At a loss with classroom behavior issues
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Anonymous
This part "Most of the people here complaining could comfortably afford it especially when they are buying million dollar houses but instead they'd rather attack someone else child who needs help." |
Anonymous
Most times when the parent is there the kid doesn’t behave the way they usually behave. We had a parent who refused to believe what we were telling her about her child’s behavior and the principal came up with the idea to cover the window into the classroom with paper except for a small part left uncovered and the parent basically spied on her kid. She saw everything we were talking about. They moved to a new house and a new school a few weeks later. Last I heard he was having the same issues there (she blamed it all on our staff) and mom is still refusing to acknowledge that he needs extra support. |
Anonymous
Unless you have two way mirrors it doesn't really work. Children act very differently when their parent is in the room, or an unknown adult in the case of the classmates. |
Anonymous
| There was a very disruptive child in my elementary school when I was little. When he lost his sh*t, a large male teacher was called in to bear hug (restrain) the boy and carry him out of the room. End of situation for the rest of us. No idea where they'd take the kid. But I am interested to learn when and why schools decided to make the whole class leave the room while the one child stays in the classroom and tears it up. And then the kids have to waste even more time while someone gets the room back in order. It turns one troubled kid's bad day into everyone's loss of precious learning time. |
Anonymous
Teachers are not allowed to touch the kids anymore. So the alternative is for everyone else to leave. |
Anonymous
This. Using restraint is an absolute last resort, and those of us who are trained in allowable methods exhaust every single alternative before that, including evacuating classrooms. Use of "safe rooms" is also not allowed, unless it's a CSS site. |
Anonymous
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These threads make me so angry and rage cry. I've had a crap day and feel like slapping some of these posters.
My kid has some of these issues. The classroom has been cleared because of him. Do you know what we had to do in order to get him an appropriate placement where he is thriving? I'll tell you: Thousands upon thousands of dollars of therapy, not including the amount of lost work/salary for me. I don't work anymore because it's too hard to manage. At least 6 meetings with school a year, daily phone calls, IEP meetings, IEP revisions, FBAs/BIPs, etc. private testing. Daily phone call complaints from incompetent teachers, psychologists who told me "you don't seem to care about your kid (she got fired)," and a whole host of garbage comments from other parents. Advocate and lawyer to help us through the process. I had to have therapists who were baiting my child removed from the process after they admitted to baiting him to acting out. More advocate and lawyer costs to get him into his correct placement, where he's thriving and doing very well. And he's only in second grade. That's right, all of this and he's 7. This is a lifelong process for us. We'll do it again next year, and the year after, and the year after. You know what I have to be able to do this: Time and Money. A lot of people don't have time and money to do these things. People can't quit their jobs to go to therapy. People can't pay lawyers and advocates to help them. We can and we're fortunate. I go to Special Ed group meetings near me and people are begging for help--they can't afford it, can't take time off, have trauma in their lives, etc. Yes, some people ignore the problems until it's too late, or don't want their kid labeled, but I really believe that most people are doing the best they can, and, in some cases, they're relying on the school to help them through the process. You can't rely on them. You need need outside help and assistance and a lot of people can't afford that. I don't want your kid to get his hand slammed in the door, or to have to evacuate the classroom. IT's not fair to any of the kids. But I also hate that this topic comes up once a week on this site and people don't seem to understand the other side of it. The lack of empathy for people on these threads is disgusting. So I have an idea for you: Go use your voice to vote for candidates that support all aspects of public education, voice your concerns to your school board and principals, work for additional funding for schools, stop bitching about property taxes on your million dollar homes and then complain that we don't have enough aides for the SN kids. Stop thinking that parents aren't doing the best they can. Find some empathy for people who don't fit in the molds. Life is hard enough. |
Anonymous
How about we admit that trying to pound a a square peg into a round hole has been a complete disaster for our public school system? No one is winning and many students are getting their education ruined in the process. |
Anonymous
NP. I do sympathize with you, PP. However, please understand that many people need to get their own kids therapy BECAUSE of these disruptive children being mainstreamed. It's extremely distressing for 6 year olds to be forced to sit in a room every day where another child might suddenly explode and start throwing heavy objects around. So whatever frustration you feel about your own child not behaving appropriately, try to understand the exponentially worse frustration that other parents feel who are affected by this child who they didn't even bring into the world. I also don't think that anyone on this board would deny that more needs to be offered in the way of services, etc, for troubled children. However, the thing that I think many people are most frustrated about is that with the way the system is set up at the moment, the pendulum is overwhelmingly on the side of supporting the disruptive child rather than doing what's best for the students as a whole. People want support and services for your child, but not at the expense (in terms of education, emotional wellbeing or physical safety) of their own children. Clearing classrooms is an example of something that negatively affects all students with the goal of helping the troubled child, even though it's possibly the most expensive option that there is. Those are the types of policies that could be improved immediately. Respect and consideration goes both ways. Right now, that consideration is firmly on the side of the kids with issues, at least in terms of the way the policies are being made and enforced. |
Anonymous
I disagree that we have to choose between upholding FAPE or overturning it. Students, with or without diagnosed disabilities who routinely disrupt the learning or safety of others are not in an appropriate placement. Students who routinely harm or threaten to harm others are not being well served in a placement where they can do that. It could be the placement is fine, but the student needs more support in that placement in the form of an aide. It could be the student needs a morning social story read to them, someone to come to the room twice a day to give the child a sensory break. It could be they need a cross cat room or an alternative school placement. But when any student harms others repeatedly or disrupts severely to the point evacuation is needed, the placement is not working. No student has the right to violate the FAPE of another. Period. Legally, schools can request an emergency evaluation and outplacement. They can also place a child in a more restrictive environment while evaluations are occurring if safety to others is an issue. There are a number of other things schools can do under the law. Schools absolutely need to better by kids with extreme needs. But leaving them alone in the classroom and just telling the teacher to "tighten up" her procedures? Not okay. |
Anonymous
| If I wasn't completely clear, sometimes FAPE is more restrictive than what the parent would like. But it is still FAPE. |
Anonymous
| Are there studies or resources to read about why this seems to be an epidemic in the US? Why are there so many kids now with such extreme issues? I’m an older millennial and I don’t remember kids like this in school really at all. I’d like to learn more about the current thinking on this. It’s appalling the number of people who post here about similar issues- it’s clearly a widespread issue. |
Anonymous
| Middle school teacher here. I am only up to page 2 responses but echo all the ones saying the contact principal and, if there is not a quick and satisfactory response, superintendent and other contacts. Do these in writing. CC supt on multiple emails and report new incidents. Sorry it has to be this way |
Anonymous
More funding will not solve the issues. It’s a mitigation strategy, not a solution. Violent children should never be mainstreamed. Period. |
Anonymous
There are many theories. They have been debated multiple times on this forum and in the SN forum. But yes, obviously there has been a marked increase over the past generation and even over the past several years. It seems exponentially worse. |