DH called our nanny hot

[Anonymous]

Did your husband start cuddling with the nanny on the couch when you got up to tinkle when you were all watching tv?
Did he rest his hand tenderly on hers during your romantic, candle-lit dinner for three?
Did he take her out for a quick 18 holes?
Did he invite her to a hunting weekend in western PA in the fall, leaving you with the kids.
These are some of the many classic “Nanny Red Flags,” and should be a cause for concern on your part.
But if not, no worries.
Next time, just don’t hire a hottie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DH's friends/colleagues texted him when he saw our then-new nanny out with our kids about how hot our nanny was. DH told me about the text, but didn't mention his reply... but I have no doubt he agreed. She is hot. If you're insecure enough for it to bother you or if you actually have a potential DH problem, don't hire a hot nanny. It didn't bother me because my DH is not going to have an affair with the nanny, and I'm not particularly insecure. But if it does bother you, you either need to get over it or let her go... you can't just let it fester indefinitely.

Honestly, how do you know your husband won't have an affair with the nanny? I can see your point about not letting it affect you but potential for cheating isn't something you know.

I am 100% sure my DH would not have an affair with our nanny. My DH is not really the affair type — way too busy & basically an introvert. However, I totally understand that an affair is always a theoretical possibility. That said, he would never, ever have an affair with someone responsible for watching our young kids and our nanny is not at all his type. You can believe me or not... but you really don’t know any women you can confidently say your DH would not cheat with?

[Anonymous]

People who are hot get attention from everyone - women, men, children, dogs. It would be very weird for people to not comment about someone's super attractiveness imo. Usually they do it discretely like "Johnny's mother is incredibly good looking isn't she?" to their mom friend over coffee. Spouses do it with each other too. Imo hiring a hot nanny and not putting it on the table that she is hot, you both know she is hot and making an inside joke of it, is a mistake.
The girl cannot help that she is very good looking.
I realised I was prejudiced against very pretty people some time ago, due to my upbringing. I try hard now not to make any assumptions about how easy/great someones life is or how smart they are based on good looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

Man, you are uptight! I'm sure you are not hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it’s kind of gross to me that these people even had a conversation about it. I get that it happens, but the idea of a group of people discussing the appearance of any woman behind their backs in these terms is sad to me. It’s sexual objectification of somebody who didn’t ask to be sexually objectified and that doesn’t seem okay to me. I don’t see how it’s that different from talking about somebody in an explicitly sexual way, like “she would be great in bed” or “her butt is super tight.” Why even have this conversation? Among grown adults? But that’s the way of the world I guess.

Your 1st post on the very first page didn't make enough of a statement, huh?
You had to launch into a whole diatribe using the exact same talking points.

Let's make sure we got all the same talking points from your first post in this one too, shall we?

It's gross - ✔
People talking about the nanny behind her back - ✔
Objectification - ✔

Now that you've made these exact points again for a second time... please... there's no reason for a third.

[Anonymous]

Your husband should not have feelings, OP.

Or he should depress them, or feel differently towards an attractive female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DH's friends/colleagues texted him when he saw our then-new nanny out with our kids about how hot our nanny was. DH told me about the text, but didn't mention his reply... but I have no doubt he agreed. She is hot. If you're insecure enough for it to bother you or if you actually have a potential DH problem, don't hire a hot nanny. It didn't bother me because my DH is not going to have an affair with the nanny, and I'm not particularly insecure. But if it does bother you, you either need to get over it or let her go... you can't just let it fester indefinitely.

Honestly, how do you know your husband won't have an affair with the nanny? I can see your point about not letting it affect you but potential for cheating isn't something you know.

I am 100% sure my DH would not have an affair with our nanny. My DH is not really the affair type — way too busy & basically an introvert. However, I totally understand that an affair is always a theoretical possibility. That said, he would never, ever have an affair with someone responsible for watching our young kids and our nanny is not at all his type. You can believe me or not... but you really don’t know any women you can confidently say your DH would not cheat with?

I know this is a tangent but can I just say it irritates me so much that people assume you can never be sure that your husband won’t sleep with the nanny? It’s like these people know an inordinate number of asshole men.

