Yelling Coaches/ Yelling Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our u9 boys played in the rec tournament this past week and the SYA coach was completely insane-yelling all kinds of crazy shite. At 8 year olds. He looked too young to be a parent. I would not be happy if my child was screamed at like that.

That was the academy coach from SYA and he's been well documented regarding his behavior. This is why SYA's U8-U10 program suffers even though they are in the middle of fairfax.

[Anonymous]

Some people seem to be caught up in being against having volume rather than focusing on the actual content of what is being said. Classroom analogies are a false equivalency because the setting and dimensions of where the learning is happening are very different. Before long there will be a demand for jazz fingers instead of clapping as a way to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our u9 boys played in the rec tournament this past week and the SYA coach was completely insane-yelling all kinds of crazy shite. At 8 year olds. He looked too young to be a parent. I would not be happy if my child was screamed at like that.

That was the academy coach from SYA and he's been well documented regarding his behavior. This is why SYA's U8-U10 program suffers even though they are in the middle of fairfax.

SYA is in the "middle of Fairfax"????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people seem to be caught up in being against having volume rather than focusing on the actual content of what is being said. Classroom analogies are a false equivalency because the setting and dimensions of where the learning is happening are very different. Before long there will be a demand for jazz fingers instead of clapping as a way to celebrate.

I hear a buzzing...

[Anonymous]

Get this.....

There this way out of control dad (His son plays on same team) that constantly tells my friend's son (BTW- he is one of the best and fastest on the team) Anyway, the mom feels kind of like an outsider (single female) plus all the dad's all get together on buddy up on the sidelines, etc.. She tries to keep her distance after some of the conversations by this group but there's that one dad that is a real jerk. We were at a game last weekend and he said to my friends son "Get to the ball ___!!!" (this is pretty much every game) Now he only does this to her son, we haven't heard him yell this to any other players. Finally she said to this jerk that she had had enough of his crap, etc... I was pretty proud of her for standing her ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get this.....

There this way out of control dad (His son plays on same team) that constantly tells my friend's son (BTW- he is one of the best and fastest on the team) Anyway, the mom feels kind of like an outsider (single female) plus all the dad's all get together on buddy up on the sidelines, etc.. She tries to keep her distance after some of the conversations by this group but there's that one dad that is a real jerk. We were at a game last weekend and he said to my friends son "Get to the ball ___!!!" (this is pretty much every game) Now he only does this to her son, we haven't heard him yell this to any other players. Finally she said to this jerk that she had had enough of his crap, etc... I was pretty proud of her for standing her ground.

Good for her. It’s really inappropriate when parents direct players on the pitch, especially kids who aren’t their own. Not on topic for this thread but I also hate when parents talk with each other about individual kids on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get this.....

There this way out of control dad (His son plays on same team) that constantly tells my friend's son (BTW- he is one of the best and fastest on the team) Anyway, the mom feels kind of like an outsider (single female) plus all the dad's all get together on buddy up on the sidelines, etc.. She tries to keep her distance after some of the conversations by this group but there's that one dad that is a real jerk. We were at a game last weekend and he said to my friends son "Get to the ball ___!!!" (this is pretty much every game) Now he only does this to her son, we haven't heard him yell this to any other players. Finally she said to this jerk that she had had enough of his crap, etc... I was pretty proud of her for standing her ground.

Good for her. It’s really inappropriate when parents direct players on the pitch, especially kids who aren’t their own. Not on topic for this thread but I also hate when parents talk with each other about individual kids on the team.

Overall just BAD SOCCER ENVIRONMENT. He sounds like a typical loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our u9 boys played in the rec tournament this past week and the SYA coach was completely insane-yelling all kinds of crazy shite. At 8 year olds. He looked too young to be a parent. I would not be happy if my child was screamed at like that.

That was the academy coach from SYA and he's been well documented regarding his behavior. This is why SYA's U8-U10 program suffers even though they are in the middle of fairfax.

SYA is i

n the "middle of Fairfax"????

The edge of SYA territory is the Fair Lakes area, which middle-ish Fairfax. But a lot of SYA is Clifton and Centreville, which is pretty far west.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'll yell at our team (I'm a parent and an assistant coach) is to spread out. Because they have a tendency to bunch up, despite us telling them 1,000,000 times in practice to spread out, and they don't realize they are doing it, and it has directly contributed to some losses for us. We yell "spread out," and they do it and sometimes they even stay spread out. We'll also tell a girl she is off-sides so she can get on-side before the ref whistles.

The other thing I hear a lot of is "great idea!" or "nice try" or "good save, Goalie!" We try to keep it positive.

Our coach is not a yeller, which is one reason we like him.

This isn’t yelling, it is coaching.

We’ve got U9 and U10 players. One dad can be tough on his daughter. One mom is also pretty critical of her daughter too, all others yell positive things ‘great hustle’ ‘good passing’ ‘nice save’ ‘way to stay with it’ etc. Some of us also cheer for the other side too. This is club soccer so we don’t know the other teams. But those girls try hard and I love cheering them on. I don’t care about the score or the color of their shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get this.....

