Depressed about my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take out loans just to go to a top school (I don’t know if you’re including loans when you say financial aid) if you aren’t going to take advantage of the connections they offer. Graduating debt-free gives you a ton of freedom that may or may not outweigh the graduating with an Ivy degree.

DC is graduating debt free but honestly I wish they took out loans so they’d kick their ass into gear and get a high paying job after graduation (the entire purpose of college), or at least go to law school. Perhaps I should make them take out loans for the next two years?

Also disappointing is that I keep telling DC to search for internships to do during the school year since their college is in NYC and doesn’t have classes on Fridays (guess which Ivy….), but they keep refusing because their classes are “too time consuming.” Maybe if they were a STEM major, an athlete, or at least had a 3.8+ I’d buy this, but I don’t believe it (DC is not an athlete at their school). Clearly they’re just making excuses to be lazy, which is so frustrating.

PP here. What is your kid’s GPA? What is their major? Graduating debt free from an Ivy isn’t bad. Up to you about the loans.

It sounds like a state school where they could’ve majored in nursing, computer science, information technology, accounting, secondary education, or similar would have been a better fit with lower stakes because you’re not dropping tons of money on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t tell if this is a conserva-troll just using this post to slam Ivys and liberal arts majors, or not.
If so: my response is “send your kid to Hillsdale. Their job prospects will go way way way down… unless they want a conservative affirmative action job paid by billionaires. Charles Koch is always hiring ideologues.”

If not, my response is: What do you call a Princeton grad with a low GPA who worked their junior summer as a camp counselor? “A Princeton grad.”
Your kid will be fine. They should commit themselves more to school, but don’t sweat it.

Looks like we’ve found the liber-troll. Go away and take your politics with you.
NP

+1. And clearly knows nothing about Koch’s hiring practices (or that one died)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take out loans just to go to a top school (I don’t know if you’re including loans when you say financial aid) if you aren’t going to take advantage of the connections they offer. Graduating debt-free gives you a ton of freedom that may or may not outweigh the graduating with an Ivy degree.

DC is graduating debt free but honestly I wish they took out loans so they’d kick their ass into gear and get a high paying job after graduation (the entire purpose of college), or at least go to law school. Perhaps I should make them take out loans for the next two years?

Also disappointing is that I keep telling DC to search for internships to do during the school year since their college is in NYC and doesn’t have classes on Fridays (guess which Ivy….), but they keep refusing because their classes are “too time consuming.” Maybe if they were a STEM major, an athlete, or at least had a 3.8+ I’d buy this, but I don’t believe it (DC is not an athlete at their school). Clearly they’re just making excuses to be lazy, which is so frustrating.

PP here. What is your kid’s GPA? What is their major? Graduating debt free from an Ivy isn’t bad. Up to you about the loans.

It sounds like a state school where they could’ve majored in nursing, computer science, information technology, accounting, secondary education, or similar would have been a better fit with lower stakes because you’re not dropping tons of money on it.

You are so right. Every single damn day DH and I wish we sent our kid off to the state flagship as a nursing/accounting/engineering major. Would’ve been WAY better career wise. I thought about having DC transfer last year but foolishly thought that the elite school degree would make up for things, but I was wrong. It’s too late now.

3.7 in philosophy. Most humanities majors at their school have a 3.8+, so they’re not getting called back for any interviews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, OP, I majored in a "useless humanities major" at Harvard, and I'm doing fine. My major taught me to think, write, and analyze, which are skills that have served me well.

Also, I'm 42 now and recently started a new job: the H bomb on my CV still had full effect, for what it's worth. I'm sure this will work the same way for your kid if he does well academically and graduates.

Also had a useless humanities major (theology!) and am doing fine now. The key thing is young people learning how to figure out what they want to do and then doing the networking that will get them there.

Networking can’t get you a job you’re not qualified for unless you’re already wealthy and well-connected. Which we aren’t.

You'll be surprised at the extent that people will open doors for alums of elite schools. But if you're depressed now, I fear what might happen when your kid faces an actual challenge in their life.

Having a slacker kid on the couch is an actual life challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take out loans just to go to a top school (I don’t know if you’re including loans when you say financial aid) if you aren’t going to take advantage of the connections they offer. Graduating debt-free gives you a ton of freedom that may or may not outweigh the graduating with an Ivy degree.

DC is graduating debt free but honestly I wish they took out loans so they’d kick their ass into gear and get a high paying job after graduation (the entire purpose of college), or at least go to law school. Perhaps I should make them take out loans for the next two years?

Also disappointing is that I keep telling DC to search for internships to do during the school year since their college is in NYC and doesn’t have classes on Fridays (guess which Ivy….), but they keep refusing because their classes are “too time consuming.” Maybe if they were a STEM major, an athlete, or at least had a 3.8+ I’d buy this, but I don’t believe it (DC is not an athlete at their school). Clearly they’re just making excuses to be lazy, which is so frustrating.

