Sending kids to live with their dad for a time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Get child care vouchers to pay for Daycare. Take him back for child care modification. You don’t need a lawyer

Social services told me that while he's overseas it's unenforceable, but I will look into that. I mailed in my application for childcare vouchers yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

[Anonymous]

The thing is OP, your kids in their short lives have lived through a very tumultuous marriage, then the break up of their family, then a move to another country, now unemployment. Sending them away for a year is just more instability and more change. Your kids need stability. If you need more help from their father to do that then move back to live closer to him and co-parent. Or stay here with the kids and work hard to get stable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

Do you see that you're more sentimental about a f^ucking ring than your own kids?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

Do you see that you're more sentimental about a f^ucking ring than your own kids?!

AND your whole relationship with your kids is hanging on what a social worker told you about what is and isn't enforceable, rather than asking a lawyer. It's mind-blowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

I'm a grown adult. I'm supposed to ask my family with money for money? I don't think so.

Don't get mad at me, I am just trying to figure out the best way forward. I am doing my best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

Do you see that you're more sentimental about a f^ucking ring than your own kids?!

AND your whole relationship with your kids is hanging on what a social worker told you about what is and isn't enforceable, rather than asking a lawyer. It's mind-blowing.

You try it. You f***ing try to do what I'm doing. I AM DOING MY BEST.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

I'm a grown adult. I'm supposed to ask my family with money for money? I don't think so.


Don't get mad at me, I am just trying to figure out the best way forward. I am doing my best!

I am not that poster but best believe, I would prostitution to provide for my kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

I'm a grown adult. I'm supposed to ask my family with money for money? I don't think so.

Don't get mad at me, I am just trying to figure out the best way forward. I am doing my best!

Yes, you ask your family for money. This is the stupidest thread ever. You have family members that can help, and you’re considering sending them overseas. You’re either a troll or beyond stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull your kids out of daycare. You aren’t working so why are they in Daycare?

I found a daycare so I can start working. He hasn't started yet. I have just found a PT job that pays minimum wage - obviously I am applying for higher paying work.

Why would you take a minimum wage job and pay for childcare? It makes no sense! You should be watching OTHER people's kids and getting paid more than minimum wage. I don't understand your logic at all, especially preschool. You could be a pet sitter and make more money than minimum. Hell, I pay my pet sitter $15 hour just to drop in for 30 minutes. Rover.com. Please rethink this before you lose your kids for good. this is going to sound harsh, but you sound more sentimental about the ring than you do your own kids. And making a move to MD without knowing for sure you'd get the support you need sounds like very bad judgement. I'm concerned about your judgement and planning. In a dire situation, you do not send a kid to preschool instead of feeding your family.

It's a means to an end. Better to have something coming in than nothing. I don't want o put my daughter through the upheaval of leaving a school then going back when I am in the process of getting a better paying job.

My friend suggested she would be helpful to me before I moved here. She got me the job I had and has helped with food and introducing me to people. I just don't have a localized support system, and the rest of my friends/family live in prohibitively expensive places (DC, Chicago, San Francisco) and this seemed like the best bet.

You don't want to put your daughter through the upheaval of leaving school, but you'll send her to another country????? You are lying and making excuses. You have family living in expensive places like DC, Chicago, and San Francisco, so they have MONEY and they're not helping you? WTF?? You are not asking them. Instead of asking for help from them, not wanting to make your EXdh mad, and not wanting to bother your friend (where you moved near her for the support), you're going to give up your own kids. That is what you're saying. DO YOU SEE THAT?!

I'm a grown adult. I'm supposed to ask my family with money for money? I don't think so.

Don't get mad at me, I am just trying to figure out the best way forward. I am doing my best!

Yes, you ask your family for money. This is the stupidest thread ever. You have family members that can help, and you’re considering sending them overseas. You’re either a troll or beyond stupid.

My family just isn't set up that way. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Wait are you the one that lives in a farmhouse or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait are you the one that lives in a farmhouse or something?

My friend is a farmer. So...close.

[Anonymous]

This is not a very supportive message board. It is good that you are asking here though. There may be 1 or 2 good ideas among all of the critics. Your post brought tears to my eyes because I was in a similar situation as a single mother.

1-Sell the ring. Try not to thing about how sad it is. Keep the cash and do not account for it in documentation for social services.

2-Call all of the church preschools and daycares in the area. Ask if you can volunteer in exchange for scholarships until your subsidy kicks in, during the hours you are not at your part time job.

3-Go to social services and ask to speak to a social worker about subsidized housing. Not the intake person.

4-Ask family for help.

5-If you have to send the kids to live with dad, that's what you have to do. You are in an awful predicament and there is not enough of a quick way out of it to give you other choices.