like a drama queen. If you decide not to go you'll send the same message with a lot less drama. |
Anonymous
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If pressed, they say they think it's awful. But then demonstrate they don't really know (care) much about it. Complacency when kids are being systematically torn from families??
I want outrage from these people who supposedly hold Christian values. |