PP here. What is your kid’s GPA? What is their major? Graduating debt free from an Ivy isn’t bad. Up to you about the loans.

It sounds like a state school where they could’ve majored in nursing, computer science, information technology, accounting, secondary education, or similar would have been a better fit with lower stakes because you’re not dropping tons of money on it.

You are so right. Every single damn day DH and I wish we sent our kid off to the state flagship as a nursing/accounting/engineering major. Would’ve been WAY better career wise. I thought about having DC transfer last year but foolishly thought that the elite school degree would make up for things, but I was wrong. It’s too late now.

3.7 in philosophy. Most humanities majors at their school have a 3.8+, so they’re not getting called back for any interviews.

You have to let go, op. Your child will be fine. I am the child of immigrants. I get your concerns. But seriously, any ivy league grad with a philosophy major will be just fine. She will land on her feet. Stop hating on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, OP, I majored in a "useless humanities major" at Harvard, and I'm doing fine. My major taught me to think, write, and analyze, which are skills that have served me well.

Also, I'm 42 now and recently started a new job: the H bomb on my CV still had full effect, for what it's worth. I'm sure this will work the same way for your kid if he does well academically and graduates.

Also had a useless humanities major (theology!) and am doing fine now. The key thing is young people learning how to figure out what they want to do and then doing the networking that will get them there.

Networking can’t get you a job you’re not qualified for unless you’re already wealthy and well-connected. Which we aren’t.

You'll be surprised at the extent that people will open doors for alums of elite schools. But if you're depressed now, I fear what might happen when your kid faces an actual challenge in their life.

Having a slacker kid on the couch is an actual life challenge.

If I were OPs kid, I would strive to be anywhere else. I predict this won’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take out loans just to go to a top school (I don’t know if you’re including loans when you say financial aid) if you aren’t going to take advantage of the connections they offer. Graduating debt-free gives you a ton of freedom that may or may not outweigh the graduating with an Ivy degree.

DC is graduating debt free but honestly I wish they took out loans so they’d kick their ass into gear and get a high paying job after graduation (the entire purpose of college), or at least go to law school. Perhaps I should make them take out loans for the next two years?

Also disappointing is that I keep telling DC to search for internships to do during the school year since their college is in NYC and doesn’t have classes on Fridays (guess which Ivy….), but they keep refusing because their classes are “too time consuming.” Maybe if they were a STEM major, an athlete, or at least had a 3.8+ I’d buy this, but I don’t believe it (DC is not an athlete at their school). Clearly they’re just making excuses to be lazy, which is so frustrating.

PP here. What is your kid’s GPA? What is their major? Graduating debt free from an Ivy isn’t bad. Up to you about the loans.

It sounds like a state school where they could’ve majored in nursing, computer science, information technology, accounting, secondary education, or similar would have been a better fit with lower stakes because you’re not dropping tons of money on it.

You are so right. Every single damn day DH and I wish we sent our kid off to the state flagship as a nursing/accounting/engineering major. Would’ve been WAY better career wise. I thought about having DC transfer last year but foolishly thought that the elite school degree would make up for things, but I was wrong. It’s too late now.

3.7 in philosophy. Most humanities majors at their school have a 3.8+, so they’re not getting called back for any interviews.

My lord…..take a Xanax or start drinking. My child waited until mid-20’s to get a bachelors degree while working on their career. Ten years later, very successful and making $$$$$$$. Leave your kid alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, OP, I majored in a "useless humanities major" at Harvard, and I'm doing fine. My major taught me to think, write, and analyze, which are skills that have served me well.

Also, I'm 42 now and recently started a new job: the H bomb on my CV still had full effect, for what it's worth. I'm sure this will work the same way for your kid if he does well academically and graduates.

Also had a useless humanities major (theology!) and am doing fine now. The key thing is young people learning how to figure out what they want to do and then doing the networking that will get them there.

Networking can’t get you a job you’re not qualified for unless you’re already wealthy and well-connected. Which we aren’t.

You'll be surprised at the extent that people will open doors for alums of elite schools. But if you're depressed now, I fear what might happen when your kid faces an actual challenge in their life.

Having a slacker kid on the couch is an actual life challenge.

If I were OPs kid, I would strive to be anywhere else. I predict this won’t happen.

This kid ain’t ever going home. Wouldn’t blame them one bit.

[Anonymous]

I did fancy unpaid internships in college.

Honestly I think kids who work as camp counselors might learn more. It’s a real job that they are getting paid for. They learn social and leadership skills that can be helpful in the workplace.

Summer after junior year is a better year to get an internship. Try for that. I bet a lot of employers aren’t dealing with interns this summer because of covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take out loans just to go to a top school (I don’t know if you’re including loans when you say financial aid) if you aren’t going to take advantage of the connections they offer. Graduating debt-free gives you a ton of freedom that may or may not outweigh the graduating with an Ivy degree.

