Is this strange? MIL and hospital

[Anonymous]

She was extremely excited at the opportunity to "mother" him, especially over something non life threatening.

I'd cut her some slack.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing she rarely gets to see him alone. He was bored, she got to spend some time with him on his own. Win-win, I don't see the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well.

I didn't call and ask because I found out at 9pm that he was there, and she's, like I said, 1.5 hours away! And like I said, I WOULD have gone up, but I didn't see the need to inconvienence people for a non-emergency.

I'm not upset, but like one PP said, yes, it would have been thoughtful of her to just ASK if I cared to go up there.

Your MIL did nothing wrong, Op. Calling you late at night to find out if you wanted to go to the hospital to sit with your husband in a non-emergency situation would have come across as super pushy on her part. If you had wanted her help YOU should have asked her for it. Or if your husband had wanted you to be there with him at the hospital instead HE should have arranged for his mom to go to your house to watch the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed OP. My DH's parents tried to do this back when we had a newborn and DH needed surgery. I asked if they would stay with the baby while I went with DH and they said "No...we need to be with him, you need to be with the baby." I had to hire someone for the day. Absurd.

You were mad they want to be with their son? I would have hired someone too and all of us would have been there. But my family is close like that. My Mom is in a wheelchair and lives 900 miles away and flew in to be with me for knee surgery. So at the hospital it was DH, MOM, 14 year old DD, my brother and BFF. Some parents love their children even into adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed OP. My DH's parents tried to do this back when we had a newborn and DH needed surgery. I asked if they would stay with the baby while I went with DH and they said "No...we need to be with him, you need to be with the baby." I had to hire someone for the day. Absurd.

As my kids are getting older, I sympathize with my MIL more as I could be one before I know it. Of course, I would want to be with my grandchild but I'd also want to be there if one of my children were having surgery - especially if complications could potentially arise. Of course, the spouse would be the final decision maker but I hope she'd/he'd consult us. Of course, that was never an issue with my MIL bc she's super lazy and doesn't like to leave her house so even when her son (my dh) has surgery and treatments for cancer, she didn't show up. But to the pp, I can see why your in laws wanted to be there. My kids will always be my kids and I'll always show up for them even when I'm not in charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be pissed OP. My DH's parents tried to do this back when we had a newborn and DH needed surgery. I asked if they would stay with the baby while I went with DH and they said "No...we need to be with him, you need to be with the baby." I had to hire someone for the day. Absurd.

Honestly though, it makes sense that they would have wanted to be with him. It sounds like you don't have family of your own nearby to ask, but I don't think it was wrong of them to want to be there, even if you had a newborn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have called and asked her to babysit if you thought it was YOUR place so much. But you didn't feel the need to sit with him, until you heard that she had. Stop competing and be thankful he has family to look after him as well.

I didn't call and ask because I found out at 9pm that he was there, and she's, like I said, 1.5 hours away! And like I said, I WOULD have gone up, but I didn't see the need to inconvienence people for a non-emergency.

I'm not upset, but like one PP said, yes, it would have been thoughtful of her to just ASK if I cared to go up there.

Your MIL did nothing wrong, Op. Calling you late at night to find out if you wanted to go to the hospital to sit with your husband in a non-emergency situation would have come across as super pushy on her part. If you had wanted her help YOU should have asked her for it. Or if your husband had wanted you to be there with him at the hospital instead HE should have arranged for his mom to go to your house to watch the kids.

I didn't want her help. I would have said no, and went to bed. I wouldn't have cared less if she went herself, and I really don't care that she did. All I was wondering if it was weird for a mom to drive 1.5 hours at 9pm for this reason. Now I see it wasn't, and I'm over it.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My mil would've done the same thing. I do t think it's weird and I think it's obnoxious that you are being territorial bc you think it's your place.

She has the freedom, resources, and ability to keep her son company. She did it without bothering or inconveniencing or even blaming you for not informing her. You are creating problems rather than appreciating what you have.

[Anonymous]

She was probably taking advantage of the fact that she had a captive audience.

[Anonymous]

You're over-thinking it, and sound like you don't like her/are being selfish.

It's much easier and more fun for an older lady to chat with her adult son than to watch a bunch of grandkids.

If you had really wanted to be with your husband, you would have ***asked her for help*** or ***hired a babysitter*** or made other arrangements. But you didn't.

So get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to laugh, because only mothers of sons would feel the need to drive 3 hours round trip at 1am to "be there for her baby boy!!!" who's in the hospital for some non-life-threatening reason. My mom would have been like, "Going to bed, call me in the AM."

I'm glad I have daughters. But sad they will have to deal with these MIL who can't cut the cord.

Yeah, mothers n-e-v-e-r show up at the hospital when their daughters are in labor. Ever.

Your girls must still be pretty young. It doesn't sound as though you've thought your position through very well....

That's really a stretch and you know it.

Would my mom show up for me breaking an arm or a concussion or getting stitches? Of course not!

Would she come to wait for the birth of her grandchild, of course! But so would my sisters and dad and best friends!

I think it was less about what his injury was, and more about the chance to spend some time with him alone. If she lived 90 minutes away, that probably doesn't happen all that often. In general, daughters tend to do more to maintain their relationship with their parents. I can't imagine a guy posting here griping that his mil or FIL drove out of their way to keep their dd company in the ER.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree that the 1.5 hour drive there at 9pm, and the 1.5 hour drive home at 1am are weird. DCUM, come on, that SCREAMS overly obsessed mom! As someone else said, she just couldn't help herself and had to step back into that mom role.

I wouldn't be mad, but yeah, that's weird and mom is desperate, bless her heart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to agree that the 1.5 hour drive there at 9pm, and the 1.5 hour drive home at 1am are weird. DCUM, come on, that SCREAMS overly obsessed mom! As someone else said, she just couldn't help herself and had to step back into that mom role.

I wouldn't be mad, but yeah, that's weird and mom is desperate, bless her heart!

The mom is desperate for answering her son's call for attention while hospitalized?

OP says her husband contacted several people while he was there. He obviously wanted some attention, and his mom gave it to him. A three hour roundtrip drive is more than I'd do for a minor injury, but it was sweet of his mom to squeeze in some family time while he was feeling needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to agree that the 1.5 hour drive there at 9pm, and the 1.5 hour drive home at 1am are weird. DCUM, come on, that SCREAMS overly obsessed mom! As someone else said, she just couldn't help herself and had to step back into that mom role.

I wouldn't be mad, but yeah, that's weird and mom is desperate, bless her heart!

The mom is desperate for answering her son's call for attention while hospitalized?

OP says her husband contacted several people while he was there. He obviously wanted some attention, and his mom gave it to him. A three hour roundtrip drive is more than I'd do for a minor injury, but it was sweet of his mom to squeeze in some family time while he was feeling needy.

OP says he called people to talk and joke around about the accident. His mom could have talked from the comfort of home for hours. She took it to the next level by making a crazy drive in the middle of the night. That's weird. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

No one did anything wrong.

Your MIL is an empty nester and has more time to just jump up and head to the hospital (even if it is 1.5 hours away) to be with her son. She did this because it was a non-serious injury and he was bored. Had it been serious, she probably would have called you and offered to come to your house and sit with the kids while they slept so that you could go to the hospital. But there was no reason for you to be there for a non-serious injury. She was only there to keep him company. In this situation, it was more important for you to be with your children. While your MIL can do general care for her grandchildren, if one of them woke and you have a particular routine or something you do, it is best that you were with your children. Your husband was just sitting and waiting for less urgent care that didn't require any particular assistance.