Sister is a SAHM and her workday social media posting drives me up a wall. Confront or leave alone?

[Anonymous]

Op, for gosh sake, just unfollow her on social media. Problem solved. No need for drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are way too wrapped up in her life choices, and I am a working mom. it is none of your business at all.

She's our sibling, it's a poor reflection on our extended family. It's trashy. Get off social media, at least. And separately, get a freaking job.

She is who she is and nothing you can do will change her. You are too invested in her and what you think she needs to do. Hide her posts and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, for gosh sake, just unfollow her on social media. Problem solved. No need for drama.

OP said the sister borrows money from their parents to support middle class lifestyle. That will still exist even if you mute the Facebook. If you’re broke you need to get a job after the kids start all-day primary grades. Period.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it reflects poorly on you or your family. It makes her look pathetic in my eyes as an outsider. Never once have i seen a loser-type person on social media and immediately thought 'oh, their poor family!' even when it is someone I know and whose siblings/family I know as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sits on her rump all day with her kids all in school. She's addicted to social media, posting cliche motivation mom quotes and kids sports practices all day fishing for likes and attagirls. They have no 529 for their kids. She constantly complains about money. Am I an awful sister for wanting to confront her? Our two brothers are passive and agree with me about her embarrassing herself (and our extended family, to be honest) but they refuse to say anything because they don't want to ruffle feathers. Her laziness and attention-craving drives me up a wall. At the very least get off social media while we're all at work, and maybe, just maybe consider getting a damn job?

*vent over*

You did your venting, OP. It's OK. I'd be jealous, too (OK, I am a little...I burn my candle at both ends and have more than one paid job). But what are you gonna do?

[Anonymous]

You sound jealous, mean, and insufferable, OP. Let me guess, she was always the prettier sister?

[Anonymous]

U Jelly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are way too wrapped up in her life choices, and I am a working mom. it is none of your business at all.

She's our sibling, it's a poor reflection on our extended family. It's trashy. Get off social media, at least. And separately, get a freaking job.

OP, you need boundaries. You need to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are separate from your sister and anyone who blames you for her behavior is no friend. And accept the things you cannot change - like your sister. Sorry, I'd find her annoying, too, but you're in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, for gosh sake, just unfollow her on social media. Problem solved. No need for drama.

OP said the sister borrows money from their parents to support middle class lifestyle. That will still exist even if you mute the Facebook. If you’re broke you need to get a job after the kids start all-day primary grades. Period.

Sure, but none of that is OP's business unless her parents have asked her (OP) for help. Whether or not OP's sister works is between her and her husband (a d anyone they hit up for money, but doesn't sound like that includes OP). Do you get involved in your sibling's career choices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, myob.

Second, I’m sure you won’t get this, but being a SAHM can actually be quite hard. It’s very isolating (hence the social media) and not having money is not fun. The same set of pros and cons that apply to you working vs not working apply to her too, but — for whatever reason — she cane down on the other side of the equation. That doesn’t make it idyllic. And it may be that she doesn’t see a path to get from where she is to working, while still managing the household. Anyway, you might seek to be a little more understanding rather than your current combo of superior and envious.

I'm genuinely empathetic to her boredom and isolation. I'm not being mean, how is it not obvious to her that the kids are all in school now, she's bored with nothing to do, so she needs to go back to work? When I say "confront" I mean like we need to get her to wake up and realize she needs a job.

Wait, a few posts earlier you complained that she is an embarrassment to the extended family. So is it about that or is it about her?

Geez, I know a lot of people who overdo the social media in attention-seeking ways (sometimes fishing for praise, other times fishing for pity). I get that as a sibling you have some inside knowledge but all you are likely to accomplish is drama (which you don't want to incite in a social media addict). Your brothers have the right idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, for gosh sake, just unfollow her on social media. Problem solved. No need for drama.

OP said the sister borrows money from their parents to support middle class lifestyle. That will still exist even if you mute the Facebook. If you’re broke you need to get a job after the kids start all-day primary grades. Period.

Sure, but none of that is OP's business unless her parents have asked her (OP) for help. Whether or not OP's sister works is between her and her husband (a d anyone they hit up for money, but doesn't sound like that includes OP). Do you get involved in your sibling's career choices?

Plus, OP is unhappy that Sis is portraying this family paradise at the same time. Even if Sis stopped doing that (as if) what are the chances she would stop hitting up the folks for $?

[Anonymous]

OP, my SIL is also a SAHM, posts dumb stuff on social media, never has any money, has my in-laws take care of her kids basically full time (they are retired), and expects my in-laws to bail her and her husband out every time they make bad financial decisions (which is often). My husband and I are the opposite. But you know what? What my SIL does is none of my business. I have unfollowed her on social media because I don't care to see what she posts, I don't respond if she ever makes comments about not having money (because it is her choice not to work, not mine), never say anything about my in-laws providing non-stop childcare, and never mention the money the in-laws give them. Because it's none of my business. None of it. You need to work on letting all of this go because it's making you a really nasty person.

[Anonymous]

OP. As long as your sister is not stealing your money, you do not need to do anything. No confrontation, no judgement, no engagement, no commenting.

Anecdotally - I have often observed that sisters are very judgemental with their own sisters. They are always mocking, competitive, critical and manipulative. You are behaving like that. I am glad I have no sisters and only have brothers. It means that we mind our own business and support when support is asked for.