Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH had a vasectomy after his second child. She was 10 when I got pregnant using donor sperm.

And?

OP’s master plan isn’t going to stop him from starting a new family.

A guy who doesn’t take care of his biological children doesn’t strike me as one who will agree to sperm donation.

I’d say that depends more on the new lady in his life than anything else. You’d be surprised.

That’s true without the vasectomy. However, I don’t see a guy who’s indifferent about kids going through the expense and trouble of IVF. Sure, it could happen but it seems super unlikely.

Without a vasectomy? Yes, absolutely, I can see a guy deciding to have unprotected sex with his wife/girlfriend and having another baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH had a vasectomy after his second child. She was 10 when I got pregnant using donor sperm.

And?

OP’s master plan isn’t going to stop him from starting a new family.

A guy who doesn’t take care of his biological children doesn’t strike me as one who will agree to sperm donation.

I’d say that depends more on the new lady in his life than anything else. You’d be surprised.

Sure. For a bit. But a guy like that is not going to stick around to raise a child who is not biologically his.

[Anonymous]

Man here and I actually understand where OP is coming from at least in trying to protect her kids assets. Thing is, divorce is expensive, you are already dividing assets. And dating is expensive, especially when you consider he likely will be dating 20 something's and taking them on weekend trips and buying the typical gifts men but women in realtionships.

Point being, there is no way to control this after they split and you need to let your control issues go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Maybe she can support them in her own. But maybe she doesn’t want them to deal with seeing their father treating his younger differently than them. It can be really hurtful to be a teenager and have your dad tell you that he can’t pay for private college for you, but he’s paying for private school for his younger children. No matter what OP can afford to give her kids it’s still hurtful to see your dad give siblings preferential treatment.

How is this hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

I got a vasectomy just before wife and I separated. I wanted to make a rational decision not to have kids with someone else rather than thinking with my heart/penis when being doted on by a younger woman who is asking pretty please for a new family. Plus, it's very freeing in the post divorce world of unlimited sexual partners not to worry about fathering more kids.

It also weeds out many of the younger women from the dating pool who say they are indifferent to kids but secretly hope to change your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.

Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.

Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a vasectomy just before wife and I separated. I wanted to make a rational decision not to have kids with someone else rather than thinking with my heart/penis when being doted on by a younger woman who is asking pretty please for a new family. Plus, it's very freeing in the post divorce world of unlimited sexual partners not to worry about fathering more kids.

It also weeds out many of the younger women from the dating pool who say they are indifferent to kids but secretly hope to change your mind.

I don't think anyone would argue it's a bad choice for a man to make after he has as many kids as he wants. It's OP framing it as her choice to have him get a vasectomy so she can control the options he has in his life after they're divorced that is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a vasectomy just before wife and I separated. I wanted to make a rational decision not to have kids with someone else rather than thinking with my heart/penis when being doted on by a younger woman who is asking pretty please for a new family. Plus, it's very freeing in the post divorce world of unlimited sexual partners not to worry about fathering more kids.

It also weeds out many of the younger women from the dating pool who say they are indifferent to kids but secretly hope to change your mind.

I don't think anyone would argue it's a bad choice for a man to make after he has as many kids as he wants. It's OP framing it as her choice to have him get a vasectomy so she can control the options he has in his life after they're divorced that is nuts.

Vasectomies are reversible and I've known people to have it reversed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a vasectomy just before wife and I separated. I wanted to make a rational decision not to have kids with someone else rather than thinking with my heart/penis when being doted on by a younger woman who is asking pretty please for a new family. Plus, it's very freeing in the post divorce world of unlimited sexual partners not to worry about fathering more kids.

It also weeds out many of the younger women from the dating pool who say they are indifferent to kids but secretly hope to change your mind.

I don't think anyone would argue it's a bad choice for a man to make after he has as many kids as he wants. It's OP framing it as her choice to have him get a vasectomy so she can control the options he has in his life after they're divorced that is nuts.

Vasectomies are reversible and I've known people to have it reversed.

That’s not the point. You think it’s right to manipulate/trick/force a male or a female in to get a procedure to effectively sterilize themselves because you have judged them inferior to yourself. You do not have that right, but continue to vote for Trump!

[Anonymous]

Offer to get exempted from alimony and/or to an unequal distribution of assets. I suspect many guys would go for it.

[Anonymous]

You are so wrong. No one should cut off fertility if they are getting a divorce. You are beyond petty.

[Anonymous]

Vascetomies can be reversed... Also they are not 100%. My body decided to fix itself after my first vascetomy.. so I went again...

[Anonymous]

I would want him to get one but it sounds like you will have to lie and manipulate to accomplish it. If he knows divorce is on the table why would he do this?