Anyone else still madly in love with their husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, one more thought that might explain the tone of some of the responses you've been getting...

Your original post was in response to a thread you read about marriages falling apart, in which many people expressed their worries.
If someone started a thread about not being able to afford a good stroller, I doubt you would have posted something like, "Anybody able to afford a $300 stroller or is it just me"? Not to excuse any nastiness or direct attacks on you, but it might explain some of the prickly feelings.

Thank you! I can appreciate a good love-fest on these boards, but the timing of this thread was incredibly insensitive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP needs to feel humble or keep quiet about her happy marriage. She should be proud, and there's nothing wrong with saying it. There is a ton of negativity on these boards about marriage and men -- why can't people permit one single "I love my husband" thread to survive?

"I love my husband" is all she really had to say. The details about how madly in love/lust she is, etc... was a bit over the top for a thread that was in response to marriages that are falling apart.

[Anonymous]

Guys, it is a simple numbers issue. IF the divorce rate is 50% or over for second marriages, many responses to this ilk of thread are NOT going to be overwhelmingly positive. People are STRUGGLING, some more, some less. But at least HALF of the population (esp. here in DC) is having a tough time in their marriages for a variety of reasons. Not judging it, just saying that the numbers are not good for super-duper lovey dovey marriages!

[Anonymous]

The OP is smug and self-satisfied. And it is kind of sad, actually, that she has to post that on a board to pat herself on the back.
Lots of people post on this board about how they can't afford stuff, or financial struggles they are going through. I am rich. Not by inheritance, but because my husband and I earn a ton of money. Should I post "Anyone else immune to the economic downturn?" or "Anyone else still rolling in it"
I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP is smug and self-satisfied. And it is kind of sad, actually, that she has to post that on a board to pat herself on the back.
Lots of people post on this board about how they can't afford stuff, or financial struggles they are going through. I am rich. Not by inheritance, but because my husband and I earn a ton of money. Should I post "Anyone else immune to the economic downturn?" or "Anyone else still rolling in it"
I think not.

I don't know, if you want to, why not? My husband and I have lost 300K in the past three years. But if you made smarter moves or just had better luck than me and wanted to post something on this website saying how thankful you are, especially hearing about how badly others are doing, why would that make me wish bad things on you or to try to take away from the happiness you expressed?

People on this thread are openly wishing harm on the OP, or at the least, saying things that intimate that those of us who are happy in our marriages just must be missing something (just like all those blissfully unaware women someone talks about at a cocktail party). You all just kind of sound like miserable and bad people and I have to say, if this is the way you behave when met with happiness on an anonymous message board, there may be a reason your marriage is failing. Maybe it's not bad luck, maybe you don't have an awful spouse, maybe it's.............you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP is smug and self-satisfied.

What - she should be miserly instead? And what is wrong with self-satisfaction? Maybe we'd all be better off if we satisfied ourselves first instead of living for other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP is smug and self-satisfied. And it is kind of sad, actually, that she has to post that on a board to pat herself on the back.
Lots of people post on this board about how they can't afford stuff, or financial struggles they are going through. I am rich. Not by inheritance, but because my husband and I earn a ton of money. Should I post "Anyone else immune to the economic downturn?" or "Anyone else still rolling in it"
I think not.

PP here. By the way, you just DID post on it. So by your own estimation, you are just as "bad" as OP.

[Anonymous]

I have not had a perfect marriage, there have been bumps in the road, and I have fallen out of love with my husband. I have also fallen in love with him all over again. This is what marriages are like. It can't be rainbows and butterflies all the time, because lets face it, some times there ain't nothin' but piles of shit layin' around.

The OP sounds delusional, as if there is nothing wrong (EVER) with her husband or her life. She is madly, deeply in love with him, and misses him when they part ways for the day? Am I the only one that sees this as over the top?

It seems that the OP filters out the realities and sees her man through lust tented glasses. She needs to pick up a hobby, take a class, join a woman's group, and join the rest of us in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not had a perfect marriage, there have been bumps in the road, and I have fallen out of love with my husband. I have also fallen in love with him all over again. This is what marriages are like. It can't be rainbows and butterflies all the time, because lets face it, some times there ain't nothin' but piles of shit layin' around.

The OP sounds delusional, as if there is nothing wrong (EVER) with her husband or her life. She is madly, deeply in love with him, and misses him when they part ways for the day? Am I the only one that sees this as over the top?

