Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

Your nanny sounds like a total loser. Do you want someone that careless and with terrible morals (stealing from the government) helping raise your kids? Teaching them her (lack of) morals? Say goodbye to this loser!

- nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your contract with her say about termination? How much notice do you need to give? Also, are you under dc law her landlord and is she a tenant? If so, what are the requirements of notice etc? You aren’t just letting her stay in your home, it is part of her agreed upon compensation. You are essentially telling her she cannot come back to her home based on her visiting with others during the pandemic. I don’t know if that is allowed.

She’s required to give us two weeks notice.
She has been asking for weeks to leave on weekends and we mutually agreed that we’d made a decision on May 1
Her decision is to resign and leave permanently

Your nanny came to you this morning and said she’s leaving permanently? You just started this thread last night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

Isn’t that what people with au pairs do?

[Anonymous]

So she resigned instead of being fired. I'd get clarification of that in an email. I'm not sure that she qualifies for unemployment.

[Anonymous]

People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

OP hasn’t left their property in 2 months and expects her nanny to do the same. Most of us are at least going for walks and going to the store.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is a huge risk to go to a friend's house if they have been at home as well. If both are pretty much closed systems then the risk is very low.

I would probably make the same call if I was in my 20s. A job is a job, it isn't the entirety of life as I would not want to be at work with my employers 24/7 with no sense of when I would be able to leave. She may well be able to get another job where she isn't trapped around the clock for months on end. And she may be able to do that safely.

I have no idea how anxious OP is about the pandemic but reading many of the posts on here... I couldn't last six weeks living with many of you! Also likely her day to day routine has changed a lot in terms of her job and there isn't enough benefit to stay. We have no idea what it has been like for the nanny.

[Anonymous]

You can decide whatever you want for yourself but of course she is free to go. I wouldn't then be comfortable having her back in my home but unless you're paying her for 24/7/365 AND she agreed to it-what you want is to own her and you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she resigned instead of being fired. I'd get clarification of that in an email. I'm not sure that she qualifies for unemployment.

It's an interesting legal question--because the conditions of her employment did change with the quarantine rules so possibly she would be eligible based on that. She's going to have to think about that if she files a claim, because she will be asked why she no longer has the job and you will also be asked why you are no longer employing her. OTOH if her wanting freedom to socialize and there is a lockdown banning nonessential visits that might work in your favor. If she wanted benefits she would have been better off waiting a few weeks until official restrictions are eased and then she could argue the conditions of work changing if you still required quarantine. At the same time, if you have also not allowed her to do things like go out for essential shopping or outdoor exercise that might work against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be OK with her leaving and coming back. Sounds like that crowd is not taking it seriously as you. I’d offer her some choices and let her decide.

Two weeks quarantine at least and if she doesn’t have vacation time, then it is without pay.

Thanks the problem is that she lives with us
So where would she quarantine?!
This is what I’ve been trying to explain to her
She doesn’t take the risk seriously so she thinks it’s perfectly fine to go and stay with friends for the weekend
I’m not sure we could trust her to self quarantine as she thinks it’s ok to meet with other people who she believes are being careful, whatever that means

If she has her own entrance and vehicle and a private space within the home, that means she can quarantine there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People being ridiculous as usual on this thread. She can leave but she can’t come back.
I hope you can get along without her. She wants to party with her friends. Nannies do stuff like this all the time. “I’m going back to my country for a month ...” She’s been a good nanny thus far but it’s over.
2 week quarantine if she wants to come back. She’s basically quitting and that’s the way to look at it. You are not holding her in prison as some PPs have suggested. We are ALL “prisoners” in our homes rn.

OP hasn’t left their property in 2 months and expects her nanny to do the same. Most of us are at least going for walks and going to the store.

It's not a matter of not going for walks. OP's nanny wants to go crash with friends, who may or may not be social distancing and live with roommates. For all she knows, they're having parties.

[Anonymous]

Can you legally prevent someone from returning to their own home. Wouldn't that be an illegal eviction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are certainly within your rights to tell her she can't return if she goes to hang out with friends. Of course, given the situation, if I were her I would seriously consider moving out this weekend with all my stuff and collecting unemployment instead. It would be really hard to be captive at your employer's house for months on end. If we knew it would be over at the end of May that would be one thing, but it sounds like you won't be comfortable interacting with the outside world until fall or later.

Yes I’m not sure when we’ll be comfortable
We’re in a hot spot and people all around us are sick
It’s disappointing that she’s going to leave as there’s no safe way for us to replace her either

Bring in a live-in nanny from outside your hot spot. Someone who can prove they’ve been quarantining and who has no problem continuing to quarantine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying her around the clock to essentially be a prisoner in your home?

Are you paying her 24 hours, 7 days a week to essentially work for you nonstop over the next 6-8 weeks?

It is doubtful that you can employ someone and forbid them from seeing a family member or boyfriend for 3 months or more.

If this is unacceptable to her, lay her off, Maryland unemployment is big money now.

Isn’t that what people with au pairs do?

Nope. APs can work at most 45 hours weekly. HPs can set a curfew for a vehicle, parameters for ability to work (ie. not hungover or dragging due to too little sleep). They can state that if an AP refuses to follow quarantine set down by the government, the HP will rematch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she resigned instead of being fired. I'd get clarification of that in an email. I'm not sure that she qualifies for unemployment.

She doesn’t. Resigning due to job putting an employee at risk of covid is covered by cares. Resigning to break quarantine is not.