Is this strange? MIL and hospital
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Anonymous
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Tell me if I need to chill out here.
Late yesterday evening, my husband suffered an injury at work. Nothing serious, and actually pretty funny (if an injury can be funny), but his place of business obviously insisted he be seen at a hospital, because of the nature of the injury. Anyways, due to the general lack of severity, he was there for a long time in triage, and then a while longer being monitored and waiting to see a doc to be released. I would have gone up to sit with him, but I had the kids asleep in bed, and since it wasn't severe, I didn't call anyone to come watch them so I could go up. He was bored, so he was calling and texting co-workers to share a laugh. One person he called, apparently, was his mom (they both like to share a good story.) When he finally got home (well after 1am!) I asked him if he had slept or just sat there bored. He said no, his mom just showed up to sit with him. (She is nearly 1.5 hours away from the hospital, and has to drive right past our house to get there.) I'm truly bothered (not upset, really, just weirded out) that she didn't think that was more MY place, to be with my husband, and that she didn't offer to look after the kids so I could be with him instead. Am I thinking into it too much? |
Anonymous
| Yes, you're overthinking it. Her son was at the hospital alone, she offered to come keep him company and went. It wasn't life-threatening, so this was just about being with him. You're with him all the time. Presumably she is not. This is not a big deal, don't turn it into one. |
Anonymous
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Yes. This is a matter between a mother and her son. There was no need for her to go, but she did it because mothers do that sort of ridiculous thing. Let your husband cherish that (one day he may remember this fondly, after her passing) rather than make this about you.
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Anonymous
| Yes, if you wanted to sit with him, you could have, but you didn't make the effort. |
Anonymous
| My mom would do the same for my brother, don't worry about it. |
Anonymous
| It would have been more thoughtful for her to offer to watch the kids, but maybe she just didn't think of it, or thought it was too late to disturb you, or just really wanted to do it herself. My MIL would not have dreamed of not asking to watch the kids for me, but not everyone is wired that way. I'd let it go. |
Anonymous
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You're thinking into it too much. Look at it this way -- if she got the call from him last night that he was in the hospital, asked where you were, and then drove to your house to tell you "I'll stay with the kids so you can go be with your husband" after you had already decided to stay home with the kids because it wasn't an emergency, you would most definitely feel judged by her.
If you had wanted to be there and called her to watch the kids and she said no she needed to be with him, that's one thing. You didn't, and when she heard he was there she went to see him. |
Anonymous
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You are overthinking this. If your MIL had showed up at your house and kicked you out to go sit with your husband in the hospital, you probably would have felt judged by her and you would have been super annoyed if her presence had somehow woke up the kids...
Your husband was at the hospital alone, he told his mom about it and she went there to sit by his side and keep him company. That was sweet of her and 110% understandable. |
Anonymous
| No big deal. He probably told her there was no need for anyone to come, and you couldn't bc of the kids, and she did anyway just to hang out. |
Anonymous
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I have to laugh, because only mothers of sons would feel the need to drive 3 hours round trip at 1am to "be there for her baby boy!!!" who's in the hospital for some non-life-threatening reason. My mom would have been like, "Going to bed, call me in the AM."
I'm glad I have daughters. But sad they will have to deal with these MIL who can't cut the cord. |
Anonymous
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There is nothing strange about your MIL's actions. There is nothing to be bothered over or weirded out over.
You're way overreacting and yes, you do not to chill out. Hopefully it's just sleep deprivation twisting your thinking. Be glad your husband is fine. I would also suggest you don't mention these feelings of yours to your husband, because it would really reflect poorly on you. |
Anonymous
| You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well. |
Anonymous
Yeah, mothers n-e-v-e-r show up at the hospital when their daughters are in labor. Ever. Your girls must still be pretty young. It doesn't sound as though you've thought your position through very well.... |
Anonymous
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The intelligent way of dealing with this is to thank your MIL for sitting with your husband. It will defuse all thoughts in her head that she had to step in because you were neglecting your husband.
You're upset because you feel upstaged. Your brain is telling you that MIL behaved how you should have behaved, and that perhaps she is also judging you. So you can stop feeling offended right now, since MIL did nothing wrong and was actually sweet and helpful. |
Anonymous
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You are really over reacting. If you were interested in being there with him you would've had someone watch the kids. I'm sure had you called her she would've gladly helped. Don't make this into something it isn't. You are clearly jealous. Would you have been mad if a friend or co worker had gone to visit? Presumably not. I have a fairly decent relationship with my MIL and I hope that my future DIL's will be able to say the same. There's no point in making things a competition. Change your perspective and think-how nice that Bob's mom drove all the way up to see him and keep him company in the hospital. Sounds like they both like a good story and had a good time catching up. A very nice memory for them both to cherish.
As a mom of boys I pray I will have a DIL who still allows me to be mom. |