Anyone else still madly in love with their husband?

[Anonymous]

I get so sad reading the threads about struggling marriages and mothers who are dealing with husbands who don't "get it."

When I think about it, most of my friends are in very comfortable, companion-like marriages with flashes of romance. A few are struggling or in a predictable and apparently acceptable cycle of friendship and mutual ignoring when they're pissed.

I'm still utterly smitten with my husband and by all appearances, it's mutual. Really can't resist kissing him, miss him just as much as DD when we part ways each morning, and never tire of spending time together, to the point where he has to push me out the door for "girl time" with my buddies. I get all mushy when I roll over and see him sleeping next to me.

Our daughter is 5; I can't imagine all of this changing and hope it doesn't.

Am I alone here?

[Anonymous]

Not to be snarky, but what is your point in starting this thread? If you're so smitten with your hubby, why not give tips and advice to the ladies who are struggling with their relationships?

[Anonymous]

You are not alone. I am married to an amazing guy. The truth is, the more our friends have kids and the more I see what cr@ppy dads and partners they can be, the deeper in love I fall with my husband. After 12 years, I think our love is in a deep simmer, especially with a toddler and another on the way, but it doesn't change how much I want to hold his hand, hear his voice, or just be by his side.

[Anonymous]

Me too.

I feel sad for some of these posters. It sounds so miserable.

I have no advice for them. I don't "do" anything to make spark passion and romance in our relationship. It has always just been there. We've been together 11 years and literally the second we laid eyes on each other-that was it. I was in a year long relationship and I abrubtly broke it off with the guy. We talked about spending the rest of our lives together after just a few weeks.

I do think our main ingredient for success is respect. I have never called him a nasty name and he has never spoken nasty to me. I think we have a gut instinct for each other, when an issue is REALLY important to one of us, the other completely backs down. It is constantly a give and take that is fairly balanced. When one of us has a problem with the other, we just sit down and talk about it like normal people and come to an understanding.

Some of our friends have commented that because we don't fight, it is not healthy, sometimes it is followed by some strange logic that our kids will somehow be disadvantaged by never seeing their parents fight, maybe we should do fake fights to prepare our chidlren? We could practice a script and pick a Friday evening to verbally duke it out in front of the tots? Of COURSE we disagree, but before it escalates and explodes into anger or resentment, we resolve it.

[Anonymous]

I wish.

I mostly like and love my husband, but madly in love? Lust? Attraction? Unfortunately not.

[Anonymous]

Thanks OP. Your pity was just what I needed today. You rock!

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP and I've been married 22 years. No secret that I can think. We do have a very balanced non gender specific relationship when it comes to making money, doing household chores and child rearing. I think that helps a lot in keeping any friction away - lots of the unhappy people on this board seem to be in relationships where they resent their spouse. When you can eliminate this friction it's a lot easier to focus on all the positive things in each other.

[Anonymous]

i'm one of those women who's very happily married, but even so, i find the attitude from those gloating about their great marriages and the pity they feel for all those people in miserable marriages very distasteful and childish. just be happy you have a happy marriage and tell your husband how you feel, but i can assure you that announcing such sentiments to others comes across as very irritating and pointless.

[Anonymous]

Why is it ok to bitch and whine on this forum without offering any insight or advice but it's not ok to post positive stories? Maybe if people didn't wallow in their misery and feed on negativity, things might turn around. OP, I don't think your post was offensive at all. I am very much in love with DH. I do feel bad for friends that are having problems but that's not the same as looking down on them. People need to stop being so damn defensive around here.

[Anonymous]

The OP's post is gloating. It does not offer any tips or amazing insight. It serves no purpose but to make her feel superior and to make the people who are not in a successful marriage feel bad.

[Anonymous]

I'm beginning to feel bad for the husbands. They have to live with these critial bitches. YIKES! I think happiness even make them unhappy.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's gloating. I think it's just a reminder that hey, not everyone is as miserable as you pp.

[Anonymous]

I don't resent the OP at all. I just reinforces my idea that there are some great men out there. My husband has absolutely no respect for me (one example: he created an account on a dating website, and told me that it was just to see pics of women when Iconfronted him about it). I refuse to be cynical about my problems and pretty much blame myself for making the wrong choice years ago. I am still youngg though, I will move on with dignity and hope that there's someone out there for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, i'm with you. I am still madly in love with my husband, and I agree, its perfectly fine to talk about it. Why always have to complain on this board? As for how we make it work so well? We're best friends, we split pretty much all $ and chores and decisions. I have to admit, we rely on each other an awful lot. We do almost everything together. Sometimes I wonder if that would be bad, but I think its how we stay so close. Of course, we each have our work worlds, but at night we spend our time together, not in separate rooms or with respective "guy/girl" time. And everday we hug and kiss. I think that keeps us closer than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't resent the OP at all. I just reinforces my idea that there are some great men out there. My husband has absolutely no respect for me (one example: he created an account on a dating website, and told me that it was just to see pics of women when Iconfronted him about it). I refuse to be cynical about my problems and pretty much blame myself for making the wrong choice years ago. I am still youngg though, I will move on with dignity and hope that there's someone out there for me.

The truth is that he will NEVER do better than you. Drop him. I read somewhere that in most cases when women leave bad marriages, they thrive while the deadbeats have a tough time. Trust me, there are plenty of great men out there. The bad ones just feed on our insecurities telling us garbage so that we think everyone out there is like this. You will find your Prince!