Having DH get a vasectomy before we seperate

[Anonymous]

Ha! It’s s good idea if you can convince him to go through with the vasectomy.

Yes, they can be reversed, but it’s not a sure thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two kids together. He’s 38. Basically, the marriage isn’t working. He’s lied for the past five years, I don’t think I’ll move past it, but what keeps me from wanting to leave is the thought of him starting a new family at 40 with some late 20-something because now he has money.
It’s petty, but so were a his really stupid lies.

How are you going to do this, op? He has free will and can say no. Are you performing the surgery yourself while asleep? Otherwise, I would abandon this idea. Either work on the marriage or get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

So I guess if you get pregnant, he can “make” you have an abortion. Or if you threaten, make you get your tubes tied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

Creepy sociopaths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be real.

Maybe the OP is a troll, but this is a real issue that first wives run into. Sometimes second wives, too. We had two because that’s what we could afford. When we divorced, he constantly complained about paying the amount the state calculator determined. If that was so onerous, why would he want to make more babies? I could understand a whoops, but planning more kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two kids together. He’s 38. Basically, the marriage isn’t working. He’s lied for the past five years, I don’t think I’ll move past it, but what keeps me from wanting to leave is the thought of him starting a new family at 40 with some late 20-something because now he has money.
It’s petty, but so were a his really stupid lies.

How are you going to do this, op? He has free will and can say no. Are you performing the surgery yourself while asleep? Otherwise, I would abandon this idea. Either work on the marriage or get a divorce.

Yes, I’ll be preforming the procedure after I’ve drugged him.

Something like, “I want you to get a vasectomy if you’re serious about me staying we can’t have any more surprises come up” or as others suggested, “I’d really like to start trying for another baby soon.”
We have two for context. I’m 31.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

Creepy sociopaths.

Although I’m not a sociopath, I get why this might make for an awkward brunch topic. I see the point about controlling the fertility of a third person more than I do about his fertility. I can’t physically force the man to have a vasectomy, he’d consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two kids together. He’s 38. Basically, the marriage isn’t working. He’s lied for the past five years, I don’t think I’ll move past it, but what keeps me from wanting to leave is the thought of him starting a new family at 40 with some late 20-something because now he has money.
It’s petty, but so were a his really stupid lies.

How are you going to do this, op? He has free will and can say no. Are you performing the surgery yourself while asleep? Otherwise, I would abandon this idea. Either work on the marriage or get a divorce.

Yes, I’ll be preforming the procedure after I’ve drugged him.

Something like, “I want you to get a vasectomy if you’re serious about me staying we can’t have any more surprises come up” or as others suggested, “I’d really like to start trying for another baby soon.”
We have two for context. I’m 31.

You know I wasn't serious about the surgery, right? My point was you can suggest it but,you can't make him. Is he worried about having an oopise? We have two and no oopises so it can be done. I think you should spend time working on the marriage, barring physical and emotional abuse or addiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

Creepy sociopaths.

Although I’m not a sociopath, I get why this might make for an awkward brunch topic. I see the point about controlling the fertility of a third person more than I do about his fertility. I can’t physically force the man to have a vasectomy, he’d consent.

Consent under false pretenses is not consent. I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to tell him you want a vasectomy so that he won’t have kids with a subsequent partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

Creepy sociopaths.

Although I’m not a sociopath, I get why this might make for an awkward brunch topic. I see the point about controlling the fertility of a third person more than I do about his fertility. I can’t physically force the man to have a vasectomy, he’d consent.

Consent under false pretenses is not consent. I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to tell him you want a vasectomy so that he won’t have kids with a subsequent partner.

Do you think it changes the scenario if he’s fully aware I’m still one foot out the door? B/C at that point my reasoning why I want him to have one isn’t really manipulating him into having one, he’d be fully aware of the risks (if he thought them out)
I don’t think he wants to have more kids. I think a future DW will want kids and he’s a yes-man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people insane?

You want to control the fertility of another person. Think about this. And potentially a third person as well. You all need some damn hobbies.

Creepy sociopaths.

Although I’m not a sociopath, I get why this might make for an awkward brunch topic. I see the point about controlling the fertility of a third person more than I do about his fertility. I can’t physically force the man to have a vasectomy, he’d consent.

Consent under false pretenses is not consent. I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to tell him you want a vasectomy so that he won’t have kids with a subsequent partner.

Do you think it changes the scenario if he’s fully aware I’m still one foot out the door? B/C at that point my reasoning why I want him to have one isn’t really manipulating him into having one, he’d be fully aware of the risks (if he thought them out)
I don’t think he wants to have more kids. I think a future DW will want kids and he’s a yes-man.

Let him be the one to decide and let it go.

[Anonymous]

OP writes like a character from an MRA post.

[Anonymous]

Petty indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I guess if you get pregnant, he can “make” you have an abortion. Or if you threaten, make you get your tubes tied.

THIS THIS THIS

OP, you have very serious mental health issues and resentment. You’re already jealous of a future partner that may or may not even exist. What is it like to live this way? Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Man here and I actually get the logic of this if not how this would actually happen. Thing is, if he leaves you he is going to be spending money on someone else and likely shacking up with another woman and her kids. So it's kind of inevitable

For me, I got a vasectomy because I don't want more kids even if wife and I split