Sister is a SAHM and her workday social media posting drives me up a wall. Confront or leave alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority BUT I’d say something.

My sister and I tend to be very blunt with each other, to the point that she has told me now they you’re a mom, your kid is more important it’s not about you anymore etc

But I also give it back to her. So this wouldn’t be an issue. We’re confrontational but we also resolve issues.

Your sister was right about what she bluntly said. OP just has a tortured opinion, not wisdom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, myob.

Second, I’m sure you won’t get this, but being a SAHM can actually be quite hard. It’s very isolating (hence the social media) and not having money is not fun. The same set of pros and cons that apply to you working vs not working apply to her too, but — for whatever reason — she cane down on the other side of the equation. That doesn’t make it idyllic. And it may be that she doesn’t see a path to get from where she is to working, while still managing the household. Anyway, you might seek to be a little more understanding rather than your current combo of superior and envious.

I'm genuinely empathetic to her boredom and isolation. I'm not being mean, how is it not obvious to her that the kids are all in school now, she's bored with nothing to do, so she needs to go back to work? When I say "confront" I mean like we need to get her to wake up and realize she needs a job.

What job will let her take off for kid’s sick days, teacher work days, school vacations.........? And be home before they get home from school?

[Anonymous]

You need to seriously myob

[Anonymous]

I think you are the problem , not her. So what she posts on social media... you musn't be that busy if you are reading her posts.

I'd hate for you to be my sister if you were acting this way, judging me. Its not like she's hurting anyone. You sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

You're taking what I assume is a big personal annoyance and making it a much bigger deal than you need to. No one in their right mind is going to see your sister's incessant inspirational quotes and say "Ohhhhh...that reflects poorly on THE FAMILY!" Who are you...the f****** Dowager Countess? Come on.

I know people who do this stuff - it's silly and irksome. You can unfollow them, mute them, or if it's causing you so much stress due to worry about family reputation (LOL) or perhaps...some jealousy?...then you should consider consuming less social media yourself.

As for the college savings plan, frankly, that's just none of your business and it's petty to mention. THAT comment reflects poorly on you; not your sister's social media use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, myob.

Second, I’m sure you won’t get this, but being a SAHM can actually be quite hard. It’s very isolating (hence the social media) and not having money is not fun. The same set of pros and cons that apply to you working vs not working apply to her too, but — for whatever reason — she cane down on the other side of the equation. That doesn’t make it idyllic. And it may be that she doesn’t see a path to get from where she is to working, while still managing the household. Anyway, you might seek to be a little more understanding rather than your current combo of superior and envious.

I'm genuinely empathetic to her boredom and isolation. I'm not being mean, how is it not obvious to her that the kids are all in school now, she's bored with nothing to do, so she needs to go back to work? When I say "confront" I mean like we need to get her to wake up and realize she needs a job.

What job will let her take off for kid’s sick days, teacher work days, school vacations.........? And be home before they get home from school?

NP here. Preschool teacher. School sub. School employee (clinic or library assistant, office employee, kindergarten assisted, cafeteria monitor.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, myob.

Second, I’m sure you won’t get this, but being a SAHM can actually be quite hard. It’s very isolating (hence the social media) and not having money is not fun. The same set of pros and cons that apply to you working vs not working apply to her too, but — for whatever reason — she cane down on the other side of the equation. That doesn’t make it idyllic. And it may be that she doesn’t see a path to get from where she is to working, while still managing the household. Anyway, you might seek to be a little more understanding rather than your current combo of superior and envious.

I'm genuinely empathetic to her boredom and isolation. I'm not being mean, how is it not obvious to her that the kids are all in school now, she's bored with nothing to do, so she needs to go back to work? When I say "confront" I mean like we need to get her to wake up and realize she needs a job.

What job will let her take off for kid’s sick days, teacher work days, school vacations.........? And be home before they get home from school?

NP here. Preschool teacher. School sub. School employee (clinic or library assistant, office employee, kindergarten assisted, cafeteria monitor.)

Good idea, but these don't work like that. What about the logistics of you're subbing in Olney but your child is in school in Chevy Chase? What about certifications and schooling and requirements? What about family-based decisions on what is best?

It pisses me off that lots of women (who work, usually) feel that ALL women are obligated to work or they're letting women down. That's BS. It's often women who make a lot who just assume it's no biggie to get a PT job. Well, if you may $200K a year and don't work that's one thing, but if you have a BA in history and don't have a ton of experience and you might make $55K a year, the calculus for taking a PT job for even less is very different when you have to factor in childcare, before/after care (these are often needed for PT jobs), clothing, lunches, the impact that has logistical on the breadwinner, etc... It doesn't even mean you're going be saving a lot for college after the fact. And I say this as a working mom!

[Anonymous]

Under age 55
Kids old enough to all in school all day
Not well off
Desperate workday posts on social media
= I and everyone else is side-eyeing the hell out of you

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you work? Does your boss know you spend time on social media on office time? I’d fire your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're taking what I assume is a big personal annoyance and making it a much bigger deal than you need to. No one in their right mind is going to see your sister's incessant inspirational quotes and say "Ohhhhh...that reflects poorly on THE FAMILY!" Who are you...the f****** Dowager Countess? Come on.

I know people who do this stuff - it's silly and irksome. You can unfollow them, mute them, or if it's causing you so much stress due to worry about family reputation (LOL) or perhaps...some jealousy?...then you should consider consuming less social media yourself.

As for the college savings plan, frankly, that's just none of your business and it's petty to mention. THAT comment reflects poorly on you; not your sister's social media use.

The OP’s sister and every other bored unemployed mom that does the same look like losers. SAHM is when the kids are young, after every kid is in 1st grade it’s time to get a job or some hobbies or volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the minority BUT I’d say something.

My sister and I tend to be very blunt with each other, to the point that she has told me now they you’re a mom, your kid is more important it’s not about you anymore etc

But I also give it back to her. So this wouldn’t be an issue. We’re confrontational but we also resolve issues.

+1. Sister is embarrassing herself, family should speak up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, myob.

Second, I’m sure you won’t get this, but being a SAHM can actually be quite hard. It’s very isolating (hence the social media) and not having money is not fun. The same set of pros and cons that apply to you working vs not working apply to her too, but — for whatever reason — she cane down on the other side of the equation. That doesn’t make it idyllic. And it may be that she doesn’t see a path to get from where she is to working, while still managing the household. Anyway, you might seek to be a little more understanding rather than your current combo of superior and envious.

I'm genuinely empathetic to her boredom and isolation. I'm not being mean, how is it not obvious to her that the kids are all in school now, she's bored with nothing to do, so she needs to go back to work? When I say "confront" I mean like we need to get her to wake up and realize she needs a job.

What job will let her take off for kid’s sick days, teacher work days, school vacations.........? And be home before they get home from school?

Who’s going to put money in the 529?

[Anonymous]

Why is OP constantly watching social media at work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is OP constantly watching social media at work?

You can view someone’s collective social media timeline of posts after the fact. You don’t have to see everything live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care that she is posting while everyone else is working... why does that bother you? But, if she complains about not having enough money then she should definitely get a part time job she can work while kids are at school

And what are those magical, readily-available part-time jobs that happen only during school hours? If such exists, no doubt each opening gets a billion applicants.

+1.