Official my DH is an ass on Mother’s Day 2021 thread

[Anonymous]

He coached the toddler to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, which was sweet. MIL got that + flowers...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He coached the toddler to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, which was sweet. MIL got that + flowers...

I hear you. I spent the day with my MIL and DH’s family at her house. MIL got gifts, cards, a cake. I got nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Why would you think it is only to celebrate YOUR mother, and not all mothers?

[Anonymous]

Married 30 years - kids 28 & 22 - every single year he makes a half hearted flowers etc then ostentatiously refuses to participate in any activity (zoo, movie, hike - doesn't matter) then asks what is for dinner.. My kids and I learned to celebrate on our our own years ago - always egra good day. He passed out after bourbon an hour ago - today is one more day to harden my heart, stash cash and think about leaving...

[Anonymous]

My ex is better at this than your husbands. We've been divorced for 22 years and he texted me Happy Mother's Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex is better at this than your husbands. We've been divorced for 22 years and he texted me Happy Mother's Day.

My XH also texted me Happy Mother’s Day. Divorced four years and he’s been remarried for three with a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Curious about three ex's - were they always good at mother day or did they appreciate that aspect of you more after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Why would you think it is only to celebrate YOUR mother, and not all mothers?

Celebrate them by giving them a shirt they picked out for themselves?

I do think all mothers should be honored by letting them know how loved that are (could be done by writing a card, in person tribute, making breakfast in bed, making a nice dinner, cleaning the house, being kind, whatever other nice gestures) and generally just supporting mothers throughout the year by being loving and equally hard working partners, etc. do I think that means that I should celebrate all mothers by giving them some random token gift like a shirt? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Why would you think it is only to celebrate YOUR mother, and not all mothers?

Celebrate them by giving them a shirt they picked out for themselves?

I do think all mothers should be honored by letting them know how loved that are (could be done by writing a card, in person tribute, making breakfast in bed, making a nice dinner, cleaning the house, being kind, whatever other nice gestures) and generally just supporting mothers throughout the year by being loving and equally hard working partners, etc. do I think that means that I should celebrate all mothers by giving them some random token gift like a shirt? No.

No problem. Just make sure not to ask your wife what gift she wants you to buy. And if she happens to tell you, just say you have no plans to buy it. Don’t have a wife? Then you just made it that much easier for yourself. Are a wife? Tap into the part or you that realizes that people are different, and what is “random” to you is “normal” to someone else. Different doesn’t equal bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So last year I got exactly nothing for Mother's Day. Not a card, nothing from the kids, nada. I was upset - I mean, can't you even have the kids make a card or something? and later on got the guilt flowers from the grocery store.

This year, husband is working in another city, so we're not together. My kids stepped up and gave me nice cards and a picture from each. I got a phone call from my husband, that's it.

I have never been huge on gifts for Valentine's, Mother's Day, even our anniversary. I was tying to just chill out about it but then my mom sent a text saying she hoped I got some beautiful flowers. Well, I didn't. And of course I have always been the one that has taken on all the responsibility for sending my 7 nieces and nephews gifts, flowers or gifts for my mother in-law for her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day. IF I didn't, my husband wouldn't even think about it.

I'm not sure it's worth me even telling him anything. But it just feels like crap.

It could be worse, my husband gave me a card and a bag of candy from the grocery store.

NP. How is that worse?

[Anonymous]

Last year, I had gestational diabetes. My husband got me a cake. I said thank you and moved on.

This year, I’m deep into a health kick. Same cake again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

THats tradition with everyone I know and everywhere I’ve lived. Husband gives his wife and mother of his children a card, gift, nice day, along with the children. It’s a nice day to remember to appreciate someone who likely does a lot for you and your children.

Notice, no mention of the person he is supposed to be thinking of, his mother. Or her own mother. Just me me me. It’s only for a few years that your kids are too young to be responsible for celebrating their mother, which is a lifetime responsibility. It’s not called wife’s day. And admit it — you think that Mother’s Day is head and shoulders a bigger deal than Father’s Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Agree. What is with wanting gift.

Same. If kids are too young, then helping them with gifts or meal. But independently celebrating his wife on Mother’s Day, weird.

[Anonymous]

I’m a single parent so no ding dong husband BUT. My kid didn’t say anything to me until I reminded her around 3:30. No card. No flowers. No gift. I cried. Hard. She’s 13 so old enough. I bought myself a new purse but it didn’t even feel remotely special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single parent so no ding dong husband BUT. My kid didn’t say anything to me until I reminded her around 3:30. No card. No flowers. No gift. I cried. Hard. She’s 13 so old enough. I bought myself a new purse but it didn’t even feel remotely special.

Ugh. Sorry, pp. I’m Also single, but my kids are younger so I got the sweet school crafts the teachers facilitate.

Maybe next year you can help guide her and suggest a mother/daughter day where you celebrate each other? Let her choose a place for lunch and you choose the activity and surprise each other day if?