There this way out of control dad (His son plays on same team) that constantly tells my friend's son (BTW- he is one of the best and fastest on the team) Anyway, the mom feels kind of like an outsider (single female) plus all the dad's all get together on buddy up on the sidelines, etc.. She tries to keep her distance after some of the conversations by this group but there's that one dad that is a real jerk. We were at a game last weekend and he said to my friends son "Get to the ball ___!!!" (this is pretty much every game) Now he only does this to her son, we haven't heard him yell this to any other players. Finally she said to this jerk that she had had enough of his crap, etc... I was pretty proud of her for standing her ground.

Good for her. It’s really inappropriate when parents direct players on the pitch, especially kids who aren’t their own. Not on topic for this thread but I also hate when parents talk with each other about individual kids on the team.

Overall just BAD SOCCER ENVIRONMENT. He sounds like a typical loser.

Agreed. We have a fat dad like that on our team who admittedly never played the sport, but is an expert on all things soccer. I’m a female D1 player which he does not know. I never have volunteered that I played. I did tell him to shut up at one tournament final because he was messing with the kids on the field who were trying to listen to their coach. I never ever yell directions on the field to my kid let alone anyone else’s. It takes a special kind of @sshole to yell criticism at somebody else’s kid or audibly sigh when they make a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get this.....

There this way out of control dad (His son plays on same team) that constantly tells my friend's son (BTW- he is one of the best and fastest on the team) Anyway, the mom feels kind of like an outsider (single female) plus all the dad's all get together on buddy up on the sidelines, etc.. She tries to keep her distance after some of the conversations by this group but there's that one dad that is a real jerk. We were at a game last weekend and he said to my friends son "Get to the ball ___!!!" (this is pretty much every game) Now he only does this to her son, we haven't heard him yell this to any other players. Finally she said to this jerk that she had had enough of his crap, etc... I was pretty proud of her for standing her ground.

Good for her. It’s really inappropriate when parents direct players on the pitch, especially kids who aren’t their own. Not on topic for this thread but I also hate when parents talk with each other about individual kids on the team.

Overall just BAD SOCCER ENVIRONMENT. He sounds like a typical loser.

Agreed. We have a fat dad like that on our team who admittedly never played the sport, but is an expert on all things soccer. I’m a female D1 player which he does not know. I never have volunteered that I played. I did tell him to shut up at one tournament final because he was messing with the kids on the field who were trying to listen to their coach. I never ever yell directions on the field to my kid let alone anyone else’s. It takes a special kind of @sshole to yell criticism at somebody else’s kid or audibly sigh when they make a mistake.

nah. just your average one around here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'll yell at our team (I'm a parent and an assistant coach) is to spread out. Because they have a tendency to bunch up, despite us telling them 1,000,000 times in practice to spread out, and they don't realize they are doing it, and it has directly contributed to some losses for us. We yell "spread out," and they do it and sometimes they even stay spread out. We'll also tell a girl she is off-sides so she can get on-side before the ref whistles.

The other thing I hear a lot of is "great idea!" or "nice try" or "good save, Goalie!" We try to keep it positive.

Our coach is not a yeller, which is one reason we like him.

Offside is the correct term here. Not offsides.

[Anonymous]

Well it's silly to do any talking/cheering because kids do not hear you very well anyway. If you must -- make it a rule for yourself to only say anything in the past tense -- nice pass, good save, etc . . . Actually though, don't say anything to the players. Enjoy a beverage. Chat with other parents. It makes things more fun.

As you get further along in the process you really mostly are there hoping (1) your kid does not get hurt (2) no one else gets hurt (3) your kid has some fun (4) your kid's team does well.

Basically, for parents of girl players the numbers say that starting at about u13 one kid a year is going to blow a knee. So, you are very much hoping no injuries to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well it's silly to do any talking/cheering because kids do not hear you very well anyway. If you must -- make it a rule for yourself to only say anything in the past tense -- nice pass, good save, etc . . . Actually though, don't say anything to the players. Enjoy a beverage. Chat with other parents. It makes things more fun.

As you get further along in the process you really mostly are there hoping (1) your kid does not get hurt (2) no one else gets hurt (3) your kid has some fun (4) your kid's team does well.

Basically, for parents of girl players the numbers say that starting at about u13 one kid a year is going to blow a knee. So, you are very much hoping no injuries to anyone.

+1 to the watching and hoping he doesn’t get hurt!

As a mom to a young U15– it gets nastier as they get older. He’s currently out with a bad knee injury due to an illegal slide tackle from behind—not going for the ball at all. The head injuries have me most worried. I saw a teammate take a bad concussion and I’m still scarred watching him unable to get up.

Yelling at a ref who is not calling egregious fouls where kids are getting seriously hurt and carried off the field as tempers flare throughout the game is the only acceptable time to say something. As players get older it’s essential to have an official that takes control early before things get too far out of hand.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong. Yelling at a referee is never okay. Would you like to go to work and get screamed at? It's the coaches responsibility to deal with the referee who is not doing their job properly, not yours. Not ever.