DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are 40 and have two twin boys who are 2. We have a nanny who is honestly fantastic and quite pretty, she's 28.

One of my friends (DH's best friends wife) came over right as the nanny was leaving and briefly said hello to her. Her and I continued to chat and she made a comment "she's as hot as Chris (fake name for DH) described her."

I looked pretty shocked when she said that. She apologized extensively and mentioned my husband Chris has told her husband that we have a really hot nanny. She continued to assure me nothing fishy was up it was just the guys talking.


I feel really hurt. Obviously it's because I'm insecure because she's clearly attractive and 10 years younger than me. Should I bring it up to him?

. You are acting like an idiot. Me you should fire her and then hire a very old and ugly nanny. Do you honestly think men don't look at pretty women just because they are married? Now, if he has an affair with her, then you do have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

I’m a woman and this is exactly why men don’t talk to us
Let it go

No, men do talk to women. Little boys masquerading as men who believe they should have no accountability don't talk to women or talk about women like this. DH needs to get a filter, and they are all lucky , that hopefully, nanny doesn't know they are talking about her like this or they could have a legal problem on their hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are 40 and have two twin boys who are 2. We have a nanny who is honestly fantastic and quite pretty, she's 28.

One of my friends (DH's best friends wife) came over right as the nanny was leaving and briefly said hello to her. Her and I continued to chat and she made a comment "she's as hot as Chris (fake name for DH) described her."

I looked pretty shocked when she said that. She apologized extensively and mentioned my husband Chris has told her husband that we have a really hot nanny. She continued to assure me nothing fishy was up it was just the guys talking.


I feel really hurt. Obviously it's because I'm insecure because she's clearly attractive and 10 years younger than me. Should I bring it up to him?

. You are acting like an idiot. Me you should fire her and then hire a very old and ugly nanny. Do you honestly think men don't look at pretty women just because they are married? Now, if he has an affair with her, then you do have a problem.

It's not about whether married men find women they are not married to attractive, it's about making i frequent inappropriate comments.

[Anonymous]

Have you let yourself go, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

Yes. He needs a filter. Talking about someone other than his wife in a sexual way to others is inappropriate/bad judgment. Sure, he can find her attractive (after all, she is), but calling her “hot” ups the creep factor. That’s just not a way a married man should be talking about his nanny, nor is it the way an employer should be talking about his employee.

I’m a woman and this is exactly why men don’t talk to us
Let it go

No, men do talk to women. Little boys masquerading as men who believe they should have no accountability don't talk to women or talk about women like this. DH needs to get a filter, and they are all lucky , that hopefully, nanny doesn't know they are talking about her like this or they could have a legal problem on their hands.

You sound strict, bossy, and not very light-hearted about where this scenario could go. I am going to send you an e-hug. 🤗

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

Don’t you have some Gender Studies homework to complete?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I never said this in my post about considering firing her. That is outrageous.

I'm asking for advice if this is worth bringing up to my DH??

No.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are able to talk to each other about these things. If I interviewed a gorgeous young nanny I would’ve said something or he would’ve said something right away. It’s better to have that kind of thing to joke about than keep as a secret. If you don’t have that kind of relationship then yea I’d worry about comments to his friend. Unless you are very insecure and a jealous person.

What I would do now is jokingly bring it up to DH (don’t act hurt) and say, “oh Alice was looking super hot today, wasn’t she?” And see how he reacts. You can also mention actors or other people you find attractive once in awhile so it evens things out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't be insecure. You mentioned you found her quite pretty so you're DH probably does as well.

I would just let it go. If you have not noticed any red flags I would just move on. Though I would get a new nanny because I am crazy.

So for the new nanny because OP is insecure? That’s messed up. A 28 year old hot woman isn’t looking for a 40 year old dad. Nope. Nannies don’t want your old husbands.

They may if your husband is rich and attractive.

Or just rich. Let's not cool ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t bring it up to him. You both know she is pretty. He had enough sense to not make a distasteful comment to you directly about it.

Him telling a male friend the nanny is hot is just talk between friends. If we had a hot pool boy and I mentioned it to a girlfriend I wouldn’t expect my husband to be miffed. I don’t think he would care what so ever.

+1

+2
I had two hot nannies. You sound insecure. He was telling his friend. All I cared is that they were good with my kids.

No. It’s completely disrespectful to both the OP and THE NANNY to talk about her that way. Think whatever you want but keep your thoughts in your head. OP should call him out on it, not because she’s upset that he recognizes the nanny is attractive, but because he is commenting on that attractiveness to anyone other than OP. It’s totally inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Two possibilities to consider:

A threesome?

Hire a hot yard guy.

[Anonymous]

We have a male nanny who's hot. He's not my type, but I can recognize hotness when I see it. I'm totally in love with DH and would never ever cheat on him. And our nanny is fantastic with our kids and they love him to pieces - it's not like he was hired for his looks.

Relax. It's as if your husband was stating a fact, not a preference.