Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

Isn’t that what people with au pairs do?

Um, no. What a weird thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

Thanks the problem is that she lives with us
So where would she quarantine?!
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to her
She doesn’t take the risk seriously so she thinks it’s perfectly fine to go and stay with friends for the weekend
I’m not sure we could trust her to self quarantine as she thinks it’s ok to meet with other people who she believes are being careful, whatever that means

If she has her own entrance and vehicle and a private space within the home, that means she can quarantine there.

OP no we won’t permit that as the kids could run out to see her and we don’t want to take that risk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

Interesting thoughts thanks
She goes home for two months every year!
We certainly all feel like prisoners but at least we’re safe and flattening the curve

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

Thanks the problem is that she lives with us
So where would she quarantine?!
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to her
She doesn’t take the risk seriously so she thinks it’s perfectly fine to go and stay with friends for the weekend
I’m not sure we could trust her to self quarantine as she thinks it’s ok to meet with other people who she believes are being careful, whatever that means

If she has her own entrance and vehicle and a private space within the home, that means she can quarantine there.

OP no we won’t permit that as the kids could run out to see her and we don’t want to take that risk

You can't control your kids for the 30 seconds it would take for her to get out of her and walk in the door?

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness. Please free that poor woman, Op. You sound completely ridiculous.

No way would I work for you. NO WAY.

[Anonymous]

You seriously think that you own this woman and have the right to control her like that?

There are no words....you have a tyrant mentality which is awful.

[Anonymous]

This is such a tough situation. I have friends with au pairs who are in similar straights. I honestly don't know what is fair.

The nanny is an adult who has to make decisions about herself.

What she does impacts you.

On the one hand, it seems your right to protect your family, and that means extreme measures. It also seems crazy to pay someone 24-7 for doing what is reasonable under the circumstances (staying with you).

On the other, it doesn't seem reasonable to demand she stay - or even humane, given she is an adult.

What would happen if you presented her with these thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a tough situation. I have friends with au pairs who are in similar straights. I honestly don't know what is fair.

The nanny is an adult who has to make decisions about herself.

What she does impacts you.

On the one hand, it seems your right to protect your family, and that means extreme measures. It also seems crazy to pay someone 24-7 for doing what is reasonable under the circumstances (staying with you).

On the other, it doesn't seem reasonable to demand she stay - or even humane, given she is an adult.

What would happen if you presented her with these thoughts?

We have had several discussions with her now over the last few weeks
The big disconnect is that we disagree on the definition of social distancing
We can’t and won’t control what she does outside of our home but we’re not going to take any chances either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

Thanks the problem is that she lives with us
So where would she quarantine?!
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to her
She doesn’t take the risk seriously so she thinks it’s perfectly fine to go and stay with friends for the weekend
I’m not sure we could trust her to self quarantine as she thinks it’s ok to meet with other people who she believes are being careful, whatever that means

If she has her own entrance and vehicle and a private space within the home, that means she can quarantine there.

OP no we won’t permit that as the kids could run out to see her and we don’t want to take that risk

You’re aware of the footprint of their home and the dynamics of their kids and family??

You can't control your kids for the 30 seconds it would take for her to get out of her and walk in the door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

OP she’s packing up and excited to leave. This is totally her decision

Not completely. You had told her that if she leaves she can not return so her options are either to never leave the house or to leave and not return. She is choosing option 2 but her options were very limited.

She leaves twice a day
she goes running in the mornings and she goes for a drive in the evenings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

Poor Op. She just can not win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

I think tenancy laws are different when the housing is provided as a benefit of employment, but I imagine any covid-related stay on evictions would probably apply to employment-related housing as well, so OP very well may not be able to bar the nanny from he house without significant legal consequences.

Poor Op. She just can not win!

OP - she’s happy to leave though. I don’t see this changing unfortunately