Husband just threw a pillow at me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had my ex pull the pillow out from under me and put it over my face. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I don't want to minimize the emotional abuse. Was your current dh the perpetrator of this emotional abuse? If so, why are you with him and why did you have a child with him? If he was not, I think you are both horribly sleep deprived but may want to look into couples counseling for coping skills.

He's been emotionally abusive for years. I thought it wasn't that bad for a while because my prior relationship was extremely violent. I was in love with him anyway, but then I found out he cheated (I was already pregnant when I found out). Now I'm filled with rage. He treats me with disrespect on a regular basis. This is the last straw for me.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it was your last pillow, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had my ex pull the pillow out from under me and put it over my face. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I don't want to minimize the emotional abuse. Was your current dh the perpetrator of this emotional abuse? If so, why are you with him and why did you have a child with him? If he was not, I think you are both horribly sleep deprived but may want to look into couples counseling for coping skills.

He's been emotionally abusive for years. I thought it wasn't that bad for a while because my prior relationship was extremely violent. I was in love with him anyway, but then I found out he cheated (I was already pregnant when I found out). Now I'm filled with rage. He treats me with disrespect on a regular basis. This is the last straw for me.

You answered the question. Get you and your baby some place sage and get counseling!! It took a lot of counseling for me to be okay. And I am now married to an amazing man! But I could not have gotten my life back together without that counseling.

[Anonymous]

You are asking someone who can't control their anger to take care of your child? Why? I'd be getting the baby myself while I figured the rest out. He could shake or hurt the baby and you are worried about a damn pillow?

[Anonymous]

Why was there a pillow in the hallway? That's odd for starters.

Op - are you on maternity leave or sahm? Is your dh back at work? Is he resentful about either of those?
Do you have an agreement about who does the night shift?

[Anonymous]

Your marriage is over OP. I'm so sorry. Ask me how I know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If you are a male, you do not get to be violent with me- I don't care if it's a pillow or an apple, whatever- it can all hurt like hell when thrown fast.

I would be making moves to get out. He is already emotionally abusive, sounds like he's escalating to physicality now. Don't wait, you know what you should do.

From the op I assumed she meant she had a history of emotionally abusing him. Or us, the readers of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If you are a male, you do not get to be violent with me- I don't care if it's a pillow or an apple, whatever- it can all hurt like hell when thrown fast.

I would be making moves to get out. He is already emotionally abusive, sounds like he's escalating to physicality now. Don't wait, you know what you should do.

From the op I assumed she meant she had a history of emotionally abusing him. Or us, the readers of this thread.

Perhaps you're dumb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are asking someone who can't control their anger to take care of your child? Why? I'd be getting the baby myself while I figured the rest out. He could shake or hurt the baby and you are worried about a damn pillow?

I would worry about the pillow AND about the anger issues, which are really the same thing. OP, you deserve so much better. I'm sorry he has done this to you. Sending you a hug

[Anonymous]

Pick up your damn pillows, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are asking someone who can't control their anger to take care of your child? Why? I'd be getting the baby myself while I figured the rest out. He could shake or hurt the baby and you are worried about a damn pillow?

I would worry about the pillow AND about the anger issues, which are really the same thing. OP, you deserve so much better. I'm sorry he has done this to you. Sending you a hug

+1

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your marriage is unhealthy and unhappy. Please seek couples counseling to work through the anger and emotional issues, for your own sake and for your child's.

[Anonymous]

I'd get out and contact the police. This is assault and battery, and domestic abuse. The police MUST arrest him for this if you report it, and I definitely would.

This is an indicator that he is prone to violence, and frankly, he should be in jail. How long is up to him. If he gets help, maybe he should receive a short sentence. If not, well, then he doesn't need to get out, period. It's not like there's a shortage of men out there.

Point is, he's clearly violent and out of control. Today it was a pillow, tomorrow he might be shooting you and your child. That is completely within the realm of possibility and you need to deal with him according

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your marriage is unhealthy and unhappy. Please seek couples counseling to work through the anger and emotional issues, for your own sake and for your child's.

Agreed. Does your husband have a history of anger issues, OP?

[backwater204]

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