Workings parents of two -- how do you do it?
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Anonymous
| I have a 3+ yo and an 11mo baby. The first three months back at work after the baby nearly did me in. (3-6) Clutter everywhere, takeout/ pizza a lot of nights, exhaustion. We do have cleaners every other week and a nanny. Baby started sleeping through the night at 6 mo and it took me a couple of months to recover from it all. I've finally been feeling back to myself for the past few months. The mornings and weekends are still crazy and non-stop, but we're better rested, so we're in better shape. |
Anonymous
| We do delivery groceries (instacart and google, which does bulk items through Costco). Also utilize Amazon. We also cook a lot at once and freeze a couple meals -- have homemade burgers, lasagnas, curry (thanks, crock pot), etc. We also hired cleaners twice a month and have a schedule for cleaning in between -- we alternate and it doesn't take long at all when dividing room/laundry duties. We reorganized our house so everything had a space (basket in living room and family room for toys, elfa closet systems for clothes/shoes)...got rid of excess. We cut back on bathing of kids, but that isn't sustainable when sunscreen is a factor; now we do one day of quick tub with soap and washcloth, another when we wash hair. The older your youngest gets the easier it will be -- take tiny steps to simplify and trade off with Dh so you both get some down time. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks so much. It helps to know that this is just a moment, and things will ease up.
Reading through these I also see that maybe I need to adjust my expectations work-wise/home-wise and try to do less. I have been to three conferences since baby was born and we did an international trip to see family abroad. Our first nanny seemed great at first but ended up having a mental breakdown for personal reasons and so we have had to go through the hiring process again. We are still not done with that, because due to above situation had to take a summer person temporarily until we find someone longterm. When I write this out I realize I'm crazy to think that things should be settled and we should have normal work/home lives at the moment. On the other hand, there is always something... guess I am just wondering if we are missing some key to making it all more functional. |
Anonymous
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It gets easier. We have a great nanny, outsource house cleaning, DH cooks healthy dinners and we make most meals last two nights. I work from home at least twice a week - if you can ask for any telecommuting days it's huge.
I quit the gym after my second and work out at home or outside - so much more efficient. As kids get older, they start doing chores and it's great. My oldest helps with putting away laundry and packing lunches. |
Anonymous
| I wish I had a cooking husband like you guys do! |
Anonymous
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One flexible job with a day working at home.
Two parents with regular hours who contribute equally at home and parenting. Cleaning service. Amazon prime. Peapod. Wine and coffee. |
Anonymous
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Staggered schedules.. I got up super early and was at work at 6. DH got kids to daycare/school. I picked up from aftercare and had dinner ready when he got home later.
And as many have said fairly low standards. |
Anonymous
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And people are Surprised that others are jealous of stay at home parents.
All of this sounds like hell. |
Anonymous
It's what families must do in order for a woman to be self actualized and not just responsible for cooking, cleaning and minding the children. |
Anonymous
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The right help is key. In addition to day-to-day kid care/chores, our kids' nanny does their laundry, washes our sheets and towels, does the dishes, buys groceries, cooks dinners, and will tidy up toys/living room etc when need be. DD (3.5 y.o.) is in half-time pre-school, and their nanny also does drop-off/pick-up. DS (10 mos) has some delays, and she also diligently does his PT exercises with him during the day. We have bi-weekly house cleaning, which is enough to prevent total chaos...but our house is less neat than I'd prefer. She works 8-5:30/6:30 depending on the day.
In many ways, I would say their nanny takes on much of the role of a SAHP. Not everyone would be okay with that, but it works for us. We love her, and so do our kids. It helps that my job is WAH and not much travel, but I don't think it makes a huge difference since their nanny does so much. The biggest benefit is not having to commute, which gives me time to work out while we have childcare. |
Anonymous
| ^^PP again. We heavily utilize Target and Amazon subscriptions, also. There are so many things I just don't need to think about buying, because they arrive monthly at our doorstep. Signing up for those was one of the best things I ever did, seriously. |
Anonymous
| ^^PP again. We heavily utilize Target and Amazon subscriptions, also. There are so many things I just don't need to think about buying, because they arrive monthly at our doorstep. Signing up for those was one of the best things I ever did, seriously. |
Anonymous
I think being a SAH parent seems like hell. But I respect that others have different circumstances and make other decisions. And actually I don't think you read the thread. Many posting have flexibility and $$$$ to outsource. |
Anonymous
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cleaning service, weekly who will also do laundry. Food delivery, but one where the meals are pretty much already completed and ready to eat.
Anyway to telework at least one day a week. Try to tighten up the routine in the morning if you haven't already. My four year does not go downstairs until fully dressed. We brush her teeth in the downstairs bathroom after breakfast to cut down on one extra sidetrack trip up the stairs. I make a bunch of PB and J sandwiches at one time, she eats them all week of lunch. |
Anonymous
| We're not rich so unlike other PPs, we just deal and hope that it gets better. Mine are 1 and 4 so a similar age difference to yours and I agree it was SO ROUGH especially since the baby had colic for the first four months. It's better now but having a toddler has its own challenges - she gets into everything!!!! I can only hope it continues to get better because we are miserable right now. |