DC is graduating debt free but honestly I wish they took out loans so they’d kick their ass into gear and get a high paying job after graduation (the entire purpose of college), or at least go to law school. Perhaps I should make them take out loans for the next two years?

Also disappointing is that I keep telling DC to search for internships to do during the school year since their college is in NYC and doesn’t have classes on Fridays (guess which Ivy….), but they keep refusing because their classes are “too time consuming.” Maybe if they were a STEM major, an athlete, or at least had a 3.8+ I’d buy this, but I don’t believe it (DC is not an athlete at their school). Clearly they’re just making excuses to be lazy, which is so frustrating.

PP here. What is your kid’s GPA? What is their major? Graduating debt free from an Ivy isn’t bad. Up to you about the loans.

It sounds like a state school where they could’ve majored in nursing, computer science, information technology, accounting, secondary education, or similar would have been a better fit with lower stakes because you’re not dropping tons of money on it.

You are so right. Every single damn day DH and I wish we sent our kid off to the state flagship as a nursing/accounting/engineering major. Would’ve been WAY better career wise. I thought about having DC transfer last year but foolishly thought that the elite school degree would make up for things, but I was wrong. It’s too late now.

3.7 in philosophy. Most humanities majors at their school have a 3.8+, so they’re not getting called back for any interviews.

You have to let go, op. Your child will be fine. I am the child of immigrants. I get your concerns. But seriously, any ivy league grad with a philosophy major will be just fine. She will land on her feet. Stop hating on her.

No actually, they won’t be fine. A family friend’s kid graduated from Brown as a linguistics major last year. She’s been working as a barista for the past year because she can’t find any other job.

[Anonymous]

If your child has a 3.7 in philosophy at Columbia, you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about.

Philosophy is a VERY respected major. Among humanities, at most colleges it is one of the toughest. A 3.7 is nothing to sneeze at--especially after only 2 years. (Most students' GPAs go up their last 2 years.)

I don't know the median GPA at Columbia, but I seriously doubt it's a 3.8--probably more like a 3.6. I am absolutely positive that a 3.7 doesn't put you in the bottom quarter of the class. Even those in the bottom of the class will be able to get jobs.

Do you KNOW that the gpa was the reason your DC didn't get an internship? I doubt it. I assume there were lots of applicants and those who were successul have completed 3 years of college.

[Anonymous]

I went to a prestigious engineering school - graduated with barely a B average. I screwed around during my co-ops and didn’t realize peers were doing more than boring grunt work at their co-op. I never became an engineer and I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 20s.

I am a successful executive for a large consulting company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, OP, I majored in a "useless humanities major" at Harvard, and I'm doing fine. My major taught me to think, write, and analyze, which are skills that have served me well.

Also, I'm 42 now and recently started a new job: the H bomb on my CV still had full effect, for what it's worth. I'm sure this will work the same way for your kid if he does well academically and graduates.

Also had a useless humanities major (theology!) and am doing fine now. The key thing is young people learning how to figure out what they want to do and then doing the networking that will get them there.

Networking can’t get you a job you’re not qualified for unless you’re already wealthy and well-connected. Which we aren’t.

You'll be surprised at the extent that people will open doors for alums of elite schools. But if you're depressed now, I fear what might happen when your kid faces an actual challenge in their life.

Having a slacker kid on the couch is an actual life challenge.

If I were OPs kid, I would strive to be anywhere else. I predict this won’t happen.

This kid ain’t ever going home. Wouldn’t blame them one bit.

Actually, my kid has been home with me for the past 16 months since the pandemic started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child has a 3.7 in philosophy at Columbia, you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about.

Philosophy is a VERY respected major. Among humanities, at most colleges it is one of the toughest. A 3.7 is nothing to sneeze at--especially after only 2 years. (Most students' GPAs go up their last 2 years.)

I don't know the median GPA at Columbia, but I seriously doubt it's a 3.8--probably more like a 3.6. I am absolutely positive that a 3.7 doesn't put you in the bottom quarter of the class. Even those in the bottom of the class will be able to get jobs.

Do you KNOW that the gpa was the reason your DC didn't get an internship? I doubt it. I assume there were lots of applicants and those who were successul have completed 3 years of college.

I think the GPA + useless major was part of it. The other reasons might be low relevant work experience in general (spent last summer working at Chipotle instead of at an internship) and weak ECs in college (only in fun/frivolous art clubs at Columbia and not in any serious academic or professional clubs). Most middle class Columbia students are aggressively building their resumes, taking useful classes, and finding relevant internships (both in the summer and during the school year).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a prestigious engineering school - graduated with barely a B average. I screwed around during my co-ops and didn’t realize peers were doing more than boring grunt work at their co-op. I never became an engineer and I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 20s.

I am a successful executive for a large consulting company.

How did you get to where you are? I guarentee it’s not a path open for middle class students.