Grooming = cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I'd say she's probably cheating or at least sending naked pics. I can't believe how naive some of the PPs are. At least you noticed, unlike my husband (which explains why I was cheating in the first place...) Does she have the opportunity to meet up with someone?

OP here, that's the thing - she is a SAHM and we have elearners. They are both old enough she could in theory leave the house for an hour but I don't think she is. She is very cautious about COVID. But the idea she is sexting someone is definitely possible.

Did your husband cut you off? If so, I don't judge you for cheating, but in my case, I have always been the one pursuing her and would be upset if she is turning me down for someone new. Also, she knows I am open to the discussion of opening our marriage or some accommodation - like someone said below, three months is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Guy : Is this a thing now? Most women in my age group do it (45+), at least the ones I’ve hooked up with post divorce. But my ex didn’t

What I meant was - how common is to be grooming - ie shave it all

[Anonymous]

It’s quite possible she’s not turned on by you and is seeing someone new. I found out my wife was cheating in a similar manner and was blown away since she was never a sex kitten in our own home, well at least not with me in our home. If there has been so much talk of opening relationship, she might be looking for an exit. Exit affair.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes random decisions get made. I'm a guy but every now and then I randomly decide to trim the nether regions or randomly shave my back. A couple of times I used body hair removed on the majority of my body. Sometimes you just look in the mirror, or you're sitting around just feeling like your body hair looks unkempt. My wife usually trims but sometimes lets it grow out. I think it's just random. COVID made people bored and gave them more random stuff to think about. I notice a lot more people fixing up their houses that never did before either. Same phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

if this was a wife talking about a husband he would be a dog and cheating and telling her to lawyer up. She is cheating on you. no doubt in my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if this was a wife talking about a husband he would be a dog and cheating and telling her to lawyer up. She is cheating on you. no doubt in my mind.

+100

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's highly suspicious if she never cared about shaving before and she didn't even mention it to you. So I'm curious what was your reaction. Did you say hey honey that's really hot and then discuss it or did you just ignore it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a pandemic going on. No one is cheating with people they are not bubbling with.

She is bored and tried out something new. Are you always so narrow minded and suspicious.

OP here, I am not narrow minded. In fact, I have raised the idea of exploring non-monogamy because I don't see the situation as sustainable long-term. But anyway, I wouldn't have been suspicious if she mentioned it as a "hey honey" but more that I found it. Zero chance she did it to spice things up.

You are half right. Yes: the situation is not sustainable. No: she does not get to vote on your non-monogamy solution to her uninterested-sexless problem. If she’s not on board with a normal active sex life, simply declare your marriage open. Asexuals cannot have fidelity when partnered with a normal person.

Sounds like OP's wife has already declared it open... for her. Come on now. No one grooms for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never cheated, and in fact have been cheated on and am therefore pretty quick to assume cheating, but......

Sometimes women just trim things up because they are feeling otherwise kind of ugh. Particularly in a pandemic.

I really don't think this is a big deal at all that she trimmed stuff down there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a pandemic going on. No one is cheating with people they are not bubbling with.

She is bored and tried out something new. Are you always so narrow minded and suspicious.

OP here, I am not narrow minded. In fact, I have raised the idea of exploring non-monogamy because I don't see the situation as sustainable long-term. But anyway, I wouldn't have been suspicious if she mentioned it as a "hey honey" but more that I found it. Zero chance she did it to spice things up.

You are half right. Yes: the situation is not sustainable. No: she does not get to vote on your non-monogamy solution to her uninterested-sexless problem. If she’s not on board with a normal active sex life, simply declare your marriage open. Asexuals cannot have fidelity when partnered with a normal person.

Sounds like OP's wife has already declared it open... for her. Come on now. No one grooms for themselves.

Yep. And I think she is doing it out of resentment. He said he was the one that always wanted more sex and pushed for opening the marriage. This most likely upset her to a great degree....so she thought 'f*ck you' and got her self an account on Ashley Madison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she have a gyn appointment recently? Totally normal to groom before you go to the gyn.

Also normal to cut it short every once in a while.

Did you mention it? It’s typically a signal to go down.

Op says this is normal for HER. Try to keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a pandemic going on. No one is cheating with people they are not bubbling with.

She is bored and tried out something new. Are you always so narrow minded and suspicious.

OP here, I am not narrow minded. In fact, I have raised the idea of exploring non-monogamy because I don't see the situation as sustainable long-term. But anyway, I wouldn't have been suspicious if she mentioned it as a "hey honey" but more that I found it. Zero chance she did it to spice things up.

You are half right. Yes: the situation is not sustainable. No: she does not get to vote on your non-monogamy solution to her uninterested-sexless problem. If she’s not on board with a normal active sex life, simply declare your marriage open. Asexuals cannot have fidelity when partnered with a normal person.

Sounds like OP's wife has already declared it open... for her. Come on now. No one grooms for themselves.

Yep. And I think she is doing it out of resentment. He said he was the one that always wanted more sex and pushed for opening the marriage. This most likely upset her to a great degree....so she thought 'f*ck you' and got her self an account on Ashley Madison.

testing the waters first. most definitely. if she finds one she likes and he's willing...exit affair to soften the landing. if she doesn't have a job, she will definitely be looking for a guy to support her before leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a pandemic going on. No one is cheating with people they are not bubbling with.

She is bored and tried out something new. Are you always so narrow minded and suspicious.

This is rich coming from someone who believes "no one is cheating with people they are not bubbling with" because there's a pandemic going on.

It's a PRIVATE BUBBLE. How DARE you judge my BUBBLE! My BUBBLE is safe. Just because my husband doesn't KNOW who is in my bubble doesn't make it your F'ing BUSINESS! My. Pandemic. Bubble!

My bubble. My business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to go into details, but it's more hygienic and cuts down on odor, so maybe she read that somewhere and tried it.

Wrong. Women with less pubic hair are more prone to infections. Hair has a biological purpose.

I agree that removing all the hair isn't good, and that it it promotes infection. But I do like to trim because my bush can get, well, very bushy. So, I take the scissors and trim her down. Shave the edges. But never get rid of her entirely. Also, yes, it is less of a mouthful when DH is going down on me.

[Anonymous]

OP here, do I ask her? Our sex life is hanging by a thread as is, and the last thing I need is tension about this. I have zero desire to play sleuth, sounds exhausting.

I would like to know if she is cheating or planning to leave so I can plan accordingly