Official my DH is an ass on Mother’s Day 2021 thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So last year I got exactly nothing for Mother's Day. Not a card, nothing from the kids, nada. I was upset - I mean, can't you even have the kids make a card or something? and later on got the guilt flowers from the grocery store.

This year, husband is working in another city, so we're not together. My kids stepped up and gave me nice cards and a picture from each. I got a phone call from my husband, that's it.

I have never been huge on gifts for Valentine's, Mother's Day, even our anniversary. I was tying to just chill out about it but then my mom sent a text saying she hoped I got some beautiful flowers. Well, I didn't. And of course I have always been the one that has taken on all the responsibility for sending my 7 nieces and nephews gifts, flowers or gifts for my mother in-law for her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day. IF I didn't, my husband wouldn't even think about it.

I'm not sure it's worth me even telling him anything. But it just feels like crap.

I don’t get this. Your kids gave you cards. Your husband wished you a HMD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

Well, you have lovely taste and I hope you have a nice Mother’s Day.
- another mom who gets it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

Well, you have lovely taste and I hope you have a nice Mother’s Day.
- another mom who gets it

Oh why thank you. I hope you have a lovely mother's day too!
(Feeling seen by SOMEONE is so nice.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

DP, but I am married and I too find it bizarre that when he asked what you wanted, this is what you told him you wanted. You have to know that things online can sell out at any moment, so you should have bought it yourself to avoid that risk. You put him in a tough position on that one. Some of the other things you report do sound annoying, which I imagine is why you are having what seems to me to be an overreaction about the shirts.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn’t buy gifts; at all, ever, for anyone.

But that’s ok. He makes a high income and I buy myself whatever I want. UPS man never forgets a gift for a special occasion.

My kids made me cards and are great. No complaints here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

DP, but I am married and I too find it bizarre that when he asked what you wanted, this is what you told him you wanted. You have to know that things online can sell out at any moment, so you should have bought it yourself to avoid that risk. You put him in a tough position on that one. Some of the other things you report do sound annoying, which I imagine is why you are having what seems to me to be an overreaction about the shirts.

Ok, thanks for your clinical opinion and the gaslighting. :p

And more thanks to those of you who are not PP for the validation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second year in a row, he asked explicitly what I would like and then did NOT get it. And got something cheaper or uglier.

We need more details! With links! What did you ask for and what did he get?

Lol. Gladly. I asked for this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/evie-linen-shirt-summit-stripe/sty-w0753-blu?cat=C1_S2_G18 and/or this: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/georgina-linen-top-white/sty-w0714-wht?cat=C1_S2_G18

Literally said, buy it soon because it will likely sell out. Spoiler: they sold out.

He got me ill fitting, cheaper, unflatting shirts from the mall only AFTER I lost it on him yesterday am when he said, "oh, you wanted a shirt or something for mother's day?" and it became apparent he had NOT ordered it or done jackshit of thought for the day. I didn't get breakfast or a break from the kiddo and instead was greeted with an attempt to supersede the plans we made to hang with mom to see MIL instead. Ofc I am happy to share the day with both grandmoms, but it makes me mad as HELL that I asked what he had planned for MIL, got no response and so proceeded to make plans days in advance.

Like, why ask if you aren't going to buy it? Men. Are. Trash. Just biding my time for an impending split at this point.

This is so weird to me. What difference does it make if he buys you the shirt you picked out? Why wouldn’t you just buy it yourself? He could write you a check.

You are clearly NOT married. LOL and yes, he ASKED!? Ofc I would have bought it for myself if he had not ASKED...thus implying that he would get it FOR me.

DP, but I am married and I too find it bizarre that when he asked what you wanted, this is what you told him you wanted. You have to know that things online can sell out at any moment, so you should have bought it yourself to avoid that risk. You put him in a tough position on that one. Some of the other things you report do sound annoying, which I imagine is why you are having what seems to me to be an overreaction about the shirts.

NP. I think what you don't get is that the pp's husband made no effort at all towards mother's day. If she told him what to get and it runs out, ask her what other options are good substitues. I can see why the mom is upset that her husband put in no effort towards doing anything for her. I mean her husband said "you wanted shirt or something" which is pretty inconsiderate when your wife has clearly told you what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So last year I got exactly nothing for Mother's Day. Not a card, nothing from the kids, nada. I was upset - I mean, can't you even have the kids make a card or something? and later on got the guilt flowers from the grocery store.

This year, husband is working in another city, so we're not together. My kids stepped up and gave me nice cards and a picture from each. I got a phone call from my husband, that's it.

I have never been huge on gifts for Valentine's, Mother's Day, even our anniversary. I was tying to just chill out about it but then my mom sent a text saying she hoped I got some beautiful flowers. Well, I didn't. And of course I have always been the one that has taken on all the responsibility for sending my 7 nieces and nephews gifts, flowers or gifts for my mother in-law for her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day. IF I didn't, my husband wouldn't even think about it.

I'm not sure it's worth me even telling him anything. But it just feels like crap.

I don’t get this. Your kids gave you cards. Your husband wished you a HMD.

It would be nice since the wife/mother is thinking about her own mother and MIL that her husband could order some flowers for her for a nice surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So last year I got exactly nothing for Mother's Day. Not a card, nothing from the kids, nada. I was upset - I mean, can't you even have the kids make a card or something? and later on got the guilt flowers from the grocery store.

This year, husband is working in another city, so we're not together. My kids stepped up and gave me nice cards and a picture from each. I got a phone call from my husband, that's it.

I have never been huge on gifts for Valentine's, Mother's Day, even our anniversary. I was tying to just chill out about it but then my mom sent a text saying she hoped I got some beautiful flowers. Well, I didn't. And of course I have always been the one that has taken on all the responsibility for sending my 7 nieces and nephews gifts, flowers or gifts for my mother in-law for her birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day. IF I didn't, my husband wouldn't even think about it.

I'm not sure it's worth me even telling him anything. But it just feels like crap.

It could be worse, my husband gave me a card and a bag of candy from the grocery store.

[Anonymous]

I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

Agree. What is with wanting gift.

[Anonymous]

Kids just ran home from the playground because Dad started a fight with Grandpa about how bad I am telling him to put his phone away at restaurants on Sunday noon, or how he doesn’t do anything for ther kids, or how he argues and sometimes I stick up for myself. Such an ASD narc. Way to ruin another weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not my husbands mother, therefore I don’t expect a gift or card from my husband for Mother’s Day. Yes, I do expect him to encourage the kids to make me a card or help the kids make me breakfast or something along those lines. If he forgot it altogether and didn’t even assist the kids w something I’d be upset. And he should handle getting a card/gift/phone call for his own mother himself without me reminding him. As long as he does that, I’m fine.

I find it odd that so many people expect their husband to go all out buying them jewelry, clothing, etc. for Mother’s Day. That’s weird. If you want a shirt, just buy it yourself.

THats tradition with everyone I know and everywhere I’ve lived. Husband gives his wife and mother of his children a card, gift, nice day, along with the children. It’s a nice day to remember to appreciate someone who likely does a lot for you and your children.

[Anonymous]

I ordered my own gifts this year. DH held onto one and gave it to me this morning. That was fine.

DH did not wake up when kids woke me up at 6:30 this morning, did not feed kids breakfast so I had to.