“Can you serve me some?” How would you reply?
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Anonymous
I would have sent them packing then and there. |
Anonymous
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I understand. We hosted a baptism reception and I had my hands full with the baby. I had put the food out buffet style. Then during the buffet my mom was like, “fix your niece a plate”. (Shouldn’t her parents do that?).
Annoying. When it’s a buffet, people take care of themselves or help those immediately related to them. |
Anonymous
| How long is it taking to make the kids plates? Why is he waiting until after the kids? Why can’t be go first through the buffet? Why not just have him be served first. I don’t know why this is a big deal? If he asks for things not at the table I’d simply respond like anyone would-it is in the kitchen feel free to help yourself to anything you need n |
Anonymous
| Knowing that he's going to do this, I would just get ahead of it by encouraging him to get in line first. "FIL, we're ready to start. Why don't you lead off the buffet line? I'll follow you with plates for the kids." |
Anonymous
Technically if he is an elder guest then you should be serving him and his wife first. I don't understand why you don't know that but you should have learned this when you were a kid. So actually you're the one being rude, not him, if you're serving other people before him and his wife. |
Anonymous
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Oh, cognitive decline and anxiety. Sounds exactly like my FIL.
If you understand this about him and realize he is not doing this to annoy you then you will be far more likely to handle it the way that is satisfactory to you and your FIL. |
Anonymous
+ 1 There are many ways to handle this. OP needs to first get over her annoyance and react like an adult. |
Anonymous
NP. When things are served family style, normally everyone serves themselves from a dish closest to them and then passes the dishes around the table. Elderly served first? I generally serve my kids first so I can make sure the baby and toddler's food gets cut and cooled down. Then when we sit down I don't have to spend 5 minutes doing that while everyone else eats. |
Anonymous
"Sure. I will serve you as soon as I have plated the shrimp for x and y. In the meanwhile, can you grab a fork for x and a napkin for y and pass it along?" Isn't this how most functional families interact? |
Anonymous
| OP could you come back and shut down the elders eat first posters who are saying youre rude, please? I'm on your side. It sounds like FIL is not interested in being served first but maybe that approach would work? "Would you like to get your plate first, FIL?" |
Anonymous
60 is old. Ok. I work with people that are 60. Our retirement age is 67 years. 80 is old. If a person is too befuddled and confused to be able to put a plate together at a buffet at 60-65 years of age then I think they should go for a medical straight away because that is not normal. |
Anonymous
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Who knew there were so many rules!?
But, at any rate, maybe some of these help? Though, I wonder - for all of the women who are saying FIL should get over the paradigm that he should be served, do you believe a man should hand a woman a plate and invited to go first? "Follow these simple buffet etiquette rules: When you arrive to the buffet, first look around the buffet set up, where bread, salads, soups, main dishes, sides, desserts are. As well as where the plates, bowls, glasses are. Last but not least where the buffet line begins If the buffet has different sections, choose the section you want to start with A buffet line should go in on direction, unless the same food is served from two opposing sides and two line are used There is no need to serve yourself your whole meal in one round, you can start with salads and appetizers, then come for main course and sides and later come for dessert When you take your plate, do not cut any line, start serving yourself from the area where the buffet begins and follow the line A man should offer a woman a plate from the buffet and to go first Never start against the line in opposite direction to everyone or in the middle of a line When you serve yourself always use service utensils never personal utensils Always put back service utensil on the designated dish and not on another food plate Do not use the same service utensil for other foods (it can spoil/contaminate food, also dangerous for people with allergies) Do not get to close to the person ahead of you, give them room to serve themselves Do not serve yourself over someone else Never push or say something unkind to the person ahead When serving yourself do not take too long, people are waiting, so be considerate If you are not sure of what you want keep walking and come back when you decided, but do not stop the line Never serve yourself more than you can or plan to eat Buffets are regularly refilled so no need to take more than necessary, finish and come for more if you wish When going to the buffet avoid having too many things in your hands it could lead to messy accidents Do not make negative comments about the food, some people might love what you don’t and vice versa When you go for seconds no need to bring your used plate you can take a new plate at the buffet When eating a buffet meal always follow regular dining etiquette (fork left, knife right, napkin on your lap, napkin on your chair or table when you get up…) It is acceptable to start eating before everyone is at the table, since buffet dining can be long and people might choose different foods, cold, hot the rule for waiting does not apply When kids are part of the meal, explain to them what to do and not to do and help them at the buffet, do not leave them alone, there are hot foods and it can be dangerous and messy, once kids are served you can serve yourself Do not eat while in line or from the buffet directly Do not touch food with your hands always use serving utensils Do not forget to be patient, everyone in line is in the same situation you are, so be polite The wait staff will clean your table as dinner progresses and clear the table taking away used dishes and glasses, so do not forget to tip them It is not acceptable to take out left over buffet food http://goodmannersandetiquette.com/buffet-etiquette/ |
Anonymous
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Are they living with you, OP? Are they helpful? |
Anonymous
As someone who studied 1800s, 1900s and modern etiquette guides for her thesis: food served buffet style is self-serve unless you are physically incapable. If we’re talking family style or plated, you’d have a leg to stand on but that’s not the case. |
Anonymous
Lol. “The hostess” has spoken. It’s not the 1950’s anymore. Keep up. |