Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, two of my adult kids share an apartment about 20 minutes from our home. When all this started, we told the girls that they needed to make a choice. They could stay here with us if they wanted to. But they couldn’t go back and forth. These are my own kids, and they aren’t allowed to visit right now. It sucks for all of us. I totally understand them wanting to stay in their own space. And they understand why they can’t come here right now.

You are doing the right thing. It’s not a quarantine if everyone isn’t staying at home.

Thanks for this voice of reason
And I’m sorry that you’re separated from your kids
I’m worried that our nanny isn’t thinking this through but she doesn’t want to hear that

[Anonymous]

It’s simply too much for an employer to ask an employee to forego the outside world and quarantine indefinitely at their house. I’m sorry but that’s a much bigger sacrifice than you are making OP.

Your nanny has been a good sport for a month and a half. I think she’s starting to realize you’re not going to want her to see anyone aside from your family for months... How long would you last away from your family/friends living with your boss? Your nanny is young. You’re asking for sacrifices most people wouldn’t make.

She’s going to leave.

[Anonymous]

The responses defending the nanny for wanting to leave are ridiculous.

It’s time to part ways. This is a pandemic and she’s putting your family at risk because she’s bored. You have been more than kind and fair. Tell her if she leaves she cannot come back. Pack up and go.

Keep your family safe. It will be much less stressful when she leaves.

[Anonymous]

I commend the nanny for having this conversation. She could have seen friends and simply not told you. I would be sympathetic, but make her choose. It's a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s simply too much for an employer to ask an employee to forego the outside world and quarantine indefinitely at their house. I’m sorry but that’s a much bigger sacrifice than you are making OP.

Your nanny has been a good sport for a month and a half. I think she’s starting to realize you’re not going to want her to see anyone aside from your family for months... How long would you last away from your family/friends living with your boss? Your nanny is young. You’re asking for sacrifices most people wouldn’t make.

She’s going to leave.

The nanny has had a safe and reliable place to live, secure income with over time and a bunch of other perks
Nobody is seeing their friends right now
It’s too dangerous

[Anonymous]

Are you paying her on the books? If not, she won’t be able to collect unemployment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her priorities differ from yours in the area of safety. Time to part ways.

Yes that’s a good synopsis!
Thanks

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her on the books? If not, she won’t be able to collect unemployment.

Yes with over time
Also she collected her cares check last week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

We are paying her fairly, generously and in compliance with all laws.
She’s not working or even on call 24x7
She got a check from the government last week and she’s told us that she wants to get a job that pays cash while collecting unemployment. This is what her friends are doing apparently

That's not really your business. You don't sound very empathetic to how incredibly hard it would be to have to quarantine in your employer's home. If you need her, make this situation worth it to her. Otherwise, why wouldn't she want to crash with friends and collect?

Honestly it’s not great for us either!
The deal was that she wouldn’t be here on weekends
Now she’s around, we’re sharing our space and car too

Np I think you need her more so prepare to find someone else!

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

This all seems fine. She’s electing to leave - that’s also fine and allowed. The quarantine situation doesn’t suit her. I think it’s appropriate for you to agree to fire her given the whole situation so she can collect unemployment. Since you’re not paying her for the weekend, she visits her friends and then you fire her because now she can’t meet your quarantine needs. The end.

[Anonymous]

What does your contract with her say about termination? How much notice do you need to give? Also, are you under dc law her landlord and is she a tenant? If so, what are the requirements of notice etc? You aren’t just letting her stay in your home, it is part of her agreed upon compensation. You are essentially telling her she cannot come back to her home based on her visiting with others during the pandemic. I don’t know if that is allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This all seems fine. She’s electing to leave - that’s also fine and allowed. The quarantine situation doesn’t suit her. I think it’s appropriate for you to agree to fire her given the whole situation so she can collect unemployment. Since you’re not paying her for the weekend, she visits her friends and then you fire her because now she can’t meet your quarantine needs. The end.

We’re not going to fire her as we don’t want to create any additional liability
We’re on good terms and she’s leaving of her own choice

[Anonymous]

Would you want to stay at the office every weekend for over 6 weeks?

You’re being unreasonable. After a week of living with my sister’s family to help her with a newborn, I was dying to go home! (Years ago.)

Give her a week or 2 weeks of pay and let her go, but say when this is all over you can each contact each other if you want to work together again, if either of you want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your contract with her say about termination? How much notice do you need to give? Also, are you under dc law her landlord and is she a tenant? If so, what are the requirements of notice etc? You aren’t just letting her stay in your home, it is part of her agreed upon compensation. You are essentially telling her she cannot come back to her home based on her visiting with others during the pandemic. I don’t know if that is allowed.

She’s required to give us two weeks notice.
She has been asking for weeks to leave on weekends and we mutually agreed that we’d made a decision on May 1
Her decision is to resign and leave permanently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you want to stay at the office every weekend for over 6 weeks?

You’re being unreasonable. After a week of living with my sister’s family to help her with a newborn, I was dying to go home! (Years ago.)

Give her a week or 2 weeks of pay and let her go, but say when this is all over you can each contact each other if you want to work together again, if either of you want to.

It wouldn’t suit me either, honestly having her around all the time is annoying
But she wanted a live in job and that’s her preference
She could come back but she’d need to quarantine and she doesn’t have her own place to live