It seems that the OP filters out the realities and sees her man through lust tented glasses. She needs to pick up a hobby, take a class, join a woman's group, and join the rest of us in the real world.

I'm not the OP, but I think it's refreshing! I've been married to my DH for 6 years (tomorrow!) and I look forward to seeing him every day; I always have. I also have a job that I love, I have separate interests, I have a full life. Delusional? What's delusional is the idea that one can't have a loving marriage unless they are mentally ill!

[Anonymous]

Have to chuckle at all this clucking over husbands - how much we love them and argue that our marriages are wonderful.

This is my last comment on this thread, but I ask you: how often do you think men (your husband?) discuss how madly in love with you THEY are? <crickets>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not had a perfect marriage, there have been bumps in the road, and I have fallen out of love with my husband. I have also fallen in love with him all over again. This is what marriages are like. It can't be rainbows and butterflies all the time, because lets face it, some times there ain't nothin' but piles of shit layin' around.

The OP sounds delusional, as if there is nothing wrong (EVER) with her husband or her life. She is madly, deeply in love with him, and misses him when they part ways for the day? Am I the only one that sees this as over the top?

It seems that the OP filters out the realities and sees her man through lust tented glasses. She needs to pick up a hobby, take a class, join a woman's group, and join the rest of us in the real world.

I'm not the OP, but I think it's refreshing! I've been married to my DH for 6 years (tomorrow!) and I look forward to seeing him every day; I always have. I also have a job that I love, I have separate interests, I have a full life. Delusional? What's delusional is the idea that one can't have a loving marriage unless they are mentally ill!

She gets all gushy while watching him sleep. That goes beyond just loving him.

[Anonymous]

All the haters need to take a page from OP or crawl back into their holes or at least go back to the "I hate my husband" thread. I ADORE my husband after 10 years, three kids, and another on the way. I ADORE sex with my husband and wish we could do it more often but the kids and 2 full time jobs get in the way sometimes. Do we argue sometimes? Yes. Is life perfect? No. Do we try to do better every day? Yes. Do we take the time to tell each other what we like about the other and what we appreciate about the other? Yes!!

I like the DCUM threads that remind us to take the time to appreciate our spouses, to really enjoy them and value them, and remember to tell them, despite all the stress, that we think they are awesome and appreciate the hard work. Women who harp on their husbands all the time (and vice versa) reap what they sow. For those of you that are in thankless, loveless marriages, I am sorry. Personally, I think this thread (minus all the negative types) is inspirational and, for those of us in marriages that might just survive, it is a great reminder to think positively and do positiively about our husbands/wives.

[Anonymous]

Immediate pp here - meant to type "sew" hmmpf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have to chuckle at all this clucking over husbands - how much we love them and argue that our marriages are wonderful.

This is my last comment on this thread, but I ask you: how often do you think men (your husband?) discuss how madly in love with you THEY are? <crickets>

I don't know, but my DH just sent me flowers today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

quote]

And one other reason you hit a nerve is because you posted something akin to patting yourself on the back & taking credit for the hard work. I realize you may have said it wasn't due to luck because you put a lot of work in it, but it's similar to when someone says with a lot of hard work and grit, anyone can work hard and pull themselves out of financial trouble. Well, no, not always. Sometimes you put in the hours (even working more hours than someone else) and you still can't get ahead due to all kinds of factors that you can't control (disability, low wages, etc).

So it doesn't sit well with those of us who also put in the hard work in our marriages, who thought we also had the Midas touch when it came to mate selection, yet were dealt a bad hand in a spouse who turned out to be selfish or ended up having an affair or any of a thousand other traits that don't lend themselves to improving no matter how hard the wife or couple work at it. And yes, it's easier for happy wives to think we're unhappy because a) we picked poorly, b) we caused it because we weren't putting in the hard work or c) we must not have been providing a hot enough sex life... et al.

So, please just remember to be a smidge humble before crowing from the barn roof that your hard work and perseverance really paid off in your wonderful marriage, and try to accept that luck may have had more of a hand in it than you're comfortable admitting?

I had a similarly condescending attitude about my marriage years ago. I really didn't understand why some of my friends were having so many problems with their relationships. Marriage was effortless - and we were as passionate about each other as the day we met (and this was after kids). Then something happened beyond our control (no affair or anything) and it was akin to throwing a grenade into our marriage. For awhile, everyday together was a struggle. We've been trying to work through it, but I still can't say what the future holds for us. If you've got a fabulous relationship - be grateful for what you have, but don't forget we all get dealt a different hand of cards in life.