Workings parents of two -- how do you do it?

[Anonymous]

We have a 3.5 yo and 3.5 month old. Feel like no matter how much help we have, we are drowning in the daily work of staying afloat. Feeding both kids and ourselves, getting everyone dressed and bathed, keeping the house stocked with food and supplies, remembering to get clothes etc. for the kids... no matter how organized I try to be, there's like a million items on both mine and my partner's to-do list and it never ends. Is this normal, or are we missing something? How does everyone do it? We both work in fields where we need to carve out some mental space to get things done. Feels a bit Sisyphean at the moment.

[Anonymous]

We sold our condo in DC, moved to the suburbs, DW quit her full time job and works part time now, and we cut the cost of daycare because DS attends a co-op now. We are stretching a bit financially, but we are much happier and have a lot more time at home and with each other.

[Anonymous]

We have a fantastic nanny, and we have cleaning people twice a week. That's how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We sold our condo in DC, moved to the suburbs, DW quit her full time job and works part time now, and we cut the cost of daycare because DS attends a co-op now. We are stretching a bit financially, but we are much happier and have a lot more time at home and with each other.

OK... should have specified, short of getting a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a fantastic nanny, and we have cleaning people twice a week. That's how.

How does this work, may I ask? What hours do you have the nanny? Cleaning people twice a week -- presumably you still need to do dishes and cook?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a fantastic nanny, and we have cleaning people twice a week. That's how.

How does this work, may I ask? What hours do you have the nanny? Cleaning people twice a week -- presumably you still need to do dishes and cook?

Np. Use paper plates.

[Anonymous]

Peapod or Amazon or other delivery for diapers and groceries. You will get into a rhythm. Be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Parenting is relentless at those ages. We got through it by lowering our standards and shrinking our world (not trying to do as much). It will get better and easier as they get older, and we felt our world expanding again as we had more space and time that wasn't sucked up by the kids. Be kind to yourself and your partner, and just do your best!

[Anonymous]

I found a new job I could walk to. Pay cut was worth the time saved. And it gets so much easier when the little one is sleeping

[Anonymous]

Honestly, we just got through it. Simple simple. Turkey sandwiches for dinner a lot of nights. Messy house, laundry never put away. We eventually hired every other week cleaners. I prioritized sleep.

3.5 is a tough tough age--in six months your lives will likely be a lot better, then in six months again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenting is relentless at those ages. We got through it by lowering our standards and shrinking our world (not trying to do as much). It will get better and easier as they get older, and we felt our world expanding again as we had more space and time that wasn't sucked up by the kids. Be kind to yourself and your partner, and just do your best!

Exactly this. Very well said, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a fantastic nanny, and we have cleaning people twice a week. That's how.

How does this work, may I ask? What hours do you have the nanny? Cleaning people twice a week -- presumably you still need to do dishes and cook?

Nanny is 8-6pm. Handles receiving food deliveries and does some non-child related errands each week (we agreed on this at the start of employment - I think it's no more than four a week?). Does all kid-laundry. Cleaning people do all sheets & towels. Only laundry DH and I do is our own clothes.

DH loves to cook. It's how he relaxes. We clean up together. It's not a big deal. The kids eat the leftovers the following night for their dinner (they eat earlier than we do).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, we just got through it. Simple simple. Turkey sandwiches for dinner a lot of nights. Messy house, laundry never put away. We eventually hired every other week cleaners. I prioritized sleep.

3.5 is a tough tough age--in six months your lives will likely be a lot better, then in six months again.

This is my motto exactly! We have an 8 month old & 3.5 year old and we both work FT out of the house. I have zero time to run errands, laundry is everywhere, I feel like we are constantly cleaning or trying to declutter. We are doing every other week cleaners. I still cook almost every night but I have moved to using paper plates especially when my dishwasher is full of clean dishes!

[Anonymous]

I don't feel like it gets much easier as they get older.

[Anonymous]

It's all about survival until the second is 1. I don't even remember half the stuff that happened during that year. 'Y second didn't sleep, don't know how I kept my job. So much better after he was sleeping. After the second is 1 it's so much easier. Although now we are dealing with a crazy 18 month old and a threenager but at least we are getting a full nights sleep.