Grooming = cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A SAHM with kids doing DL is somehow finding time to have sex with someone else? And your only clue is a change in grooming habits? How on earth would that work? You think she’s sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night or something? I swear, op, if my dh came to me with that story and those questions, my head would explode. Both at the lack of trust, and the sheer stupidity of it.

My partner's AP had all kinds of BS excuses...the gym or going for a run was common and she would go to the Marriott down the road. She also had some stupid business that made deliveries which was a cover for being out of the house. She also had a couple of whore friends that all covered for each other when they were with their APs..even for overnights.

Yep. OP you already are being gaslighted which is evidenced by the fact you are questioning yourself over some pretty strong evidence and are afraid to even ask about her trimmed bush, much less cheating. I doubt she will outright admit the newly trimmed bush is for someone new, but you will open the dialogue. Personally, I think I would investigate first because it will save you years of being lied to and since you want to believe her, you will find yourself believing more and more outlandish things and she will have you second-guessing yourself not her. It is so common/text book for cheaters to play the 'you don't trust me. you are awful' card and for you to buy it.

I am really amazed by so many spouses afraid to ask their spouses the simplest questions as they arise. Why is everyone so afraid of their spouses? It speaks to lack of communication, if not outright emotional abuse that they are afraid to bring anything up.

I will say, never in 1,000 years would I have thought my spouse was having an affair. Never. And I questioned how he would have even pulled it off since he was never taking trips or going out without me and never late for dinner, etc. I even had password to his phone and we share appleID/cloud, etc. 2020 is so easy to do this stuff. And, once they start meeting experienced cheaters their knowledge expands exponentially on how to pull this off...even how to hack your location on an iphone---very easy to drop the pin somewhere else to make it look like you are somewhere you are not.

We are pretty much left with no means to reliably detect signs of cheating The lists you find on the Internet are so outdated. People are not that obvious.

Oh and, unlike you, are sex life never dropped off. We were having sex 3-4 times per week the past 20 years.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I've been experimenting with trimming, shaving, epilating and laser hair removal since just before COVID. For me it is self care and a way to feel more attractive overall (I've also been working out, losing a little weight, and deep diving into skincare and hair care, and fragrances). No affair here but boredom and a mild midlife crisis.

Enjoy, OP. Buy her a nice pair of thong panties as a.surprise gift. And maybe some Fur Oil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I've been experimenting with trimming, shaving, epilating and laser hair removal since just before COVID. For me it is self care and a way to feel more attractive overall (I've also been working out, losing a little weight, and deep diving into skincare and hair care, and fragrances). No affair here but boredom and a mild midlife crisis.

Enjoy, OP. Buy her a nice pair of thong panties as a.surprise gift. And maybe some Fur Oil.

This would be awesome encouragement.

(And congrats PP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go into details, but it's more hygienic and cuts down on odor, so maybe she read that somewhere and tried it.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair are more prone to infections. Hair has a biological purpose.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair get laid more, so their chances rise. Women who aren't getting laid don't bother with that, because why would they.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go into details, but it's more hygienic and cuts down on odor, so maybe she read that somewhere and tried it.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair are more prone to infections. Hair has a biological purpose.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair get laid more, so their chances rise. Women who aren't getting laid don't bother with that, because why would they.

Strippers, porn stars, hookers, everyday sluts and professional escorts are always clean-shaven. So you are correct that women with less pubic hair are getting laid more, and many are getting paid for it. These populations often have more infections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go into details, but it's more hygienic and cuts down on odor, so maybe she read that somewhere and tried it.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair are more prone to infections. Hair has a biological purpose.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair get laid more, so their chances rise. Women who aren't getting laid don't bother with that, because why would they.

I trim for me. I don’t like it when my bush is all unruly. It’s uncomfortable. So I keep it short. Was probably in my 30s when I learned about it, bought a trimmer, and tried it. I was not sleeping with anyone at the time.

Doesn’t seem like a sign of an affair to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go into details, but it's more hygienic and cuts down on odor, so maybe she read that somewhere and tried it.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair are more prone to infections. Hair has a biological purpose.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair get laid more, so their chances rise. Women who aren't getting laid don't bother with that, because why would they.

Really? Once a woman has her panties off you look at her bush and say, "oh, never mind? Think I'll go home and masturbate instead"

I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I've been experimenting with trimming, shaving, epilating and laser hair removal since just before COVID. For me it is self care and a way to feel more attractive overall (I've also been working out, losing a little weight, and deep diving into skincare and hair care, and fragrances). No affair here but boredom and a mild midlife crisis.

Enjoy, OP. Buy her a nice pair of thong panties as a.surprise gift. And maybe some Fur Oil.

This would be awesome encouragement.

(And congrats PP)

Agree. And why don't you just tell her you liked the trimming? Bring it up in a non-accusatory, wherever did you get that idea, and an Oh-let's-try-some-new-shit!-Do-you-want-me-to-trim-my-balls? sort of way.

[Anonymous]

I don't know,op. Sounds like she initiated and wanted to surprise/please you. She needs encouragement, not accusations of cheating. You're about to blow up your marriage for flawed suspicions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go into details, but it's more hygienic and cuts down on odor, so maybe she read that somewhere and tried it.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair are more prone to infections. Hair has a biological purpose.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair get laid more, so their chances rise. Women who aren't getting laid don't bother with that, because why would they.

I trim for me. I don’t like it when my bush is all unruly. It’s uncomfortable. So I keep it short. Was probably in my 30s when I learned about it, bought a trimmer, and tried it. I was not sleeping with anyone at the time.

Doesn’t seem like a sign of an affair to me.

Is she wearing leggings most of the time now ? Working out more? It might be a comfort thing

[Anonymous]

The back story coupled WITH the secret grooming is what tips me to the “cheating camp”.

[Anonymous]

OP here, she said she did it before her gyn appointment. So congrats, I suppose, to the PP who suggested that.

I told her it was hot and she eye-rolled me. So that issue is still there. Not sure if I am better off with an innocent explanation and just to go back to the sad loser but here we are.

[Anonymous]

As a woman- yes. She did it for herself. Believe it or not, women make decisions for their own benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, she said she did it before her gyn appointment. So congrats, I suppose, to the PP who suggested that.

I told her it was hot and she eye-rolled me. So that issue is still there. Not sure if I am better off with an innocent explanation and just to go back to the sad loser but here we are.

Guy: OP i’m divorced and hearing your story I’d say that unless you ‘fix’ the sex part your marriage is done. That goes for both of you. Life is too short to put up with this sort of crap. She probably has worked that out and is waiting for the opportunity. Even if that isn’t the case now it soon will be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know,op. Sounds like she initiated and wanted to surprise/please you. She needs encouragement, not accusations of cheating. You're about to blow up your marriage for flawed suspicions

This.

She groomed for you and expected a reaction. You blew it.

I groom extra short when I expect oral.