Husband just threw a pillow at me

[Anonymous]

I've been trying to keep everything together in hopes that this can somehow work. I asked him to get the baby and put him back to sleep. On the way out of the bedroom he ran into a pillow and threw it on me (I was in bed). When he came back I said "do you realize you threw a pillow on me?" He said "yeah, don't leave it in the walkway!" I said "Do you realize you threw it on me?" He said "well, you smacked me to get up with the baby" (not true! I nudged his arm.) I was just trying to get him to acknowledge what he did, but it seems (a) that he knew what he did and (b) he didn't care.

There's a history of emotional abuse I was trying to ensure but this is a bridge too far for me.

[Anonymous]

It's a pillow FFS!

[Anonymous]

Is this a joke? It sounds like you hit him first too.

[Anonymous]

Get some sleep, and think about it more in the morning.

Honestly, it really depends on how he threw the pillow. Did he just toss it on the bed and you just happened to be there? Did he throw it at you in a raging manner? Are you all on the edge because of the baby and sleep deprivation? Does he have a history of throwing things and raging when he is angry? Are you going to feel ok telling your kid later on that his dad is not around because he threw a pillow?

These are all things to think about after you have had some sleep.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did not hit him. He knew where I was laying and he threw it with force. Furthermore, he didn't apologize - he told me I shouldn't have left it in the walkway.

[Anonymous]

Then don't leave pillows in the middle of the hallway! Sounds like it was your fault.

[Anonymous]

You are both baby tired.
Keep the complaints to things that genuinely matter. Be kind to one another, speak nicely to one another and take turns getting extra sleep.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, get the F out now. Advise I wish i had taken. I promise you this is just the beginning. Take your baby and get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did not hit him. He knew where I was laying and he threw it with force. Furthermore, he didn't apologize - he told me I shouldn't have left it in the walkway.

Did he throw it AT you? Was he even looking at you, or did he just throw the pillow back onto the bed?

Furthermore, I will never understand how people put pillows on the floor, and then back on the beds where they sleep. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Nope. If you are a male, you do not get to be violent with me- I don't care if it's a pillow or an apple, whatever- it can all hurt like hell when thrown fast.

I would be making moves to get out. He is already emotionally abusive, sounds like he's escalating to physicality now. Don't wait, you know what you should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, get the F out now. Advise I wish i had taken. I promise you this is just the beginning. Take your baby and get out.

Can't just leave, just think he might throw a pillow at someone else in the future. Call the cops. Call a SWAT team.

What if you were allergic to the pillow?!? You could have DIED. You are lucky you got through this alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If you are a male, you do not get to be violent with me- I don't care if it's a pillow or an apple, whatever- it can all hurt like hell when thrown fast.

I would be making moves to get out. He is already emotionally abusive, sounds like he's escalating to physicality now. Don't wait, you know what you should do.

Drama queen. Advocating for divorce after a thrown (likely tossed) pillow? I imagine you're still single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If you are a male, you do not get to be violent with me- I don't care if it's a pillow or an apple, whatever- it can all hurt like hell when thrown fast.

I would be making moves to get out. He is already emotionally abusive, sounds like he's escalating to physicality now. Don't wait, you know what you should do.

Oh puh-lease. You cannot break up your marriage while you are both crazy from baby sleep deprivation because someone threw a PILLOW. God, I would have been divorced so long ago if I listened to advice like this. Just because your husband is aggravated and you had a fight does not mean that there is "abuse" in the marriage. Sometimes things get better, and every marriage is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If you are a male, you do not get to be violent with me- I don't care if it's a pillow or an apple, whatever- it can all hurt like hell when thrown fast.

I would be making moves to get out. He is already emotionally abusive, sounds like he's escalating to physicality now. Don't wait, you know what you should do.

+1

You say he's emotionally abusive, OP. It sounds like you already know

[Anonymous]

I once had my ex pull the pillow out from under me and put it over my face. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I don't want to minimize the emotional abuse. Was your current dh the perpetrator of this emotional abuse? If so, why are you with him and why did you have a child with him? If he was not, I think you are both horribly sleep deprived but may want to look into couples counseling for coping skills.