Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call him and say who you are. Don't hide behind a letter he may not get.

This.

[Anonymous]

A lesson in why people shouldn’t cheat.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely do it. I respect whistle-blowers.

Only the guilty ones are saying negative things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

Thank you, pp. This is exactly what stops me from doing it. I know she is a vile, nasty person with zero self-esteem and will continue being unhappy because she hates her life, her husband and doesn’t even like her kids very much. She hated her parents too.

I am working through PTSD and when the triggers come it is rough going, but I think if my own kids and that’s what’s keeping me together (barely) for now.

I know living well is the best revenge. I was. That’s especially made her angry or “jealous” as she told me. It will take time. From what I am told, minimum of two years- probably longer.

Venting here helps.

So he chose a vile, nasty person with no self esteem over you. Where does that put you in the line up? Since you’re staying, how much self esteem do you have?

You sound like my neighbor who catches her husband every year or so....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely do it. I respect whistle-blowers.

Only the guilty ones are saying negative things.

+1

Bring it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Is this the one that f@cked his wife 3-4 times per week and the AP 1-2 times per month and dropped the AP? I don’t think the AP was ever “winning”. Lol

[Anonymous]

Fix your own house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely do it. I respect whistle-blowers.

Only the guilty ones are saying negative things.

+1

Bring it, OP.

+100

The cheaters are the nasty ones.

TEAM OP (Honesty and Integrity)

[Anonymous]

Neither. Take the high road.

[Anonymous]

Just do it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither. Take the high road.

It's not taking the high road to leave this poor man in the dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I will tell you this. I had a DH who cheated for years and I didn't know. One friend told me about one affair and I was completely devastated. Another told me about the others once we had split up. I was devastated again and it completely crushed my confidence in myself for YEARS.

I didn't need to know about all the details, I didn't benefit at all.

Please do not send a letter to this poor man.

You look like an idiot if all your friends know except for you, is that really how you wanted your life to carry on? I would rather know and have the chance to live in reality, grieve, and then move on.

I was going to say, what a kind, thoughtful and considered response to this you've written. But then I realized you can't read properly. No one said "all your friends know" - you're just making assumptions based on your own narrow view of the world.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman, never cheated or been cheated on. I would be highly tempted to do the same. But don’t. It isn’t a good look to do this. It looks scornful and as if you are incapable of moving on.

Live a good life, find something that brings your happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither. Take the high road.

It's not taking the high road to leave this poor man in the dark.

Yes, it is. Because his marriage isn’t OP’s business.

[Anonymous]

Both. The DH deserves to know the truth of his own marriage. Let him protect himself and his health.