Husband won’t get vasectomy

[Anonymous]

When I told my DH I wanted my IUD out, he decided to get the V. I kind of wanted another kid and he pretty much didn’t. I told him I’d be fine with condoms, but I wasn’t going to be the condom police and insist if he wanted to go without when I kinda wanted another kid. He opted for the V. We had a surprise 2nd kid about 6mos before we would have started “trying” for the second when we were only using condoms for birth control. So the fact that condoms could result in an unintended pregnancy was very real. To be clear, condoms resulted in pregnancy because 1 time we didn’t use them, not because of actual condom failure.

[Anonymous]

Does he want another kid? My H doesn’t want a V even though we have three kids and I am dONE because he would be happy to have another kid and doesn’t want to permanently close that door. I don’t want more kids so I make sure to cover birth control.

[Anonymous]

After I had our second kid DH announced he would get a vasectomy.
That I had put my body through enough (pregnancy, c section, loose ligaments and pelvic pain, nursing, pumping, mastitis, etc).. but also he really didn't want an oops.

It was sooo simple.he was out for a day and fine the next.

[Anonymous]

If he won't get it then he needs to use condoms. If he won't use condoms then no sex. End of story.

I hated the copper IUD and I can't use hormonal birth control for medical reasons. DH is willing to get the snip but hasn't gotten around to it yet. We use condoms. If he weren't willing to use them, I'm sure he'd be motivated to go for the vasectomy sooner.

[Anonymous]

What is his reasoning?

If mine had refused a vasectomy I’d have made him wear a condom.

Mine happily got the vasectomy - after seeing me go through pregnancy and childbirth multiple times he felt it was only fair and I agree. Barring some sort of good reason not to do it.

Unless he has good reason (not sure what that might be, but I would be willing to listen if he did) then he is just being selfish.

[Anonymous]

No condom or no sex. He can take his pick.

[Anonymous]

Thank god I married a real man.

We knew we didn’t want anymore kids, so when I was pregnant with our second, we were debating whether I should go for the tubal ligation (it looked like I was going to need a csection anyway), or if he would get a vasectomy. He decided that he wanted me to make my decision without pressure, so he went and got a vasectomy.

Good thing, because my doctor FORGOT to do the tubal ligation while I was having the csection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sucks. What is his reasoning?

Maybe he've looked up stuff?...

Vasectomy May Put Men at Risk for Type of Dementia
CHICAGO --- Northwestern University researchers have discovered men with an unusual form of dementia have a higher rate of vasectomy than men the same age who are cognitively normal. The dementia is Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA), a neurological disease in which people have trouble recalling and understanding words.

https://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2007/02/vasectomy.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sucks. What is his reasoning?

Maybe he've looked up stuff?...

Vasectomy May Put Men at Risk for Type of Dementia
CHICAGO --- Northwestern University researchers have discovered men with an unusual form of dementia have a higher rate of vasectomy than men the same age who are cognitively normal. The dementia is Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA), a neurological disease in which people have trouble recalling and understanding words.

https://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2007/02/vasectomy.html

Yeah there’s no risk associated with tubal ligation, birth control pills or IUDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sucks. What is his reasoning?

Maybe he've looked up stuff?...

Vasectomy May Put Men at Risk for Type of Dementia
CHICAGO --- Northwestern University researchers have discovered men with an unusual form of dementia have a higher rate of vasectomy than men the same age who are cognitively normal. The dementia is Primary Progressive Aphasia (PPA), a neurological disease in which people have trouble recalling and understanding words.

https://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2007/02/vasectomy.html

Yeah there’s no risk associated with tubal ligation, birth control pills or IUDs.

Or pregnancy or childbirth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my friend's husband wouldn't get one (never the right time, it's biking season or it's this or that season). They now have an unplanned 3 month old baby #3. He's now snipped. He was grumbling about her decision to keep the baby (rather than abort) and I was like uh---this is your fault buddy.

Doesn't matter what season....the approach these days is so non-invasive. My husband finally had one Friday AM. Came home, took a nap, went to kids sporting event that night. No pain killers, no advil, not even ice. Hardly any swelling. The rest of the weekend was normal activity - if I didn't know he did it, I wouldn't know he had surgery.

It's such a piece of cake these days - and much easier than tubal ligation for me which I was considering.

[Anonymous]

His body, his choice. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Shrug) his body, his call.

Go get your tubes tied.

Her body, her choice. She doesn’t want an IUD or her tubes tied.

(Shrug) No sex for him.

Yeah, that’s completely fine and your choice, but you should also prepare for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH didn’t want one either. Said I should get my tubes tied, and pulled up research saying it’s more reliable. Then I reminded him, NO. Now it’s your turn. I’ve carried 3 babies to term, had my body morphed and stretched, have been poked and prodded by doctors, had my lady parts torn up, had my breasts manhandled by lactation consultants and nipples bleeding from breastfeeding. NO. It’s YOUR TURN buddy.

Was this not a personal choice of yours? You knew what having kids would entail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH didn’t want one either. Said I should get my tubes tied, and pulled up research saying it’s more reliable. Then I reminded him, NO. Now it’s your turn. I’ve carried 3 babies to term, had my body morphed and stretched, have been poked and prodded by doctors, had my lady parts torn up, had my breasts manhandled by lactation consultants and nipples bleeding from breastfeeding. NO. It’s YOUR TURN buddy.

That's how good relationships work. You discussed it and, ostensibly, worked it out. If my husband, for any reason, didn't want to do it, I wouldn't pressure, coerce, force or guilt him into it.