DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

There are two hard and fast rules in life: 1) Don’t eat yellow snow 2) Don’t hire a hot nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

I’m a woman and this is exactly why men don’t talk to us
Let it go

No, men do talk to women. Little boys masquerading as men who believe they should have no accountability don't talk to women or talk about women like this. DH needs to get a filter, and they are all lucky , that hopefully, nanny doesn't know they are talking about her like this or they could have a legal problem on their hands.

You sound strict, bossy, and not very light-hearted about where this scenario could go. I am going to send you an e-hug. 🤗

A dad here. +1 for DH wasn't acting mature. He should have been grown up enough to shut down this conversation with his friend objectifying the nanny. But we also don't know exactly what was said. A simple, "Yeah, I guess." to his friends she's hot or did DH say "F' yeah I'd love to xxx...!"

OP, you know your DH. How would bringing this with DH go? Is he the type to listen and learn, or blow up/denial? If it's eating away at you, figure out why and you owe it to yourself to let him know that. This is not all about him.

[Anonymous]

Am I the ONLY one here thinking "threesome"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question isn't whether your nanny is hot, it's whether your DH is hot. If not, you have nothing to worry about.

Nope. The husband doesn't need to be hot as long as he has enough money.

[Anonymous]

Is this a responsible, competent + loving Nanny to your children?

If so - it would be so unfair to fire her just for being pretty.

She may need this job & also may love your kids.

Sure, it is completely understandable that she may make you feel a little insecure, though if you truly trust your husband 💯% then she should not be an issue.
And if she is, then perhaps you need to evaluate your husband’s integrity level.
ALL men notice attractive women.
Most will even verbalize it to their guy friends too. 💋

[Anonymous]

*Is she

[Anonymous]

No wonder there are so many effed up relationships in this area. People justifying an adult, married father making wildly inappropriate sexually charged comments (and yes, the word “hot” versus pretty or attractive implies this) to his (possibly equally immature) friend about his MUCH younger EMPLOYEE, while beating up on the wife for (understandably) feeling hurt/insecure...

Of course people notice attractive people. Noticing and verbalizing are actually two different things. Show your spouse some respect and consideration. Treat your employees with respect. “Everyone else does it” is not an excuse that we let fly with our children, so why would it be acceptable for an adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are 40 and have two twin boys who are 2. We have a nanny who is honestly fantastic and quite pretty, she's 28.

One of my friends (DH's best friends wife) came over right as the nanny was leaving and briefly said hello to her. Her and I continued to chat and she made a comment "she's as hot as Chris (fake name for DH) described her."

I looked pretty shocked when she said that. She apologized extensively and mentioned my husband Chris has told her husband that we have a really hot nanny. She continued to assure me nothing fishy was up it was just the guys talking.


I feel really hurt. Obviously it's because I'm insecure because she's clearly attractive and 10 years younger than me. Should I bring it up to him?

You better up your game Old Maid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

Because no nanny has ever gone out with nanny friend and said her family dad is hot. Or noticed something larger than average and said something to her friends. Calling her hott isn’t objectifying her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

End of thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

Because no nanny has ever gone out with nanny friend and said her family dad is hot. Or noticed something larger than average and said something to her friends. Calling her hott isn’t objectifying her.

This truly rarely ever happens, despite what porn and tabloid tales tell you the majority of nannies are not lusting over the family dad . However, even when it does it's still wrong and objectifying, Two wrongs don't make a right. The other thing id OP's husband is her employer he could get himself in some very hot water by being a big mouth.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should have had kids when you were 25! Then you would not be 40 and so insecure.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are getting some wildly inappropriate and awful responses on this thread. Clearly don’t fire the nanny. I would bring it up to DH. Not in an accusatory/ defensive/ insecure way. But something like,
“Hey DH, Larla mentioned that you called our nanny ‘hot’ to Larlo. They clearly thought it was funny, but I don’t. Yes, she is attractive and it’s fine to notice that, but we are her employers and have a legal obligation to provide a safe working environment for her. If she knew you were calling her hot to friends, she would feel very uncomfortable because this is her work environment. I like this nanny and don’t want her to quit because she thinks you are a creep - so knock it off.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are getting some wildly inappropriate and awful responses on this thread. Clearly don’t fire the nanny. I would bring it up to DH. Not in an accusatory/ defensive/ insecure way. But something like,
“Hey DH, Larla mentioned that you called our nanny ‘hot’ to Larlo. They clearly thought it was funny, but I don’t. Yes, she is attractive and it’s fine to notice that, but we are her employers and have a legal obligation to provide a safe working environment for her. If she knew you were calling her hot to friends, she would feel very uncomfortable because this is her work environment. I like this nanny and don’t want her to quit because she thinks you are a creep - so knock it off.”

This. I also can't believe people suggested firing the nanny. although it would be a blessing in disguise for the nanny to be away from such crazy people.

[Anonymous]

There’s a great bit in one of Ali Wong’s Netflix specials on why she hired an old nanny. It’s damn funny...and practical advice! Don’t hire a hot nanny.