Husband won’t get vasectomy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

Yeah, that’s completely fine and your choice, but you should also prepare for divorce.

Funny how when you’re screaming “His body! his choice!” you omit the caveat that it will lead to divorce. I guess what you’re saying is that women’s bodily autonomy leads to divorce?

[Anonymous]

If a man has the attitude the getting snipped is the manly thing to do, great! Many, many (most) men are all about their junk. They have deeply held feelings and beliefs about their manliness in relation to their junk. If a man holds these beliefs strongly (many do), you can't force them to get snipped and have a good relationship going forward.

[Anonymous]

I can see both sides of this. Of course women who have been through decades of menstruation and Pap smears, experienced pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and possibly even fertility treatments and pregnancy loss, would feel like this is a small thing to ask of a husband who hasn’t had to put his body on the line to have a family. However, life doesn’t always work out neatly. Men can father children into old age. We all know men who thought they were done having children in their thirties, but end up divorcing in their forties and remarrying younger women who want to have babies. I can see why a man doesn’t want to close the door on his fertility halfway through his expected lifespan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

(shrug) He divorces her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see both sides of this. Of course women who have been through decades of menstruation and Pap smears, experienced pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and possibly even fertility treatments and pregnancy loss, would feel like this is a small thing to ask of a husband who hasn’t had to put his body on the line to have a family. However, life doesn’t always work out neatly. Men can father children into old age. We all know men who thought they were done having children in their thirties, but end up divorcing in their forties and remarrying younger women who want to have babies. I can see why a man doesn’t want to close the door on his fertility halfway through his expected lifespan.

True but they still manufacture sperm, so a doctor can get it out if he really wants it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH didn’t want one either. Said I should get my tubes tied, and pulled up research saying it’s more reliable. Then I reminded him, NO. Now it’s your turn. I’ve carried 3 babies to term, had my body morphed and stretched, have been poked and prodded by doctors, had my lady parts torn up, had my breasts manhandled by lactation consultants and nipples bleeding from breastfeeding. NO. It’s YOUR TURN buddy.

That's how good relationships work. You discussed it and, ostensibly, worked it out. If my husband, for any reason, didn't want to do it, I wouldn't pressure, coerce, force or guilt him into it.

So you would instead have to take the onus of birth control? It takes two to create a baby. Is he fine with using a condom all the time, which isn't as effective? If you say you don't want PIV sex because you might get pregnant, would he pressure or guilt you into it? If the man has an affair because the wife won't put out is he assuming that his AP is using birth control, or will he use a condom? If she gets pregnant, what then? Or I guess he's assuming she will take care of the birth control, an so once again, not taking any responsibility whatsoever regarding birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH didn’t want one either. Said I should get my tubes tied, and pulled up research saying it’s more reliable. Then I reminded him, NO. Now it’s your turn. I’ve carried 3 babies to term, had my body morphed and stretched, have been poked and prodded by doctors, had my lady parts torn up, had my breasts manhandled by lactation consultants and nipples bleeding from breastfeeding. NO. It’s YOUR TURN buddy.

That's how good relationships work. You discussed it and, ostensibly, worked it out. If my husband, for any reason, didn't want to do it, I wouldn't pressure, coerce, force or guilt him into it.

So you would instead have to take the onus of birth control? It takes two to create a baby. Is he fine with using a condom all the time, which isn't as effective? If you say you don't want PIV sex because you might get pregnant, would he pressure or guilt you into it? If the man has an affair because the wife won't put out is he assuming that his AP is using birth control, or will he use a condom? If she gets pregnant, what then? Or I guess he's assuming she will take care of the birth control, an so once again, not taking any responsibility whatsoever regarding birth control.

We do what works for BOTH of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man has the attitude the getting snipped is the manly thing to do, great! Many, many (most) men are all about their junk. They have deeply held feelings and beliefs about their manliness in relation to their junk. If a man holds these beliefs strongly (many do), you can't force them to get snipped and have a good relationship going forward.

Nobody is forcing anybody. He doesn't need to get a vasectomy to not have kids. He can wear a condom. He can abstain. Apparently Wife is willing to do the abstaining or condom route, but not dangerous and libido dumping hormonal birthcontrol or dangerous and invasive tubes getting tied. Everybody has options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

(shrug) He divorces her.

(Shrug) no great loss.

[Anonymous]

new ground rules:

1) he has to perform oral on you every.single.time and must have at least one big O
2) PIV is not to last more than 4 minutes
3) He can finish in your mouth, on the body but not in V.

problem solved and it's a win-win.

PS - backdoor is of course an option but that 's entirely for you to control or deny access

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

(shrug) He divorces her.

(Shrug) no great loss.

(Shrug) Definitely not for him, since he ditched the demanding, sex-denying harpy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

Yeah, that’s completely fine and your choice, but you should also prepare for divorce.

Funny how when you’re screaming “His body! his choice!” you omit the caveat that it will lead to divorce. I guess what you’re saying is that women’s bodily autonomy leads to divorce?

Sex is an essential and important part of marriage. Cutting off sex for any reason other than severe medical issues is grounds and good reason for divorce (no, I am not a man).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

Yeah, that’s completely fine and your choice, but you should also prepare for divorce.

Funny how when you’re screaming “His body! his choice!” you omit the caveat that it will lead to divorce. I guess what you’re saying is that women’s bodily autonomy leads to divorce?

Sex is an essential and important part of marriage. Cutting off sex for any reason other than severe medical issues is grounds and good reason for divorce (no, I am not a man).

I can't even tell what you're arguing for here. A vasectomy is a simple, outpatient procedure, but you think that a woman not wanting a tubal ligation is the one cutting of sex for a capricious reason?

OP your husband sucks. Sorry. I'd order a huge box of condoms off Amazon and say that's the last thing you're doing for BC because you're not getting another IUD. And mean it. He'll probably say fine and use them. If they truly interfere with his pleasure he'll come around. If they don't, you'll be using condoms going forward.

[Anonymous]

My wife promised regular oral finishes, I got the vasectomy and she has kept her word. I love her more now than when we were 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife promised regular oral finishes, I got the vasectomy and she has kept her word. I love her more now than when we were 25.

What is this? Are there irregular ones?