Official my DH is an ass on Mother’s Day 2021 thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Im a PP. My kids are 1 and 6, so it's really on my husband to organize whatever the FAMILY does. He forgot all together.

The complaint here is not that these husbands aren't "going all out," and if you think "asking what his wife would like and buying that one specific thing" in lieu if actually being thoughtful is "going all out," I don't know what to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

I'm the PP and I am married, and I know different strokes for different folks but I don't get this one at all. We actually have separate finances mostly but it's all our money in the end. I don't see what difference it makes who clicks "checkout."

[Anonymous]

Don't even get me started on "push" gifts.

Disgusting to me that a woman wants to get paid/bribed for giving birth. She has already received the ultimate gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't even get me started on "push" gifts.

Disgusting to me that a woman wants to get paid/bribed for giving birth. She has already received the ultimate gift.

And the father got the "ultimate gift" plus free surrogacy services. So if you split the value of that in half DHs only owe $50k per kid. A bargain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Im a PP. My kids are 1 and 6, so it's really on my husband to organize whatever the FAMILY does. He forgot all together.

The complaint here is not that these husbands aren't "going all out," and if you think "asking what his wife would like and buying that one specific thing" in lieu if actually being thoughtful is "going all out," I don't know what to tell you.

Yeah it’s nice for husbands to be thoughtful and show appreciation of their wife as a mother. But to me it’s still a weird idea that this means the husband asks the wife what gift she wants for Mother’s Day. I still say if you want a specific gift just buy it yourself. To me birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, maybe Valentine’s Day make sense as days for husbands to give their wife gifts. Mother’s Day just doesn’t seem that way. It seems like a day to honor your own mother. So if you have young kids who can’t get you a gift on their own, then husband should help them make something or do something they can do for you. You’re their mother, not his.

[Anonymous]

He went golfing early this morning and came home with what appears to be makeup on his collar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He went golfing early this morning and came home with what appears to be makeup on his collar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stupid, made up holiday. If you care one iota about Mother’s Day you are an emotional infant. If you get upset about DH failing at Mother’s Day, you are toxic as well. (And you are not your DH’s mother in any event.)

Lol. That is my DHs excuse. How many others get...it's a made up holiday.

What holidays and milestones does he agree are not "made up"

Are you all honestly this dense? You can’t see that Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Valentines Day, and Secretary’s Day are made up holidays, in a way that Christmas, NYE, Thanksgiving, and Independence Day are not? They actually commemorate a real thing.

You are so funny.

Being thankful for making it through the first winter in New England IS a thing. But so Is being thankful for the love and care your mother provided you. Jesus’s birth is a thing ... sort of. New Year’s Eve is just the day before the new year. Not much of a thing if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He went golfing early this morning and came home with what appears to be makeup on his collar.

You are probably an amazing mamma. And I hope your kids love you and see you. Xoxoxox

[Anonymous]

I get that my husband doesn’t want to celebrate me. That’s fine. I would have liked if he’d helped the kids once over their life span to this date to help celebrate Mother’s Day. Or take the initiative to celebrate his own mom. I remind him every year (although I’ve stopped doing the work for him). He didn’t even say Happy Mother’s Day to me. Just ... nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

I'm the PP and I am married, and I know different strokes for different folks but I don't get this one at all. We actually have separate finances mostly but it's all our money in the end. I don't see what difference it makes who clicks "checkout."

So what I hear some of y'all saying is that wife should buy their own gifts to PRETEND to celebrate a silly, made up holiday even though husband ASKS what to get wife?
Lol. Some of y'all are so just so dumb and contradictory that now I understand why we have Republicans/Trump leading our country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

I'm the PP and I am married, and I know different strokes for different folks but I don't get this one at all. We actually have separate finances mostly but it's all our money in the end. I don't see what difference it makes who clicks "checkout."

So what I hear some of y'all saying is that wife should buy their own gifts to PRETEND to celebrate a silly, made up holiday even though husband ASKS what to get wife?
Lol. Some of y'all are so just so dumb and contradictory that now I understand why we have Republicans/Trump leading our country.

What on earth are you talking about? Yes if someone asks what to get you they should follow through and get you what you ask for. That is true. However, the expectation that a husband needs to buy his wife a shirt for Mother’s Day is very odd to me. Next time he asks what to get, just remind him that last time ge asked you this he didn’t follow through so from now on you will just order your own gift and then he can wrap it for you.

There’s no doubt that your DH is an a#% but you can’t change that. Take care of your own gifts and maybe some of that resentment will go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

The WORST! Why do men do this? My dad always did that to my mom growing up and it was such a pain point in their relationship. He’s better about it now but it made some tense moments on gift giving occasions.

I have a friend like this, she would ask what a child wants for their birthday and get a cheap knock-off. No she is not poor or greedy, I think she genuinely believes it is as good as!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cut out the middleman - the useless DH. I divorced him.

This morning, my kids woke up and wished me a Happy Mother's Day and said they loved me. We are relaxing and walking to get donuts for brunch. Later, we will get dressed up and take nice pics of the 3 of us. Go to the park. Cook homemade pizza. No man necessary.

Good for you! Same, except kid is with ex today. A perfect mother's day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t buy gifts; at all, ever, for anyone.

But that’s ok. He makes a high income and I buy myself whatever I want. UPS man never forgets a gift for a special occasion.

My kids made me cards and are great. No complaints here.

I like your attitude!