Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

This is not true!

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another... The effect on your children would be difficult to handle as well.

This applies to everything else about about splitting up, but not new siblings for your children!

[Anonymous]

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another...

Not if you’re a mature adult. You’re divorced. That guy is free to live his life.

[Anonymous]

Don't we all agree it's obviously up to her DH!

I really don't understand why any guy would want more kids if he has 2 or 3. Too many guys believe a woman takes her BC everyday. Some forget, skip days or simply want to have a child. Why would a man want to support 2 families? Huge mess.

OP can at least see how he feels about it, either way it's his call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch.

Sounds like he has a type...

You are crazy if you think a parent can stop missing his child because he has another one. Do you think if you have a second child, your DH will forget about your firstborn because there’s a brand new baby that’s younger and cuter? Or better yet, what if he divorced you and has another baby with a third woman? Maybe he should forget about your kid too? Yikes! Maybe you should rethink children with this man!

Actually it happens a lot from what I've seen. Some guys think they've met their dream, she wants to have a child and he wants a do over. The first kids are angry and resentful, hate the new step. Every visit is a nightmare whereby they become less and less. Dad starts taking wife and new kids on vacation when his are in school etc. etc. The first kids making their new life miserable isn't worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH had a vasectomy after his second child. She was 10 when I got pregnant using donor sperm.

Oh, now there's a plot twist lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has to think about her children. If you think it's in their best interest to encourage him to get a vasectomy, do it.

If OP were actually thinking about her kids, she would not have had more children than she can support all by herself.

Pay attention, Ladies. DCUM has been especially enlightening about male attitudes this week.

Any nudes you send him, he will share with his buddies.
Men marry for sex.
Be able to support any kids he fathers with you all on your own.

Keep ‘em coming, guys. This is going to spare a lot of women.

That's an oxymoron if there ever was one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

This is not true!

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another... The effect on your children would be difficult to handle as well.

This applies to everything else about about splitting up, but not new siblings for your children!

Yep. Once my youngest turns 18, I will care less about what her dad does because she will be free. We already know he won’t help with college. He spends as little time with her as possible without lowering his CS under MD’s formula. She might see him once or twice a year once she is out of HS. He can have twenty more kids then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

This is not true!

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another... The effect on your children would be difficult to handle as well.

This applies to everything else about about splitting up, but not new siblings for your children!

Yep. Once my youngest turns 18, I will care less about what her dad does because she will be free. We already know he won’t help with college. He spends as little time with her as possible without lowering his CS under MD’s formula. She might see him once or twice a year once she is out of HS. He can have twenty more kids then.

I bet she ends up cutting him off. Even now there's no way to force her to see him at her age, I think you both are done with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another...

Not if you’re a mature adult. You’re divorced. That guy is free to live his life.

That doesn’t mean you can’t feel stress or other emotions about him having other children, you moron. This would be normal and a big difference from thinking you can control him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another...

Not if you’re a mature adult. You’re divorced. That guy is free to live his life.

Wait what? Being a mature adult means you don’t care about things that impact your children’s lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch.

Sounds like he has a type...

You are crazy if you think a parent can stop missing his child because he has another one. Do you think if you have a second child, your DH will forget about your firstborn because there’s a brand new baby that’s younger and cuter? Or better yet, what if he divorced you and has another baby with a third woman? Maybe he should forget about your kid too? Yikes! Maybe you should rethink children with this man!

Actually it happens a lot from what I've seen. Some guys think they've met their dream, she wants to have a child and he wants a do over. The first kids are angry and resentful, hate the new step. Every visit is a nightmare whereby they become less and less. Dad starts taking wife and new kids on vacation when his are in school etc. etc. The first kids making their new life miserable isn't worth it.

Then congratulations! You’ve married and had a child with a man who will ditch his children when he doesn’t like their behavior. Pay attention because he will treat your child the same way when he tires of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

This is not true!

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another... The effect on your children would be difficult to handle as well.

This applies to everything else about about splitting up, but not new siblings for your children!

Yep. Once my youngest turns 18, I will care less about what her dad does because she will be free. We already know he won’t help with college. He spends as little time with her as possible without lowering his CS under MD’s formula. She might see him once or twice a year once she is out of HS. He can have twenty more kids then.

I bet she ends up cutting him off. Even now there's no way to force her to see him at her age, I think you both are done with him.

I think having a loving and supportive stepfather really showed her that her so-called real dad is purposefully doing the minimum. Her sense is that he doesn’t value her more than his lifestyle stuff, including weed, and women. She’s certainly done having her heart broken for the guy who chose to get high and laid rather than spend the day with his daughter on the eve of going to jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s actually a good idea.

Talk about wanting a baby or whatever you think would motivate him.

If you get divorced and he starts a new family, he’ll probably have little kids when yours are in college and REALLY need financial support. People tend to focus on what’s in front of them (in this case, the little kids) and it’s easy for a stepmom to argue that the older kids are “adults” and they need to focus on private school for the little kids or whatever.

College students *are* adults.

[Anonymous]

This is some immoral, self centered & self serving bullshit.

What kind of person does this?

I can't imagine you're very stable if your controlling ways have driven you to contemplate this.

Oh & for those who keep mentioning that the OP is just worried about her kids inheritance, nowhere in her post did the OP mention that.
One of the first few people to respond to the original post mentioned that, but not the OP herself.

NOWHERE did she mention her kids.

She sounds like she's WAY more concerned with him having a happier life with someone younger, which screams bitterness & jealousy, not concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It would be stressful to see your ex have a baby... and another...

Not if you’re a mature adult. You’re divorced. That guy is free to live his life.

Wait what? Being a mature adult means you don’t care about things that impact your children’s lives?

If you get stressed out about what happens under someone else’s roof that is pretty normal - having a family - you are the problem. If in your mind you’ve reduced your ex to an ATM for your kids, you are the problem.