Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my husband and I divorced and I hit the dating scene again, I was worried that it would be hard to meet men. I had never done online dating before and wow, a while new world. Even during covid, it’s not hard at all!

The problem is that it’s too hard to meet men I’d realistically be into.

I am in my mid 30s, attractive, two kids, financially independent and professionally successful. Here is what I’m finding:

1. The guys who want to have kids of their own like, yesterday, because they realize the clock is ticking. This is totally understandable but I really, really do not want any more kids.

2. The guys who are not in a great financial place because they are paying out tons of alimony and child support. I am not necessarily looking to be supported, but I am also not looking to support someone else. Realistically I think the lowest I could go from an income perspective would be about $250k for a single guy or that equivalent after alimony and child support has been deducted. Anything short of that and there’s going to be a pretty substantial income gap that will make me feel uncomfortable. Even that would present a large gap.

3. The overgrown lax bros who can’t believe I have kids. “Is that your nephew in the picture?”

4, The guys who are five foot seven and under- I really feel bad for them but I just can’t do that.

I’m sure there’s more... is it too much to ask to find a professionally successful guy ages 38-50 who either (a) has kids od his own or (b) doesn’t wNt kids is his own, but also doesn’t mind dealing with mine 50% of the time.

Where do these men exist?????

-The vast majority of American don’t make more than 250k so that is very limiting.

-You should not have pictures of your kids in your online dating profiles! You could attract predators, my god.

-you need to state clearly on your profile that you do not want to have any more biological kids of your own

-You already have kids so there’s no rush. These standards are limiting, but hey, if it’s what you want, just keep looking. That’s fine and I am not being snarky when I say that. But you are limiting yourself to a small pool of men.

Some sites have an option to click for “already have kids; do not want more”.

[Anonymous]

I have dated men who fit your requirements. However, they either do not want commitment, are closeted gays, or are alcoholics. They are single for a reason. (I am single because my husband died, before anyone makes that comment back at me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't real, right?



I mean...this isn't real, guys, right???

DP - at least one person said her circumstances are similar to OP’s. So yeah, I believe it’s real.

This is DC. Tons of women make $250k/ year + around here. Some of them divorce and want to date.

And some of them will find OP’s unicorn. I have seen it.

I know at least three women who had 2 kids then divorced and went on to second (or third) marriages with well-off men. In every case, the man had kids (but not 50/50 custody). However, all of these women had/adopted a kid or two with the new husband. In some cases, using ART or a surrogate to make the new kids happen. One woman had a second divorce a few years later, remarried to a man who was also twice divorced and had a fifth baby at age 48. There are nine kids in the blended family.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your standards are really high (e.g. a very high income requirement and a height requirement), which is your right, but then you will have to accept that you may not meet anyone and stay single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my husband and I divorced and I hit the dating scene again, I was worried that it would be hard to meet men. I had never done online dating before and wow, a while new world. Even during covid, it’s not hard at all!

The problem is that it’s too hard to meet men I’d realistically be into.

I am in my mid 30s, attractive, two kids, financially independent and professionally successful. Here is what I’m finding:

1. The guys who want to have kids of their own like, yesterday, because they realize the clock is ticking. This is totally understandable but I really, really do not want any more kids.

2. The guys who are not in a great financial place because they are paying out tons of alimony and child support. I am not necessarily looking to be supported, but I am also not looking to support someone else. Realistically I think the lowest I could go from an income perspective would be about $250k for a single guy or that equivalent after alimony and child support has been deducted. Anything short of that and there’s going to be a pretty substantial income gap that will make me feel uncomfortable. Even that would present a large gap.

3. The overgrown lax bros who can’t believe I have kids. “Is that your nephew in the picture?”

4, The guys who are five foot seven and under- I really feel bad for them but I just can’t do that.

I’m sure there’s more... is it too much to ask to find a professionally successful guy ages 38-50 who either (a) has kids od his own or (b) doesn’t wNt kids is his own, but also doesn’t mind dealing with mine 50% of the time.

Where do these men exist?????

-The vast majority of American don’t make more than 250k so that is very limiting.

-You should not have pictures of your kids in your online dating profiles! You could attract predators, my god.

-you need to state clearly on your profile that you do not want to have any more biological kids of your own

-You already have kids so there’s no rush. These standards are limiting, but hey, if it’s what you want, just keep looking. That’s fine and I am not being snarky when I say that. But you are limiting yourself to a small pool of men.

250K?
My husband is in a rather high position in the academia, and the only person making more than 250K is their school's dean. And he's 60+.

OP, if you're not a troll, you're pretty shallow. No wonder your husband split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gosh what happened to finding a guy who

has a great sense of humor
loves the outdoors
is great with kids
can cook

all this income bracket crap and height business makes me think you're completely unrealistic and highly superficial.