[Anonymous]

Young fresh energy in the house can do wonders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are hot get attention from everyone - women, men, children, dogs. It would be very weird for people to not comment about someone's super attractiveness imo. Usually they do it discretely like "Johnny's mother is incredibly good looking isn't she?" to their mom friend over coffee. Spouses do it with each other too. Imo hiring a hot nanny and not putting it on the table that she is hot, you both know she is hot and making an inside joke of it, is a mistake.
The girl cannot help that she is very good looking.
I realised I was prejudiced against very pretty people some time ago, due to my upbringing. I try hard now not to make any assumptions about how easy/great someones life is or how smart they are based on good looks.

Thank you for looking at this situation from another angle. That lends itself to a favorable opinion about your approach to life and learning. It is refreshing to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are gross for objectifying her like that. I bet she’d be mortified to learn of the gossip.

It happens to hot women all of time, and they get fired for it all the time. Life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read all the comments but am chiming as a 36 year old mother of 4 with a objectively hot, dancer/actress nanny who is late twenties and a very sexual husband.

She is a great nanny to our kids and they love her. I’m sure my husband looks at her amazing butt from time to time, but I trust him 100% and wouldn’t have had all these kids with him or hiring a younger hot nanny if I didn’t trust him.

Also, if the tables were turned it would be totally normal for my besties and I to mention the hot lawn guy or pool boy or whatever to each other. I don’t see the issue in this as long as there is no action or much disrespectful talk. We are humans, we have eyes!

Just my opinion but I am confident in my sex life and my intuition.

Well, when I was 36 y.o. I was mother of 1, after years of IF treatments and miscarriages. At that point I'd spent several years with the majority of time being pregnant or on hormone shots that swelled and bruised my body. So, excuse me if me, and people like me aren't as confident in our bodies as a 36 y.o. mother of 4.

I actually wouldn't have a problem with a hot, dancer/actress nanny. Our nanny of 7 years now was 24 when we hired her and is not unattractive (but also not a dancer/actress). But, yeah, when I finally had my first kid I wasn't a paragon of confidence...and I suspect that I was actually on the above average end of the confidence curve for someone in my situation.

So instead of chiming in about how crappy some women's relationships must be if they lack your level of confidence, maybe show some compassion that not everyone feels like you. I honestly can't imagine anything less tasteful than bragging about how confident you are. Either it means you aren't really confident and so need to put others down...or it means you are a sociopath who likes putting others down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DH's friends/colleagues texted him when he saw our then-new nanny out with our kids about how hot our nanny was. DH told me about the text, but didn't mention his reply... but I have no doubt he agreed. She is hot. If you're insecure enough for it to bother you or if you actually have a potential DH problem, don't hire a hot nanny. It didn't bother me because my DH is not going to have an affair with the nanny, and I'm not particularly insecure. But if it does bother you, you either need to get over it or let her go... you can't just let it fester indefinitely.

Honestly, how do you know your husband won't have an affair with the nanny? I can see your point about not letting it affect you but potential for cheating isn't something you know.

I am 100% sure my DH would not have an affair with our nanny. My DH is not really the affair type — way too busy & basically an introvert. However, I totally understand that an affair is always a theoretical possibility. That said, he would never, ever have an affair with someone responsible for watching our young kids and our nanny is not at all his type. You can believe me or not... but you really don’t know any women you can confidently say your DH would not cheat with?

I know this is a tangent but can I just say it irritates me so much that people assume you can never be sure that your husband won’t sleep with the nanny? It’s like these people know an inordinate number of asshole men.

p

Maybe there just are a lot of asshole men. The older successful man having an affair with a subordinate has been going on for decades.

[Anonymous]

Oh god. Can we please let this pathetic thread die?

[Anonymous]

I hired a guy to cut down a whole row of trees in the back of my yard one time. My wife and the neighbor lady on the other side of the road trees or on the phone to each other watching this guy and drooling over him. They watch that show for a couple of days. Women are no different than men in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I don't hire hot nannys lol

+1 that’s like rule number one in the hiring nanny book.

+1. NUMBER 1 RULE!!!