Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real.

Why not?

I have a friend that had been married to her husband for almost 15 years. They had three kids. Her husband up and left her when the third kid was still a baby. He had been having an affair with a younger woman at work and decided he'd rather be with her.

He went on to marry her and guess what? THEY had a couple of kids. Then he decided he didn't want to work anymore so ditched his legal career and stopped paying child support.

Sorry, but I'd protect myself and my kids first if I had the chance.

Why wouldn't a guy do that to ensure his kids are protected? On the off chance some woman tried to trick him. Or as I've heard poke needle holes in his condoms. OP can take a life insurance policy out on him and be the owner of the policy. This is fairly common. Fyi the guy who ditched his career still has to pay support, she can easily enforce that. If he stops they'll issue a warrant so that little ploy doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

I agree with OP mainly to protect the kids from being hurt and embarrassed. It's not something to be proud of, but I suppose finances is another one. I didn't care what my ex did, but I was in a different situation. Actually the more I talk to his widow I think he had a lot of debt! The home we had together is now paid off, and his poor widow is going to have to work for sometime. She ended up being the executor of his estate, he inherited his dad's business which apparently had a ton of debt. At the end of the day OP needs to protect her kids as best she can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a few years you will relax about whatever your ex does or doesnt do. this is not something you'll be proud of no matter how bad he is. Rise above the petty ideas. Just dream about them or write a book.

In a few years you will be fine with your ex never talking to your children, not paying for college and not showing up to their wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real.

Why not?

I have a friend that had been married to her husband for almost 15 years. They had three kids. Her husband up and left her when the third kid was still a baby. He had been having an affair with a younger woman at work and decided he'd rather be with her.

He went on to marry her and guess what? THEY had a couple of kids. Then he decided he didn't want to work anymore so ditched his legal career and stopped paying child support.

Sorry, but I'd protect myself and my kids first if I had the chance.

You don't protect YOURSELF by making someone else have a medical procedure. Good God. Who needs this explained? By all means raise the issue, but respect a hard hell no if that's what he says. His body, his choice. Protect your children by earning more yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real.

Why not?

I have a friend that had been married to her husband for almost 15 years. They had three kids. Her husband up and left her when the third kid was still a baby. He had been having an affair with a younger woman at work and decided he'd rather be with her.

He went on to marry her and guess what? THEY had a couple of kids. Then he decided he didn't want to work anymore so ditched his legal career and stopped paying child support.

Sorry, but I'd protect myself and my kids first if I had the chance.

You don't protect YOURSELF by making someone else have a medical procedure. Good God. Who needs this explained? By all means raise the issue, but respect a hard hell no if that's what he says. His body, his choice. Protect your children by earning more yourself.

Men are legally responsible for all the children they have. Just because a woman has enough money does not negate the fact that the father must provide money as well.

My BFF's mom had enough money but as soon as her kids turned 18, she bought them a lawyer and they each sued him for back child support. They each got about $100K but that does not take away the pain of having to have a court order it.

It actually worked to their favor that he had other kids, because the court determined how much he spent on those kids and ordered my friend the same amount.

[Anonymous]

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow up.

Many men will never grow up.... but I agree, grow up and take care of the family you created before you move on to create another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

Creepy sociopaths.

Although I’m not a sociopath, I get why this might make for an awkward brunch topic. I see the point about controlling the fertility of a third person more than I do about his fertility. I can’t physically force the man to have a vasectomy, he’d consent.

Consent under false pretenses is not consent. I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to tell him you want a vasectomy so that he won’t have kids with a subsequent partner.

Do you think it changes the scenario if he’s fully aware I’m still one foot out the door? B/C at that point my reasoning why I want him to have one isn’t really manipulating him into having one, he’d be fully aware of the risks (if he thought them out)
I don’t think he wants to have more kids. I think a future DW will want kids and he’s a yes-man.

Um - you are a sociopath. Let him decide on his own if he wants a vasectomy without any undue influence under the false pretense of you staying with him.

What kind of person thinks this way?

[Anonymous]

No One:

Harpies of DCUM: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY BODY!

Also Harpies of DCUM: ALL MEN SHOULD HAVE A VASECTOMY AFTER DIVORCE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you are batshit crazy!

My boyfriend has been separated for two years and will be divorced soon.

His ex wife is a controlling bitch who alienates him from his daughter and tries to limit his custody so she can maximize her CS.

Well she's got another thing coming because now I'm pregnant and we will have our own family. He doesn't have to cry every night from missing his child bc I will give him another one.

Oh and the ex wife kept saying that he better not have another kid. Bye bitch.

LOL
You tricked him and accidentally on purpose got pregnant. He's not even divorced, you're only the OW!

Now he's stuck, he has to be with one of you because he can't afford to pay 2 women. Wait and see, if he's smart he'll run those numbers. Then realize it's cheaper to stay with his wife and kids.

You're a great case for men to get a vasectomy once they their family! I agree with you OP!

You sound like one of those insecure wives who knows deep down that you will ultimately get left and your DH will end up with a younger and prettier woman.

Having a kid to trap a man is seriously evil. I hope he sees you for what you are - Rotten Apple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a lot of second wives, it’s an equalizer baby. I’m a second wife. So are many of my friends. They jump through hoops to try to have a couple of kids if the first wife has kids. One told me I was a fool to not squeeze in at least one kid with DH. What fool takes money out of their stepkids’ mouths to be on equal footing with his ex?

Someone who wants their own child?

They have their own kids with their first husband.

Women are very clear on how other women think, which is why op is (smartly) preparing herself by tricking the the stbx into getting fixed. Same way the second wife would try to trap the husband with an equalizer baby. Both women are deceptive, meanwhile the man is the one being played. Secure your bag, op

If a man want more children he Will not get a vasectomy. He isn't being tricked.

I agree.

OP needs to talk to her DH, I don't see the problem since he already has kids. He may think it's a great idea.

[Anonymous]

OP may want to read this to understand herself better: http://shrink4men.com/2011/05/17/does-your-wife-or-ex-wife-have-a-golden-uterus-complex-15-characteristics-of-the-golden-uterus/

[Anonymous]

OP is a total control freak... get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP may want to read this to understand herself better: http://shrink4men.com/2011/05/17/does-your-wife-or-ex-wife-have-a-golden-uterus-complex-15-characteristics-of-the-golden-uterus/

Oh, thanks for posting this site! I forgot about it. Oh, the golden uterus.