Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

Our nanny has lived with us for years, she usually leaves on weekends to stay with friends but hasn’t left for the last six weeks. On recent weekends she either works with us and gets paid over time, or does her own thing. She has her own private space within our home, with a separate entrance and free access to our car.
This week she told us that she now wants to leave on weekends to stay with her friends, she misses socializing and she believes that they’ve also been social distancing so it will be ok for her to spend the weekends with them. They are all young and her friends rent apartments and have room mates.
We told her that obviously she’s welcome to leave any time, but she won’t be able to come back this time as we’re taking the shelter in place directive seriously.
Do you think we’re being unreasonable?
We both work and need the help, and we won’t replace her given the current dynamic, but she’s been here and knows that we literally haven’t left our property for two months so we’re not going to be ok with her leaving

[Anonymous]

I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

Thanks the problem is that she lives with us
So where would she quarantine?!
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to her
She doesn’t take the risk seriously so she thinks it’s perfectly fine to go and stay with friends for the weekend
I’m not sure we could trust her to self quarantine as she thinks it’s ok to meet with other people who she believes are being careful, whatever that means

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you are being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard for her and it must be lonely but in this case you are right.

[Anonymous]

No. She can leave but she can’t come back.

[Anonymous]

You are not being unreasonable. You have to protect your family and you mental well being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not being unreasonable. You have to protect your family and you mental well being.

+1

[Anonymous]

Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

[Anonymous]

Have you paid her overtime for staying at your house the last 6 weeks? You may have to back pay her the for the last 6 weeks that you required her to stay on your campus.

Understand, if you are not paying her for her time, you can't dictate what she does in her off hours.

Pay her, pay her back pay, and/or lay her off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

We are paying her fairly, generously and in compliance with all laws.
She’s not working or even on call 24x7
She got a check from the government last week and she’s told us that she wants to get a job that pays cash while collecting unemployment. This is what her friends are doing apparently

[Anonymous]

I did not read that she is dictating her time, she’s free to leave .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny has lived with us for years, she usually leaves on weekends to stay with friends but hasn’t left for the last six weeks. On recent weekends she either works with us and gets paid over time, or does her own thing. She has her own private space within our home, with a separate entrance and free access to our car.
This week she told us that she now wants to leave on weekends to stay with her friends, she misses socializing and she believes that they’ve also been social distancing so it will be ok for her to spend the weekends with them. They are all young and her friends rent apartments and have room mates.
We told her that obviously she’s welcome to leave any time, but she won’t be able to come back this time as we’re taking the shelter in place directive seriously.
Do you think we’re being unreasonable?
We both work and need the help, and we won’t replace her given the current dynamic, but she’s been here and knows that we literally haven’t left our property for two months so we’re not going to be ok with her leaving

It is unreasonable if you are not paying her around the clock to be in your house on the weekends. No pay, no stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you paid her overtime for staying at your house the last 6 weeks? You may have to back pay her the for the last 6 weeks that you required her to stay on your campus.

Understand, if you are not paying her for her time, you can't dictate what she does in her off hours.

Pay her, pay her back pay, and/or lay her off.

Yes as I mentioned above we pay over time which is at a premium rate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny has lived with us for years, she usually leaves on weekends to stay with friends but hasn’t left for the last six weeks. On recent weekends she either works with us and gets paid over time, or does her own thing. She has her own private space within our home, with a separate entrance and free access to our car.
This week she told us that she now wants to leave on weekends to stay with her friends, she misses socializing and she believes that they’ve also been social distancing so it will be ok for her to spend the weekends with them. They are all young and her friends rent apartments and have room mates.
We told her that obviously she’s welcome to leave any time, but she won’t be able to come back this time as we’re taking the shelter in place directive seriously.
Do you think we’re being unreasonable?
We both work and need the help, and we won’t replace her given the current dynamic, but she’s been here and knows that we literally haven’t left our property for two months so we’re not going to be ok with her leaving

It is unreasonable if you are not paying her around the clock to be in your house on the weekends. No pay, no stay.

She does her own thing on the weekends
If she works she gets paid
She’s lived with us for years and often relaxes here on weekends
Her own personal safety is at risk is she socializes