I can see why you're divorced, honestly.

What’s so great about a guy who “loves the outdoors” when you live in DC?!

What is so great about a woman who loves the outdoors, loves the water, loves to travel blah blah. Y’all’s profiles read exactly the same. Good luck with that

[Anonymous]

The men who you are interested in are not interested in you. Men like that can pick and choose, so why do they want to deal with you and your baggage?

[Anonymous]

You know where the 38 year old men who love kids, have a good heart, and are 6'2" and make 250k are?

They're happily married already.

[Anonymous]

All the replies so far seem to be from women. Man in DC here. OP's criteria sound understandable to me. How realistic they are, I don't know. I'm 45, divorced, have two kids (one in ES, one in MS), 50% custody, make $500k, don't pay any alimony or child support but do cover half the kids' expenses, and am trim and fit and well dressed. I will not have more kids and really don't even want more kids in my life. The kids thing is kind of the barrier to dating in general for me because most women I meet who are interested in me either have kids at home or want to have kids.

For what it's worth, I hate "the outdoors." I am not going camping or mountain climbing or whatever. It's really annoying how being outdoorsy has become such an expectation, at least in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the replies so far seem to be from women. Man in DC here. OP's criteria sound understandable to me. How realistic they are, I don't know. I'm 45, divorced, have two kids (one in ES, one in MS), 50% custody, make $500k, don't pay any alimony or child support but do cover half the kids' expenses, and am trim and fit and well dressed. I will not have more kids and really don't even want more kids in my life. The kids thing is kind of the barrier to dating in general for me because most women I meet who are interested in me either have kids at home or want to have kids.

For what it's worth, I hate "the outdoors." I am not going camping or mountain climbing or whatever. It's really annoying how being outdoorsy has become such an expectation, at least in DC.

Yeah except OP has two small kids. You admitted you don't want to deal with that.

We're not saying Op's guy doesn't exist, we're saying he's not interested in OP, and you have proven that point.

[Anonymous]

All the replies so far seem to be from women. Man in DC here. OP's criteria sound understandable to me. How realistic they are, I don't know. I'm 45, divorced, have two kids (one in ES, one in MS), 50% custody, make $500k, don't pay any alimony or child support but do cover half the kids' expenses, and am trim and fit and well dressed. I will not have more kids and really don't even want more kids in my life. The kids thing is kind of the barrier to dating in general for me because most women I meet who are interested in me either have kids at home or want to have kids.

For what it's worth, I hate "the outdoors." I am not going camping or mountain climbing or whatever. It's really annoying how being outdoorsy has become such an expectation, at least in DC.

Great, if you think you and OP may be a fit, share your info with her, and perhaps there will be a DCUM love connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

All the replies so far seem to be from women. Man in DC here. OP's criteria sound understandable to me. How realistic they are, I don't know. I'm 45, divorced, have two kids (one in ES, one in MS), 50% custody, make $500k, don't pay any alimony or child support but do cover half the kids' expenses, and am trim and fit and well dressed. I will not have more kids and really don't even want more kids in my life. The kids thing is kind of the barrier to dating in general for me because most women I meet who are interested in me either have kids at home or want to have kids.

For what it's worth, I hate "the outdoors." I am not going camping or mountain climbing or whatever. It's really annoying how being outdoorsy has become such an expectation, at least in DC.

Great, if you think you and OP may be a fit, share your info with her, and perhaps there will be a DCUM love connection.

+1. If you think she's reasonable, you take her.

[Anonymous]

OP I will date you. I'm 39, never married. Own a defense business (been featured in WaPo a few times). Easily clear $750k+ in total compensation. I'm 5'10". Only condition is you never mention your kids or ex. I'm pretty busy but we can splurge on fancy hotels, day trips, or overseas vacations. If you're into videogames then that's cool. I also own a sailboat in Annapolis and like to host outings for friends and business associates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I will date you. I'm 39, never married. Own a defense business (been featured in WaPo a few times). Easily clear $750k+ in total compensation. I'm 5'10". Only condition is you never mention your kids or ex. I'm pretty busy but we can splurge on fancy hotels, day trips, or overseas vacations. If you're into videogames then that's cool. I also own a sailboat in Annapolis and like to host outings for friends and business associates.

See, OP? Here is another one who sees your kids as baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I will date you. I'm 39, never married. Own a defense business (been featured in WaPo a few times). Easily clear $750k+ in total compensation. I'm 5'10". Only condition is you never mention your kids or ex. I'm pretty busy but we can splurge on fancy hotels, day trips, or overseas vacations. If you're into videogames then that's cool. I also own a sailboat in Annapolis and like to host outings for friends and business associates.

Do women actually go for this? This sounds like absolute hell.