Sending kids to live with their dad for a time

[Anonymous]

I'm sure some of you will say this is the obvious answer, but I just want to see if it indeed is.

I'm struggling to get a career off the ground, am dead broke (unemployed since December), and have two kids under five whom I'm with all the time. STBX sees them every 3-4 months. I have NO margin of error when it comes to money and am worried about sick/snow days etc when I find a new job.

STBX is well-established and well-liked in his office. He has a good job and access to resources where he lives. I am wondering if it would be best for the kids to live with him full-time for a year or so while I get on more solid footing.

[Anonymous]

Why are you living in different places? How far apart are you—how many hours by car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living in different places? How far apart are you—how many hours by car?

I posted a lot last year. STBX lives overseas (fed), and I had no chance of separating while there. It's ~12 hours of travel. He's just been promoted but tentatively plans to return to the US a year after the promotion is official. I don't have that kind of time.

[Anonymous]

Why is he not paying child support?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is he not paying child support?

He is, but it's not enough. It was kind of forced by the state to get me off the dole. If I ask for anything extra (recently, have asked for more for gas in my car and diapers) he gets pissed off, so I try not to go that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living in different places? How far apart are you—how many hours by car?

I posted a lot last year. STBX lives overseas (fed), and I had no chance of separating while there. It's ~12 hours of travel. He's just been promoted but tentatively plans to return to the US a year after the promotion is official. I don't have that kind of time.

Are you out of your f^ucking mind? You realize you will never get your kids back if you send them to live in another country. At that point, you operate according to the country's laws where he lives. Do not do this if you love your children. If you are done with them and just not willing to admit it, that's a different thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should. You don't seemed to be equipped to parent. Child support is a formula. Gas is not his responsibility. PT the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he not paying child support?

He is, but it's not enough. It was kind of forced by the state to get me off the dole. If I ask for anything extra (recently, have asked for more for gas in my car and diapers) he gets pissed off, so I try not to go that route.

No parents, friends, church, family? Nobody else to help you? Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he not paying child support?

He is, but it's not enough. It was kind of forced by the state to get me off the dole. If I ask for anything extra (recently, have asked for more for gas in my car and diapers) he gets pissed off, so I try not to go that route.

How much is he paying you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living in different places? How far apart are you—how many hours by car?

I posted a lot last year. STBX lives overseas (fed), and I had no chance of separating while there. It's ~12 hours of travel. He's just been promoted but tentatively plans to return to the US a year after the promotion is official. I don't have that kind of time.

Are you out of your f^ucking mind? You realize you will never get your kids back if you send them to live in another country. At that point, you operate according to the country's laws where he lives. Do not do this if you love your children. If you are done with them and just not willing to admit it, that's a different thing.

Umm he is the father. What is the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you should. You don't seemed to be equipped to parent. Child support is a formula. Gas is not his responsibility. PT the kids.

If he's paying the minimum for child support and she needs more money to care for the kids, it's his responsibility. He is obligated to his children to make sure they are in a stable situation. Diapers and gas is NOTHING. You are a pig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living in different places? How far apart are you—how many hours by car?

I posted a lot last year. STBX lives overseas (fed), and I had no chance of separating while there. It's ~12 hours of travel. He's just been promoted but tentatively plans to return to the US a year after the promotion is official. I don't have that kind of time.

Are you out of your f^ucking mind? You realize you will never get your kids back if you send them to live in another country. At that point, you operate according to the country's laws where he lives. Do not do this if you love your children. If you are done with them and just not willing to admit it, that's a different thing.

Umm he is the father. What is the big deal?

You're clearly a complete worthless idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you should. You don't seemed to be equipped to parent. Child support is a formula. Gas is not his responsibility. PT the kids.

I know it's a formula, but because he's overseas, they couldn't mandate that he pay the minimum required by the state I live in.

He pays 1050 a month. He's a GS-13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he not paying child support?

He is, but it's not enough. It was kind of forced by the state to get me off the dole. If I ask for anything extra (recently, have asked for more for gas in my car and diapers) he gets pissed off, so I try not to go that route.

No parents, friends, church, family? Nobody else to help you? Where do you live?

No. I really can't rely upon anyone, not consistently anyway.

I live in western Maryland. I came here for the low COL and because I have a close friend here. Everything was fine until I lost my job three months ago. Now I am seriously struggling. I may have to sell my engagement ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you should. You don't seemed to be equipped to parent. Child support is a formula. Gas is not his responsibility. PT the kids.

I know it's a formula, but because he's overseas, they couldn't mandate that he pay the minimum required by the state I live in.

He pays 1050 a month. He's a GS-13.

So he refuses to pay you the minimum? What do you think will happen once he has the kids in a different country? How cooperative do you think he'll be then?