Is this strange? MIL and hospital

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The intelligent way of dealing with this is to thank your MIL for sitting with your husband. It will defuse all thoughts in her head that she had to step in because you were neglecting your husband.

You're upset because you feel upstaged. Your brain is telling you that MIL behaved how you should have behaved, and that perhaps she is also judging you.

So you can stop feeling offended right now, since MIL did nothing wrong and was actually sweet and helpful.
[/quote

This!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well.

This.

You would have been happier if he had no one there at all with him?

[Anonymous]

Why are you competing with his mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well.

I didn't call and ask because I found out at 9pm that he was there, and she's, like I said, 1.5 hours away! And like I said, I WOULD have gone up, but I didn't see the need to inconvienence people for a non-emergency.

I'm not upset, but like one PP said, yes, it would have been thoughtful of her to just ASK if I cared to go up there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well.

I didn't call and ask because I found out at 9pm that he was there, and she's, like I said, 1.5 hours away! And like I said, I WOULD have gone up, but I didn't see the need to inconvienence people for a non-emergency.

I'm not upset, but like one PP said, yes, it would have been thoughtful of her to just ASK if I cared to go up there.

DP

You're splitting hairs. You say you're not upset, but you say you're "truly bothered" and "weirded out." And you started a thread about it.

I get why you didn't ask his mom to babysit. It was late, she was far away, your husband was fine. But this is truly nothing for you to spend time worrying over, which you are. Just let it go.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed OP. My DH's parents tried to do this back when we had a newborn and DH needed surgery. I asked if they would stay with the baby while I went with DH and they said "No...we need to be with him, you need to be with the baby." I had to hire someone for the day. Absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well.

I didn't call and ask because I found out at 9pm that he was there, and she's, like I said, 1.5 hours away! And like I said, I WOULD have gone up, but I didn't see the need to inconvienence people for a non-emergency.

I'm not upset, but like one PP said, yes, it would have been thoughtful of her to just ASK if I cared to go up there.

DP

You're splitting hairs. You say you're not upset, but you say you're "truly bothered" and "weirded out." And you started a thread about it.

I get why you didn't ask his mom to babysit. It was late, she was far away, your husband was fine. But this is truly nothing for you to spend time worrying over, which you are. Just let it go.

Point taken. I will chill out. Thanks everyone!

[Anonymous]

The only reason it would make sense to be upset here is if you already have some underlying issues with your MIL. Sounds like your DH is close to his mom, and they like talking to each other. Probably she saw this as an opportunity to keep him company and enjoy a little alone time with him...something that makes a lot of sense if they are close.

If you need someone to blame, blame your DH for not suggesting that she watch the kids so you could come instead...but honestly, that seems silly. You probably went to bed or otherwise relaxed in your own home. If your MIL came to watch the kids, she'd just be sitting up uncomfortably somewhere else with no one to talk to. Frankly, I think what actually occurred is a much better outcome for all: DH got some alone time with his mom and company from someone he doesn't see as frequently, you got to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and MIL got some quality time with her DS.

People have posted some crazy MIL stories here before, but this is not one of them by any stretch.

[Anonymous]

I was home with a toddler and an infant when my dh was at the emergency room for an about-to-burst appendix. I don't even like my mil, and I would have liked for her to be able to be with him through that. I think you need to rethink this one and reframe it in your mind as other pp's have suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed OP. My DH's parents tried to do this back when we had a newborn and DH needed surgery. I asked if they would stay with the baby while I went with DH and they said "No...we need to be with him, you need to be with the baby." I had to hire someone for the day. Absurd.

But this isn't the same thing. Op didn't ask! Had she asked this would've played out differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to laugh, because only mothers of sons would feel the need to drive 3 hours round trip at 1am to "be there for her baby boy!!!" who's in the hospital for some non-life-threatening reason. My mom would have been like, "Going to bed, call me in the AM."

I'm glad I have daughters. But sad they will have to deal with these MIL who can't cut the cord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed OP. My DH's parents tried to do this back when we had a newborn and DH needed surgery. I asked if they would stay with the baby while I went with DH and they said "No...we need to be with him, you need to be with the baby." I had to hire someone for the day. Absurd.

This is a totally different scenario! OP didn't want to go to the hospital, because it was a minor injury and he was just sitting around, bored, waiting to be seen and then being observed. That's not a judgment, it's what she said. You did want to go, it was a surgery, and your MIL refused to facilitate your being with your husband and told you it was her place, not yours. Those are not comparable scenarios.

OP, be honest: if your doorbell had rung at 11pm last night and it was your MIL saying, "I'm here now, you can go be with your husband" you would have posted today about what a judgmental interfering B your MIL was. You just don't like her, she didn't do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to laugh, because only mothers of sons would feel the need to drive 3 hours round trip at 1am to "be there for her baby boy!!!" who's in the hospital for some non-life-threatening reason. My mom would have been like, "Going to bed, call me in the AM."

I'm glad I have daughters. But sad they will have to deal with these MIL who can't cut the cord.

Yeah, mothers n-e-v-e-r show up at the hospital when their daughters are in labor. Ever.

Your girls must still be pretty young. It doesn't sound as though you've thought your position through very well....

That's really a stretch and you know it.

Would my mom show up for me breaking an arm or a concussion or getting stitches? Of course not!

Would she come to wait for the birth of her grandchild, of course! But so would my sisters and dad and best friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to laugh, because only mothers of sons would feel the need to drive 3 hours round trip at 1am to "be there for her baby boy!!!" who's in the hospital for some non-life-threatening reason. My mom would have been like, "Going to bed, call me in the AM."

I'm glad I have daughters. But sad they will have to deal with these MIL who can't cut the cord.

Yeah, mothers n-e-v-e-r show up at the hospital when their daughters are in labor. Ever.

Your girls must still be pretty young. It doesn't sound as though you've thought your position through very well....

I have three boys and two girls. My oldest two are married. I would absolutely drive a couple of hours to be with any of them if they were hospitalized, especially if they were at the ER alone. But then, my kids' spouses would have found a way to be at the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Op you weren't wrong for not going to the hospital and Mil was not wrong in going.