Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

I would want to know.
Please stick to facts. This man is not your friend. You are doing the decent thing because it’s right, not for his gratitude.
Both communications.
Thank you, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are the one who always posts on different threads about Ashley Madison, your husband's confessions that he doesn't like the other woman, and what your therapist says, please send the letter and let this go for your own good.

[Anonymous]

I think you need the closure. Send it.

[Anonymous]

Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

Thank you, pp. This is exactly what stops me from doing it. I know she is a vile, nasty person with zero self-esteem and will continue being unhappy because she hates her life, her husband and doesn’t even like her kids very much. She hated her parents too.

I am working through PTSD and when the triggers come it is rough going, but I think if my own kids and that’s what’s keeping me together (barely) for now.

I know living well is the best revenge. I was. That’s especially made her angry or “jealous” as she told me. It will take time. From what I am told, minimum of two years- probably longer.

Venting here helps.

[Anonymous]

Her husband is a serial cheater too. Has she left yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

This

[Anonymous]

I did it, but I also knew him as we were all friends so it was not anonymous. My stuff was packed and I was out the same day. OP are you still together? If you are doing it to have someone join your misery than no. If you are doing it for closure and to move on, yes. Don’t be weak.

[Anonymous]

The whore isn’t worth your time of day, OP.

Continue to live your life with integrity and hold your head high.

Life will deal with her...and it won’t be kind.

[Anonymous]

Worry about your life and what you are going to do, the fallout will happen with or without your help

[Anonymous]

I think it’s better if she has to live with the possibility you could do this at any point and time...no matter how much time has passed.

Always looking over her shoulder, knowing the hammer could drop at any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

Thank you, pp. This is exactly what stops me from doing it. I know she is a vile, nasty person with zero self-esteem and will continue being unhappy because she hates her life, her husband and doesn’t even like her kids very much. She hated her parents too.

I am working through PTSD and when the triggers come it is rough going, but I think if my own kids and that’s what’s keeping me together (barely) for now.

I know living well is the best revenge. I was. That’s especially made her angry or “jealous” as she told me. It will take time. From what I am told, minimum of two years- probably longer.

Venting here helps.

So you haven’t left. You’re the chump. He won’t stop.

[Anonymous]

Call him and say who you are. Don't hide behind a letter he may not get.

[Anonymous]

Been there, don't bother. Here is what you do. Tell your DH you want a divorce and you have all the evidence and you are going to call OW to testify. UNLESS he gives you the divorce settlement you want.

Done. Got what I wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strategically thinking, I would not send it. At this point, you have some small degree of leverage over this woman, with her knowing that you can always tell her husband. You lose that as soon as you communicate with him. Once you lose that leverage, there’s nothing to stop her from lashing out at you if she is in anyway part of your community. Or even if she is not. While completely explicable and she has brought consequences upon herself, sending the letter is an act of aggression Even if deserved. Regardless how deserve, no, be ready for aggression to be met with counter aggression. Perhaps in ways you would not expect. Toward your kids, toward your employer, toward your spouse, you just don’t know. Just be ready for it. And remember, she is a serial cheater, so doesn’t feel bound to tell the truth. I would be very careful.

Thank you, pp. This is exactly what stops me from doing it. I know she is a vile, nasty person with zero self-esteem and will continue being unhappy because she hates her life, her husband and doesn’t even like her kids very much. She hated her parents too.

I am working through PTSD and when the triggers come it is rough going, but I think if my own kids and that’s what’s keeping me together (barely) for now.

I know living well is the best revenge. I was. That’s especially made her angry or “jealous” as she told me. It will take time. From what I am told, minimum of two years- probably longer.

Venting here helps.

Just remember your DH who F*cked her is also a vile, nasty, unhappy person with low self esteem who didn't love you and your family enough to turn down her nasty @ss. Just divorce him.